Party - do I have to feed people?

[Dawevi]

I'm having a big party for an upcoming big birthday, hiring a venue and getting a band or DJ but that is quite expensive. I was looking at catering prices and realise that it will push the party into a price bracket that I'm really uncomfortable with. I was wondering if a party starts at 8:00 or 8: 30 do I really need to feed people?

If I was really clear on the invitations to eat before you come (I'm not sure how I would word this, suggestions are welcome please) then do you think people would be okay with that?

For previous big birthdays I have catered but things are different financially now.

Alternatively, I wondered about just providing bowls of nibbles on the tables.

What do you think? If you went to a party would you be cross if you had to you eat before you went?

Highly rude to expect people to celebrate you in your choice of venue with your choice of music and not provide catering or a free bar if there's no food.

Don't have a party you can't afford for the sake of vanity. Go out for a meal (people will pay for their own) and drinks afterwards.

I have never been to a party without food but tbh that doesn’t mean it can’t be done. If I was going for a night out it would be music and drinks so I’m sure people can manage without a tuna and cucumber sarnie. Just make it known there’s no food.

I think if you make it 8pm people will not expect food.
Are you providing drink? If not what are you providing other than a band and DJ?

This really depends on the age group you're inviting. If it's a 50th and lots of people a similar age then they'll likely not want to go a party like that, I would probably decline that invitation A 30th is different

Food is the centre of any celebration, but sadly it's often 5th fiddle in planning, and as a result it usually ends up a sad offering. Can you downsize your plans so that it still includes a place, some music and food? Personally at 8pm I'm not looking for a meal, that would be more of a cocktails nibbles one for me, so it's not a full on buffet at least!

Times are changing and I don't agree with pp that if you don't serve food then don't have the party.

I don't think times are changing at all. If you're not providing food or drinks or anything to make it a party then it's not a party. All you've done is hire a room and agreed a time. That doesn't make it a party. If you're hosting a party you actually have to do some hosting?

If you’re having the sort of party where you have a venue and a DJ, then yes, food does need to be served.

If you’re inviting friends to a bar at half 8, then food isn’t your responsibility.

You don’t need to get catering. You can maybe look at hiring a pizza van which will be cheaper, or even just sandwiches and finger food from a supermarket

My work stopped paying for food at Christmas parties, what that means is that everyone is absolutely smashed by 10. Anyone hungry and/or not absolutely smashed will have left.

If you want people to dance the night away then you need at least some nibbles.

She is also going to hire a DJ or a band.
I think nibbles would be fine as long as there are plenty available. Along with a cake .

Have been to 4 x 50th's recently, one last night. Of course you must provide something. Some crisps, a tray of sausage rolls, a pot of chilli, at least something.

Agree too. And this is why we never give parties! Can’t afford to do it generously means we want afford to do it full stop.

Lots of people won't eat before.

Lots of people will be blind drunk/ puking on the floor !

Some kind of food is needed

But nobody really cares or notices if the music is from a band, DJ or played through the speakers from someone's playlist on a phone.

They do care if they are hungry getting drunk faster because there's nothing to soak up the alcohol and have to leave early and there's nothing to eat

Just do the catering yourself. Sausage rolls.cheese and onion rolls,samosas,quiche. Cheese and a few french sticks.Bowls of crisps. No need for anything fancy. I wouldn't make sandwiches.

What do you plan about drinks? Free bar? Some free drinks and the rest paid by the guest?

Without food people will drink more. With no food to soak up the booze you have an issue at 10-11pm.

As a guest I would be miffed if a friend/relative would consider nibbles enough for a large birthday party, especially a big birthday.

I've been to lots of parties that provided nibbles only. OP have you been to parties like that? If so I think it's fine. I think you'll have to guage what your circle of friends expect, not random people on Mumsnet.

I personally never eat the buffet at a party ever but it is expected by most people. 8/8.30 is quite a late start for a party, it's usually 7/7.30 - 12/12.30 here. The start time alone would put me off to be honest. Could you just do a buffet yourself, my sister can't afford to pay for one so I always help her making one if she's having a party.

Same here. Really no big deal to most people.

Ask people to bring food to share?

We got married as students and did this - fabulous wedding spread. All we had to buy were the paper plates and cutlery.

People in general I've found, care more about the food than the music. Everyone ends up mortal drunk and making tits of themselves if they don't eat.

Then your party gets remembered for Sheila falling down the stairs and needing a lift to casualty.

I personally don't care, it's rare I'll eat from a buffet. But you must be very confident in your turn out to not put food on.

I agree with this. No one will remember if you decide not to have a DJ, but a lot of people will remember if you don't provide food.

It's like inviting people over on Christmas day, but proving no Christmas lunch.
Everyone expects food at a party. Your best option here is to do something on a much smaller scale where you can afford to feed people really. Also, I agree with a Spotify playlist. I find it difficult to chat to people with a DJ or band it's always deafening!

Was the catered quote from the venue ? Will they let you cater yourself ? For my 40th we had a naff 70’s themed beige buffet with things like cheese and pineapple hedgehogs and bowls of monster much etc but everything was really nicely done and hoovered up - got a catering company to do the majority such as the sandwiches and pastries then supplemented with bowls of potato salad , coleslaw

In this case, I wouldnt expect to then also bring a gift.

Agree. If you’re having a casual “drinks in a bar” or “at my house” then not providing food is ok. But you’re doing a “big party” which would make it seem odd not to have any food. I would be surprised at someone shelling out for band or DJ but not food.

I'm going to go against the grain and say it is fine. It really depends on your venue as well, like someone said, most will not let you bring your own food. I wouldn't expect food if it started at 8.30. Call it birthday drinks if you think people will get funny.

As a guest I would go out for early dinner first, then come to yours. I would much prefer that than wait and have a sandwich platter from Costco!