What did you wish you knew about the menopause in your 30's?

[HystericalDinosaur]

So, I'm mid 30's and have realised I know nothing about the menopause. Off to Google that.
But what did you wish you knew about it when you were in your 20's and 30's? What won't Google tell me?

How does what’s going with my vagina cause problems with my eyes?! Well it bloody does - I am also experiencing sandy dry eyes.

That there are so many symptoms that you might not associate with menopause.

I began HRT because I stopped sleeping (was never good at it but was barely managing 2-3 hours a night) and was so hot all the time I was literally walking the dog in the snow.

I found a whole load of other symptoms disappeared - sore breasts, itchy skin, middle age spots, fatigue.

Strength training - it's so much easier to build muscle and bone density in your 30s and it provides you with a reserve. That doesn't have to mean major gym sessions which can be difficult to fit in, it's really effective to do lots of little and often exercises that fit into your lifestyle e.g. hold a squat while the kettle boils, carry heavy bags of shopping, lift your child (they love active play).

Oh, and make sure the media you listen to involves older women who are so often just not heard in the mainstream - there are so many amazing podcasts overflowing with wisdom, humour and a refreshing intolerance of bullshit.

That it's not all negative as so many people would have you believe! My greasy skin is no longer an issue, I'm not permanently cold like I used to be, I care much less about what anyone thinks and hopefully it won't be too much longer before my periods stop forever. I can't wait!

@beeeeeeez did you swap from oestrogen patches to the pessary?
Is the pessary good? im thinking of swapping to that .

I’m 42 and it’s all anyone seems to go on about. I’m glad I didn’t start conversations in my 30s. Quite honestly, I’m surprised women get hired at all - when we’re young we get pregnant, older we get brain fog and can’t remember anything. I just keep being told how awful it’s going to be.

I think the message to take isn't it's awful for everyone - because it isn't. But equally there are many potential symptoms and lots of ways you can alleviate those symptoms. But only if you know a bit about it.
Turns out there are estrogen receptors all over our body, hence the variety of ways the reduction can impact you. I know several women who have sailed through it easily. It's not all doom and gloom. But looking after yourself is really important.

I'd have been incredibly grateful to have had some forewarning that the dreadful anxiety, aches and pains, etc etc could have been sorted with a little bit of added oestrogen.

I started peri quite young so most of my peers were clueless and older friends had just put up with it and weren't inclined to be terribly helpful.

I thought it was going to be hot flushes and that was it. In fact I've rarely had a hot flush - but had every other bloody symptom...

I think it needs talked about. So women can get the help they need/want.

All of this!!

Also, it needn't be a big deal..
I'm 54 and havn't had a period for 2 years.
I've put on a bit of weight, but this does also coincide with changing from an active job to a sedentary job. It that's all. No hot flushes, no joint pain, no brain fog....

Don’t start thinking about it yet.

That for a lot of us, it isn't a big deal.

I wish I'd known that all health problems after the age of 37 would be blamed on perimenopause by my GP. And that they were wrong.

Aa a bloke and my wife having gone through it, we both wish we'd researched it maybe from 35 onwards. It's been an interesting experience, challenging for her but we got through it. Together.

Lads - please spend some time reading up on it. It an 'us' problem and not just for the girls to deal with alone.

Not sure if this adds anything to your OP but just our experience.

It can happen earlier than you might think , I was at 40 when it happened . Went to the Dr who gave me a blood test to confirm.
You can also get atrophy where it all begins to shrink , including the clitoris which I'd not heard of at all .

Absolutely this, and I'm 55 soon and possibly through it. Very few symptoms except for a higher libido than I have had for years.

@TaylorSwish try the red Hycosan. I’ve found it a great improvement. Hard to explain the discomfort it causes to anyone thats not experienced it.

I think it’s caused by unopposed oestrogen, when the progesterone levels have dropped and the oestrogen is still running wild! Bloody hormones.

Nothing and at the age of 48, I'm still glad I know very little about it.

I'll know when I know, no point researching, worrying, thinking about it - the bloody media does that enough. I'm sick of hearing about 'menopause this' and 'peri that' 🙄

Jeez, you've got enough to worry about in your 30s! Cross that bridge when you come to it.

There are loads of positive things about aging too, I am 49 and have never been happier. Yes, I have some perimenopausal symptoms, but they don't define me.

That no matter how naturally slim you are and no matter how much you are able to eat without putting on a kilo, this will change. I used to be able to watch what I eat and the kilos would easily fall off, now that I'm in my 50's and menopausal this is no longer the case.

That older women will dismiss your concerns about the menopause and be really insulting and flippant about it.

I have no frame of reference either and nobody to ask, none of my female relatives lived long enough to go through menopause, however I am surprised about thinking about it in your 30s, I’m in my 40s and have it on the list of things worry about in about 10 years time. Reading with interest.

There is nothing that I wish I had known about the menopause in my 30s. I just hope that by the time people now in their thirties get to the menopause, coverage of it has calmed down a bit. I hope that there will have been a new return to the idea that women of a certain age aren't inherently flawed just by virtue of going through an essentially positive transition to the post-fertile part of their life.

There are illnesses related to the menopause that need treatment. Then there is the menopause itself, which is a good thing.

That, for me, it won’t be nearly as bad as the media / Davinia etc convey it as

I wasn't thinking about it at all in my 40s let alone my 30s. We're told the average age of menopause if 51 with the range from 45 to 55. However, there's a recent thread on here 50s still having periods? where people are saying they know no-one who went through the menopause in their 40s and people are having regular periods into their late 50s and early 60s. So, it could well not happen for years yet. I only started getting any (mild) symptoms in my 50s.

That most women start peri menopause early 40’s, not in our 50’s as I thought…