Party - do I have to feed people?

[Dawevi]

I'm having a big party for an upcoming big birthday, hiring a venue and getting a band or DJ but that is quite expensive. I was looking at catering prices and realise that it will push the party into a price bracket that I'm really uncomfortable with. I was wondering if a party starts at 8:00 or 8: 30 do I really need to feed people?

If I was really clear on the invitations to eat before you come (I'm not sure how I would word this, suggestions are welcome please) then do you think people would be okay with that?

For previous big birthdays I have catered but things are different financially now.

Alternatively, I wondered about just providing bowls of nibbles on the tables.

What do you think? If you went to a party would you be cross if you had to you eat before you went?

"Well, I personally wouldn't eat a full meal before a night of dancing and drinking as I wouldn't want to do that on a full stomach."

Whereas I would want to have a full stomach if I was going to be drinking and a bit of dancing is hardly a marathon.
When people go out clubbing, they've usually eaten before haven't they?

Buffet style food definitely (I shouldn’t think anyone expects a dinner type set up). Cheese, crusty bread, pate, crisps, etc.

Clubbing isn’t hosting though.

It was the point made about apparently not being able to dance on a full stomach.

Food is a must.
The most basic is crisps, sausage rolls, cheese straws.
If you can’t afford that, you will have to get a cheaper venue.

Do you think we might be the only country in world that thinks it’s ok not to provide food when hosting a birthday party? Funny lot aren’t we!

I am going to a party next week. Its an annual event. There is no food. People will turn up with alcohol, chat, dance and drink and go home pleased to have met old friends and having had a good time. Its fancy dress. some of us will dress up and the rest of us will admire the costumes and laugh at the cleverness and ingeniousness of our friends. The host will provide some basic drinks. lots of ice and glasses, music and of course the venue. There will be places to dance, or sit and chat both indoors and outdoors (for the covid conscious)
It will be lovely.
Do what you can afford and don't worry. Just let people know what to expect.

HRTFT but I think if you can't afford to feed your guests you can't afford a party.

Yes, the wedding breakfast is the reception, not the evening do

I cannot imagine organising a party if I couldn't afford to provide food. Neither have I ever been to one that doesn't have a buffet. People will be peckish during the evening and like to graze. There's lot of prepared party food you can order from supermarkets.

Don't be mean or else don't have the party.

Do you think no other country in the world has drinks parties/ aperos / cocktail receptions?

I think you’re spending the money in the wrong ways. Sack off the entertainment. Steam Spotify and put that towards food. I think a welcome drink would be customary too. You could hire a community centre and self cater if really tight and ask people BYO booze

But that's at 11pm-midnight, not 8.30 in the evening, lol.

And most of them will have started the night in the pub with drinks and food, then maybe a bar, then finally a club, finishing the night with chips and a kebab! They can't do that in a venue with no food options.

Pretty sure those things have vol au vents and plates of olives and shit like that.

I would expect food of some form. As others have said a large cheese board, grapes, nuts, crackers, antipasti would do it. You could source most of it from Lidl or Aldi. Also if they are real friends, tell everyone to bring a dish of nibbles. You could then do a centre piece of cheese etc? Good luck with your party!

@HelenWheels

jacket potatoes …at a party?!

nah

But they can have the food before they go out and then the party lasts until about midnight or 2am rather than 4am so no need for another meal afterwards.

Other countries have pre dinner drinks. It’s like, an hour, maybe two…with probably some snacks. Not a whole night.

Yes, nibbles, but not necessarily always that many. And on here everyone is telling OP she has to provide curry, chili, etc. and that bowls of crisps aren't good enough.

They can drag on sometimes.

I wouldn't want to eat a full meal and then go straight to drinks and dancing, which is what would be happening here with an 8.30 start, so by 10pm I'd be peckish and by midnight I'd be starving and heading home if there was no food on offer.

But for clubbing, I could eat a full meal beforehand as the dancing wouldn't start for another few hours, giving my stomach time to settle, then I'd grab chips on the way home after.

If OP can afford to drop hundreds of pounds on a venue and a DJ, it makes more sense to hire a cheaper venue, provide music herself and then use the leftovers to spend £200 or so on food.

I'm in another country and if I was invited to a 4 hour party (I'm assuming now seeing as it's only starting at 8 - 8.30pm, which is also a bit unusual for us) I would not be expecting any food.

However, if it was starting earlier in the day (far more likely), that overlapped a meal time, then there would be food. But we do a lot of bring your own, or bring something along type of gatherings.

But yes, the outlook is very different. Nothing is ever assumed. It would always be made clear what the food situation would be.

Depends on the venue imo. In a function room in a pub/social club then yes. In a trendy city centre bar? No.

I’m mid twenties and majority of parties I’ve attended by people my age are in private hire bar spaces in the city centre and don’t have food. The ones that do tend to veer towards dessert tables and candy carts. But instead of food most of them have some kind of Prosecco/cocktail wall meaning guests get a couple of free drinks. So I wouldn’t expect food at one of these but would definitely brief older family members who would expect food.

If I was attending a do at the local rugby club then I’d be a bit shocked that food wasn’t there.

What country?

Bring your own is different as it means there will be food.

This is a birthday party so it’s not unreasonable to think food will be involved. I don’t care about alcohol but I’d expect it to be served at a party, just as I would food.

Party - do I have to feed people?

Nah. Just hand 'em a bib apiece on the way in and tell 'em to mind the carpets, should be o'reight.