Party - do I have to feed people?

[Dawevi]

I'm having a big party for an upcoming big birthday, hiring a venue and getting a band or DJ but that is quite expensive. I was looking at catering prices and realise that it will push the party into a price bracket that I'm really uncomfortable with. I was wondering if a party starts at 8:00 or 8: 30 do I really need to feed people?

If I was really clear on the invitations to eat before you come (I'm not sure how I would word this, suggestions are welcome please) then do you think people would be okay with that?

For previous big birthdays I have catered but things are different financially now.

Alternatively, I wondered about just providing bowls of nibbles on the tables.

What do you think? If you went to a party would you be cross if you had to you eat before you went?

plus must people with allergies/dietary needs etc are used to not eating at parties

Well yes but not usually out of choice but because they aren’t being considered and catered for.

If the drinks were on the host, that would be the more obvious place to cut back than food?

A "free bar" all night would definitely prove more expensive than providing food.

Providing a light/moderate buffet for guests at a party hardly qualifies as an “orgy of eating”.

I’m giggling at this
Not every event has to be an orgy of eating.
It may be one of the most MN things I have ever read 😂
In pretty much every country in the world (even poor ones..) people get together to celebrate and that ALWAYS involves food. It doesn’t have to be expensive. I agree with the pp who pointed out that the food sort of breaks things up, gets people mingling and chatting as well.

I think you've got your priorities wrong.

How much is the live band? I'm guessing around £500-£1k be at a minimum.
Just get a DJ instead of the band and use the money you've saved to actually feed your guests.
Costco sandwich platters are actually really nice and you could supplement with pizza/pies/salad bowls etc for not very much.

X post IHateWasps 😀

I’m now imaging the reaction of my family if I hosted a party with no food… the shame on the family name… !

I've never been to a part day or night where there's no food. Generally it's what people have done themselves
Rolls or sandwiches
Quiche
Vol au vents
Crisps
Salad
Pizza
Sausage rolls
Cocktail sausages
Chicken items
And so forth
Gateau cheesecake etc

Rope in your friends?

You slice, Connie, I'll spread. 😅.
In tribute to Victoria Wood.

I'm thinking about this more and more
...

How much are you spending on your outfit?
How much are you spending on the cake?

Surely you can cut down other costs and feed the guests. If I went to a party that was all fancy without food I would be so confused and it would go down as an Instagram party for likes. You have to think about the guests too.

OP it’s not entirely clear whether or not you are providing drinks or whether it is a cash bar.

If it’s a cash bar and all you are doing is providing a venue and a DJ then, unless you are under 25, I really do think that what you are doing is unreasonable.

My view is that if you can’t afford to provide some refreshment for your friends then you can’t really afford a party. Why not arrange a night out instead when it’s clear everyone is paying their way?

If you expect guests to bring gifts ect, then you should provide food.

you need at least a few snacks ,you could do whats called a pot luck were everyone required to bring one plate of party food or snacks

"I'll reiterate what I said, a party is a party, where there generally IS an expectation that food will be laid on, that's regardless if it's a wedding, birthday, christening party, you name it. It's ALL the same."

Well, no. We also have this thing called DRINKS party and guess what, they have DRINKS.

"then people expect all that a party consists of, and that includes food"

I don't expect food at a drinks party and neither do many people. Maybe some nibbles, but not necessarily a meal. In any case, OP will write on the invitation that there is no meal so there's no problem with what people expect.

"wedding receptions only last for a few hours too"

Eh? There's usually a meal and then a disco thing in the evening, not to mention the ceremony. Weddings can be all-day events.

What a bizarre question. Of COURSE you should provide food at a party!

If you had made this a poll I guarantee it would have been almost 100% saying YABU @Dawevi

Yes hosting a party means you need to cater food. Although at that time of night I wouldn't expect anything fancy to eat.so sandwiches, pizza slices, crisps etc is fine.

Agree that no food is just bad hosting and bad manners. It doesn’t cost much to at least put on some sandwiches and sausage rolls and cheese with crisps.

Why will they want to eat if they've eaten beforehand? Why would they need two meals?

If no food you need to start later, 9 at the earliest.

What is the position re drinks?

Depending on the venue, could you make it a bring and share party instead?

Tbh OP if a party is out of your budget maybe do another way of celebrating. If I was invited to a party I'd expect food and drink . Yes put an amount behind the bar or if no bar bottles to toast the birthday person but at least something .

Depending on how many people you could easily get a decent selection of Costco sandwich and cake platters, spending just a couple of hundred pounds, if that.

Yea, you should provide food for the big birthday party, or plan something else that fits your budget.

You really don't get it for you?

The OP hasn't said she's providing drinks, so it's not a 'drinks party'

Have you never just been to a wedding reception? They start probably about 7:30 at night, and people expect food. There are of course guests that attend the wedding all day, but many don't, and are only invited to the night do.

You're too much hard work to converse with, so no need to reply to me with nonsense, cheers

"Have you never just been to a wedding reception? They start probably about 7:30 at night, and people expect food. There are of course guests that attend the wedding all day, but many don't, and are only invited to the night do."

You're talking about the evening do. The reception is the meal and is often in the afternoon.

Well, I personally wouldn't eat a full meal before a night of dancing and drinking as I wouldn't want to do that on a full stomach. I'd have a snack before going with the expectation that there would be food available to soak up the alcohol - not a full meal, but things like pizza, sausage rolls, crisps, a cheese board and bread.

People like food with their alcohol - there's a reason why there are kebab and pizza shops near to bars and clubs! I also think there's a massive risk that people will leave early and go and find their own food if there isn't any provided.

What do you think? If you went to a party would you be cross if you had to you eat before you went?

You can word this on the invitation and I would still attend if you were a close friend but I wouldn't stay too long. After I eat I rarely want to go far let alone to a party and drink. If it's just drinks then I'll treat it as a drop in before I move on to dinner/or go home.