What did you wish you knew about the menopause in your 30's?

[HystericalDinosaur]

So, I'm mid 30's and have realised I know nothing about the menopause. Off to Google that.
But what did you wish you knew about it when you were in your 20's and 30's? What won't Google tell me?

Oh I was going to say that I wish I’d known that it doesn’t jump out at you and smack you around the face and say “Ta Da! No periods! Sweat a little!”
Instead it sneaks around like a two faced frenemy, guerilla warfare on your hormones and body, and mental well-being.

I wish I knew that it has for too long, been a weirdly kept secret that most women are too ashamed to talk about.

Im shouting my symptoms from the rooftops and I feel no shame!

This will be such a useful thread. I'm late 30s and feeling it looming in my near future, but absolutely nobody in my immediate circles has EVER talked about it. I have no real idea what to expect. I kind of imagined, as above, that it would be periods stopping and maybe feeling a bit hot every so often for a while.

I'm glad it's being spoken of more, and, like you, I need to get on Google and find out what's what, but honestly I'm clueless right now.

I wish Id been more diligent with my teeth...
all the talk of hot flushes and night sweats and nobody mentions that you might lose bone density in your jaw or develop gum disease due to reduced saliva production.🙁
Take really good care of your teeth!

I am 38 and know nothing and want to keep it that way for as long as possible. The few snippets that have bee forced on me sound horrific. So honestly I just want to keep my head in the sand for a year or two more.

That it will free you from a lot of shite you used to worry about. I find it's like going back to how happy I was before adolescence.

I would say to build muscle now whilst you still have your hormones. It is so much easier in your 30s and muscle is so important for metabolic health, blood sugar control, maintaining a healthy weight etc.

I wish I’d known that it wasn’t just hot flushes and being cranky. During peri I suffered terribly with constant UTIs and I was diagnosed with anxiety disorders that took over my life. I didn’t realise I was in perimenopause (it wasn’t a ‘thing’ then) and no doctor ever suggested a potential hormonal cause. Once I went through menopause (surgically, overnight) both problems were instantly cured.

I also wish I’d known about the menopause symptoms that are far more debilitating than hot flushes. In my case, migraines and joint pain.

Absolutely nothing. You’re in your 30s. Go live your life! Travel. Take up running and run that marathon you always said you’d run. Take that risk for the promotion. Take care of yourself but live life. I’m mid 40s and I’m not at all preoccupied with the menopause.

The absolute dryness. Hair, scalp, vagina, and the rest.

I didn't know what peri was. As far as I knew, periods slowed and stopped over a few months ..ha!! Some got flushes, but that was it..I didn't know about brain fog, mood swings..oh the rage, I flipped in a second, still do With hind sight it cost me a job, I was managed out. Left the same day as they announced a 'menopause policy' 🤔😒🤬 tick box policy for most companies to say they are 'inclusive', that means Jack shit

That you don't have to wait until your periods stop to start HRT.
Also the joint pain,itchy ears and insomnia are absolutely a symptom of peri.

I'm early 40s and this is my second year of entering a really low mood. SAD has never really affected me before, but last year I was the same this year I just can't shake the feelings again. It's not even full on depression, it's just a complete lack of desire to do anything. Apathy. Then wham bam, come March/April it's gone.

Add that to my cycle being insane (26 day cycle since forever, now it's anything from 14 to 37 😵‍💫) and it's a bit of a wild ride.

Also acne. Charming.

My mother had an awful menopause so was dreading it. Fortunately for me no symptoms other than irregular periods for a couple years til they petered out. And a poll of friends and about a third were the same. So I guess I wish I knew that it isn't always that terrible.

That it is different for everybody.

If my best friend was answering she'd give you a long list including 'ants under her skin' , the end of the world and weight gain. She is currently on a hefty dose of HRT, and is feeling much better.

Me, it's been hot flushes and sweats, vaginal atrophy which is sorted out with am oestrogen pessary twice a week - no fuss - and my body fat has altered to look more dimply. I haven't gained weight. I now look my age, though, having evaded doing so for mumble years! No other HRT.

On the plus side the horrible PMT I used to get has gone. Then there's the freedom of no periods, and no risk of pregnancy so my sex life has never been better. An unexpected bonus has been the increase in libido which was insane through peri, and has now settled to a level that is manageable but still higher than before.

Don't try to predict it, but don't fear it either.

The weight gain. It's quite something. (For me anyway). So if I had my time again I would spend my thirties getting into healthy eating habits and getting physically fit when whilst I could get away with not doing those things. Because then I wouldn't have got to 43 and suddenly have a rubber ring of flab that I need to start from zero to try and shift, and it's not easy.

I didn't know much about the menopause at 30 but it didn't matter as it wasn't relevant to me.
I learnt more about it as I got closer to it happening through friends and research.
I was surprised it made me feel anxious. I've never been an anxious person so it felt weird. It also made me feel agitated too. It's strange. Plus all the other stuff.
I'm now on HRT and am one of the people who think it's a miracle drug.
I came off it for a while and all the symptoms returned so I went back on it.

I realised I had a poor internal thermostat my whole life not just while I was going through menopause and now I'm on HRT it works. It's amazing not suddenly feeling burning hot. I'm so much more comfortable.

Anyway the biggest thing you need to know is that it's important to get the other aspects of your life sorted out. I wouldn't want to be dealing with a shit partner or a horrible stressful job at the same time as menopause.

Menopause didn't affect some of my friends but menopause plus other stuff would be hard work.

The importance of doing strength building exercise / resistance exercises
The sad thing is that my mother never talked about menopause. I remember when she was in her mid forties and became more agitated and slightly depressed . I now realise that she was probably going through the menopause

I had no weight gain.

Also some people go through the menopause with very few symptoms

That just because you don't have obvious 'symptoms' doesn't mean there aren't lots of changes going on in your body that you need to be mindful of/ protect against eg changes in bone density, collagen production etc.

Nothing. I knew it wasn't going to be a drama. It wasn't a drama.

According to Benjamin Franklin, nothing can be said to be certain except death and taxes. I would like to add menopause to his short list of inevitabilities. Just as I wouldn't keep telling a child, 'Brace yourself, you'll be paying taxes one day', I wouldn't encourage too much preparing for and thinking about menopause. It will be there but the exact shape it will take is impossible to predict.

Enjoy what your body can do now and care for yourself - it will make you feel better - but do not do this in the spirit of something awful is going to happen and I ought to do this in preparation.

Have you had children yet (if you plan for that to be part of your life?).

At your age fertility is the only thing you need to know about. Other than that, just try to stay fit and cross that bridge when it comes to it. There is loads of info out there for you when you are in your mid forties, and science might have changed by then anyway.

I’m 50, I’m not researching dementia and arthritis! Or funeral plans.

Same here. My DM could be a menopausal nightmare until she was eventually prescribed HRT. Though TBH she’d been something of a hormonal nightmare before/during periods.
I count myself very lucky that I didn’t take after her in that respect.

I don’t think you can prepare because everyone is different !
just be mindful that when u enter your 40s these niggles cud be menopause symptoms other woman have horrible can’t cope symptoms everyone is so different !
For me the weak bladder was the first sign at 44 !! Then some aches I do have arthritis thou but my rheumatologist actually said it’s more than likely menopause (nope psoriatic arthritis)
Then came a skin problem linked to the thyroid often you will get immune system problems going into the menopause which can be very similar symptoms so get to know yourself well !
Skin becomes dry and this had led me to have acne at 48 it’s awful !
Im on Hrt but you know what I’m coping ok just take care of yourself ! Try and enjoy life and don’t fret it’s normal part of ageing but advocate for yourself do not be gaslit by G.PS if you know your own self well its not in your head so advocate you do not have to suffer needlessly xxx