Party - do I have to feed people?

[Dawevi]

I'm having a big party for an upcoming big birthday, hiring a venue and getting a band or DJ but that is quite expensive. I was looking at catering prices and realise that it will push the party into a price bracket that I'm really uncomfortable with. I was wondering if a party starts at 8:00 or 8: 30 do I really need to feed people?

If I was really clear on the invitations to eat before you come (I'm not sure how I would word this, suggestions are welcome please) then do you think people would be okay with that?

For previous big birthdays I have catered but things are different financially now.

Alternatively, I wondered about just providing bowls of nibbles on the tables.

What do you think? If you went to a party would you be cross if you had to you eat before you went?

That's just not true. She can afford a drinks party. People can come or not with that information. It wouldn't bother me at all.
A few nibbles like crisps would be fine, but I'd just eat before.

Considering I’m early 30s and I still think it’s bloody rude to invite everyone to an event and not feed them then you’re clearly wrong about the age thing.

It’s just bad manners! Self indulgent. It screams I want everyone to celebrate me, bring me gifts but I can’t be bothered to stick my hand in my pocket and provide some food.

Tight ass.

What's wrong with curry? I served that at my own party 50 people or more. it was all eaten no leftovers

Costco does platters of food.

She hasn’t said she’s providing drinks either

Why won't they eat before if they know they're supposed to?
Why would they be puking on the floor? It doesn't sound like a student party?

Has she said she isn't? I presume she'll buy some drinks and there'll be drinks available at least.
I often have and go to drinks parties. There's nothing wrong with that.

100% agree

Only thing worse is the suggestion to make chilli

So you're also against people going to a restaurant with friends for their birthday unless they pay for it all? Or going to the pub?

She's putting her money on hiring a band and fancy venue and expecting people to buy their own food and drink.

It's the difference between:

Come to my party to celebrate my birthday, normal expectations would be drinks and food provided.

Come to a bar for some drinks to celebrate my birthday, normal expectations would be buy own drinks and no food provided.

You need to decide which you are doing.

@Wexone not everyone likes curry. It's a nightmare to eat it from paper plates. I don't want to smell like curry all night.

Weddings are different because food is expected and people sometimes travel quite far for them.
A party for local friends just in the evening is totally different.

I think a lot depends on whether your guests are local or travelling to it

I would be fine with no food for a local party but would pass on travelling to a party with no food provided

Unless you want them all to get smashed

My friend had a big birthday party at a pub with DJ and disco. We’d travelled a long way and thought there might be some finger food and at least a welcome drink.

We were pointed to the bar for drinks where it was obvious we’d have to buy our own. Then shown the menu with £20 burgers. There was nothing on the invite to indicate the food arrangement , nor anything mentioned beforehand - it started at 7 pm and we arrived with a card and present. We were very annoyed, as were a lot of the other guests.

So yes - you should provide food at a party

My 40th was a few years ago, but I could only afford hall hire and the disco. I put on the invitiations "please note that there won't be any food at the party". There was a paid bar, which is the norm (around here anyway).

My friends and family all came because they were there to celebrate my birthday, not to eat sausage rolls.

Hopefully your friends and family are decent people too.

I'd just word the invitation as drinks and dancing or whatever it is. I wouldn't really expect food then, but you could just add 'eat before you come' or something just to be sure. It wouldn't bother me but I do notice that on MN particularly, people seem to get offended about parties and weddings if they don't feel they've getting their proper 'value' as a guest. Personally I just want to go stuff because I love and care for the people who invited me. I'm not really bothered if they don't provide food, I'd just eat before I went (which I would do for a party starting at 8.30 anyway).

I don't like the attitude that if you can't afford the exact setup that random MN user3006 deems appropriate then you shouldn't have a party at all. But then our friend group is relaxed, we like each other and, shock horror, we sometimes go out for birthdays and everyone pays for their own meal and is happy to do so.

Much more to do with class background imo. Of course, everyone will deny that.

I had curry and a beef stew on offer. there was rice and chips too plus salads snd bread. it was at home so half in and half out so no smells. wasn't on paper plates it it served on proper Delph. it always goes down well at any party I have been at. its hard to cater for everyone but there is a reason why curry is offered alot of the time.

Of course they're not any different! A party is a party, whether it's a wedding or birthday party, and where the done thing is to provide music and food.

I think it depends on the venue you have booked and the guests.

My local bar has regular 40th and 50th parties in the upstairs bar and nobody ever has food. I've been to quite a few of them and it's a great night out, a chance for friends who are no longer regular pub goers to meet up, catch up and have a dance.

Sandwich platters or slices of quiche would totally not fit. I'm usually all for the nicer points of hosting, but some styles of party don't necessarily need food.

Definitely need to provide food!
I don’t normally eat until 8 pm anyway so wouldn’t have had my tea if it’s an 8.30 start. I wouldn’t want to eat a big meal before going out and dancing anyway, so would likely have a snack around 4 and expect a buffet at the party around 9.
You can do a nice buffet pretty cheaply.

And I don't think I'm that unusual. My work department voted to get rid of the food part of our Xmas do in favour of more money behind the bar for drinks and we range from mid-20s to 60s! We haven't done food for a few years now.

It’s perfectly fine to decide to get together and go to a bar for drinks to celebrate but if it’s being called a party then yes I would expect food. If you can’t afford to feed people(but can somehow afford a band) then just arrange to meet at a bar/restaurant/club.