What did you wish you knew about the menopause in your 30's?

[HystericalDinosaur]

So, I'm mid 30's and have realised I know nothing about the menopause. Off to Google that.
But what did you wish you knew about it when you were in your 20's and 30's? What won't Google tell me?

I thought I might feel a bit hot and cranky for a few months in my fifites, I was wrong.

Enjoy your thirties, enjoy your skin and your hair, your waistline, being able to dance all night, or even wanting to, and being generally full of beans.

If I'd have wanted to know anything aboout perimenopause (haven't crossed the threshold into post menopause yet) it would be that it will kick off a decade earlier than I'd anticipated with sypmptoms affecting me considerably from my early forties, and it can be likened to a second puberty.

perimenopause. I wish I'd known it was a thing and that it can (often) start a long time before the actual menopause. I went almost straight into peri after having my 2nd child at 39. Didn't actually go through menopause (i.e. periods stopping) until I was 46 though... In those 7 years I often thought I was losing my mind...

That I would be in complete menopause by 39. So even married at 31, and trying to conceive straight away was too late for me, due to reduced fertility.

1. The “menoapause” is not having a period for 1 year. Once you’ve done that, you’ve “gone through the menopause”. The bit with all the shit symptoms is the peri-menopause. I did not know this until I started peri.

2. The range of things that our hormones affect is huge. I had no idea so many things were basically governed by hormones. My symptoms included massive moods changes, rage, anxiety for the first time in my life (had to do breathing techniques when in the car with DH driving as I was convinced 50 mph was way too fast and we were all going to die!), night sweats, hot flushes, joint pain, migraines, weight gain. Oh, and memory loss! The joint/muscle pain has probably been the worst for me.

3. It’s different for everyone so what your mum went through may not be what you go through. My older sister started peri about 2 years after me and hasn’t needed HRT.

4. What works for you might be different for other people. My peri started 4 years ago and I’m on HRT but have come off for almost a year as I wasn’t experiencing symptoms. When my symptoms came back I went back on. I’ve found CBD, magnesium and Vitamin B complex have helped.

5. I no longer have any f*cks to give. Being a late 40s/50 yr old peri-menopausal woman is amazing! Whereas I used to not cause a fuss and be nice, I now speak up and will challenge people when they’re being dicks. I remember when I got through the psychotic rage phase and realised I no longer cared what people thought. I think it’s like what being a bloke is like. Do your own thing, say what you want, be who you want to be. Peri women are an incredible untapped resource. We’ve got bags of life experience, no patience so get stuff done and will not tolerate fools. Do not cross a peri-menopausal woman. We will come for you 😉

6. Get fit. I had children late, was always healthy but never really did organised exercise and never had to worry about my weight too much. I have put on about 2 stone of stubborn weight that will not go. My shape has changed so I’ve had to reconsider what clothes I wear. Aging sucks and I don’t’ recognise the person looking back at me in the mirror and going up two dress sizes is bollocks. I would be miserable eating the tiny amount I’d need and doing the hours of exercise necessary to shift the weight. Don’t need anyone (medical professionals looking at you 😠) to tell me that you don’t put on weight, you just get hungrier so eat more and if you just have a balanced diet and do regular exercise it will go. I have always put on hormone weight. This weight is different and it sucks.

7. There’s a lot of camaraderie amongst peri women 😀 The number of conversations I’ve had with total strangers about being menopausal is hilarious. Get 2 women of a certain age together and you’ll soon get a full run down of symptoms, suggestions for remedies and a good dose of moral support!

Knew nothing in my 20s and 30s and would not change a thing. If I’d bothered to find out about menopause back then, most of what I thought I knew would be completely wrong by now. In another twenty years, much of what we know now will also change. All we can do is learn as we go and go by the best information available at the time.

That it doesn't negatively affect everyone, and for some of us it's half a dozen 5 minute flushes of heat and you're done.

I never gave it a second thought throughout my 30s, and never needed to. I’m 49 and only just starting to think about it, don’t wish your youth away.

That the symptoms are many and varied and can start waaaaaaay before you're even thinking about them. Mine started to creep in around my late 30s and I was thinking that I had about 10 years before I needed to consider peri-menopause at that point. So educating yourself early and knowing what to be on the look out for isn't a bad idea.

The other one too is that knowledge is power and that if you're able to take HRT it's fucking great! I've been on it for nearly five years and honestly, my symptoms are negligible. So be proactive, educate yourself, and if you need medication don't be shy about asking for it.

But also try not to worry too much. I feel like menopause has been turned into this terrifying thing now that women fear. I'd say about half my friends feel they don't need medication and those of us that do generally feel pretty good once we've sorted out what works. The women that really struggle and have a very tough time seem to be a small subset - at least of the women I know.

That it will take sooo long!!! That if you ask your GP for help you get fobbed off. The symptoms might be erratic or none at all. I was in peri menopause with extremely heavy periods for years. Eventually I had the coil and was period free for four years. Now post menopausal. The symptoms do vary from person to person. Also developed bone problems since the menopause. Something else they don't tell you about!!

Everyone is different but there are things that seem to have helped me.

i wish I had started functional and strength training earlier.
I wish I had started incorporating more cruciferous and phyto oestrogen earlier.
I wish I had found my husband earlier - frequent /daily good sex is supposed to delay onset of peri!

I am having an easy menopause without needing medical support but think it would be even easier if I had started preparing my body 5-10 years earlier, though it’s never too late.

All the different symptoms, I thought it was irregular periods, hot flushes and anger. And I didn't realise I can start age 35+.

That it was possible that it would hit in my 30’s!

I spent two years (I should make clear that it started earlier than two years before but once it became unmanageable I sought help) suffering being told (by not a crap in other ways gp) that it was probably anxiety, that anxiety can cause physical symptoms.
Ye every single symptom was related to being in early menopause!
early menopause (the drop in hormones too early) can directly lead to cardiac and bone issues in later life so I don’t understand why it’s not taken seriously when women present with symptoms that match.

I know now why so so many old women have very short hair cuts that they style in fluffed up ways or curly and set.
it is because they are trying their best with what little hair they have left to make it look as nice and as full as possible and hide their scalp.

it is because it’s is so common for your hair to fall out in massive amounts and leave you with thin fragile hair but not necessarily leave you bald (which a gp would take seriously) just an in-between awfulness.

That it would be a breeze for me & don't pay attention to all the scaremongering.

I would say that if you don’t have any women’s problems now, such as heavy periods, PMT etc don't be so smug that you won’t have any peri menopause issues because it will come along and hit you like a ton of bricks.
That what I would tell myself at 30 😬

That hot flashes can still happen years after menopause. I complained about it once at a craft group and a lady who is 76 said 'I still get them'. Ugh.

That it will start a lot sooner than you think and you will be dismissed because of your age.

I would say, just enjoy your thirties and don't worry about it. There is a lot of scaremongering about it. Some people will have a hard time, and if you are one of them then there will be help for you. A lot of people have mild or no symptoms, so you might be one of them too. Time will tell. I would say that if you are getting yourself in a panic about it or are worrying a lot, then step away from discussions about it and focus on other things.

Peri menopause goes on forever. Downsides are brain fog, too hot / cold, sweating, not sleeping or waking up at 03.00 and not being able to get back to sleep, anxiety / feeling low, itching everywhere, too much hair, losing hair etc etc.

Did I mention brain fog? It becomes impossible to have a decent get together with girlfriends as you all sit there trying to remember WTF you were talking about, any details about anything at all and you can't even drown your sorrows as alcohol makes you feel as if you are on fire.

The trouble is that there are so many small things that are not quite right, that you don't necessarily realise the cause, a lot of them can be attributed to other things or just general life stress. It is unlikely your GP will be helpful, seek out the person with the gynae specialism at your surgery if you need help.

On the upside, you stop caring about stuff - you literally become the physical embodiment of zero fucks given. Of course the big one is eventually no more periods. 🥳🥳 I'm 56 now and hopefully should reach this in January (as long as my bloody ovaries don't decide to have another last hurrah). 🤞

Not always possible to ignore it in your 30s

Care to explain further?

Many women (including me) are symptomatic from as young as 35.

That it's possible to go on hrt without having every symptom.
I'm 44 and only have 2 or 3 symptoms of peri and the dr agreed to HRT

Your face explodes. One day it's smooth skin and jawline and next it's like a melted candle.

If that is menopause then it is early onset and a medical condition. Or do you mean perimenopause?

Perimenopause is the new name for menopause it's all the same thing.