Party - do I have to feed people?

[Dawevi]

I'm having a big party for an upcoming big birthday, hiring a venue and getting a band or DJ but that is quite expensive. I was looking at catering prices and realise that it will push the party into a price bracket that I'm really uncomfortable with. I was wondering if a party starts at 8:00 or 8: 30 do I really need to feed people?

If I was really clear on the invitations to eat before you come (I'm not sure how I would word this, suggestions are welcome please) then do you think people would be okay with that?

For previous big birthdays I have catered but things are different financially now.

Alternatively, I wondered about just providing bowls of nibbles on the tables.

What do you think? If you went to a party would you be cross if you had to you eat before you went?

I have been following along op and I think your mind was made up from the get go, if you don’t think food is important then don’t do it.
I have planned many parties it’s something I love to do and I personally always provide food. Even when we had a club night with all the dance music from our younger years we still had a buffet. People get hungry, food is a perk of a party and it helps soak up the alcohol.
I personally agree with everyone who feels that if you can’t afford food then you can’t afford a party.

Wow. I don't think I'm the one who knocked my toe on the bedpost. 😂

Your assumptions about my character are amusing but wrong. My friendships go back to primary school, partly because we show up for each other and it's not transactional. You on the other hand apparently aren't willing to leave your 'nice warm comfy house' unless there's something in it for you.

And as for have I ever been to a party with no food... 😂😂😂Your 'definition' of a party is very subjective and not how everyone views parties, nor how everyone socialises, as you'll have gathered if you've read many of the responses on this thread.

@Pinkyandperkyofyesteryear

so you only ever leave your “nice warm comfy house” if you’re gonna get fed?!
maybe just stay home

Yea but people ears crisps in a pub, and then the obligatory cheesy chips or whatnot after a club night out. People are starving after alcohol.

@LadyGabriella

not everybody is “starving” after alcohol , speak for yourself!

Alcohol factually drops blood sugar and electrolyte levels. Speak for yourself only.

@LadyGabriella

maybe but there’s a big difference between that and “starving”

basically a couple of bowls of crisps and nuts will do, OP doesn’t need to be providing full meals or anything like that. I would prefer free drinks over free food but I wouldn’t let either deter me from going to a party and having a really good time

If you invite people to gather for a celebration and don't provide refreshments, it's not a party, it's a meeting, a public forum, a flash mob.

Definition of a party : a social gathering of invited guests typically involving eating drinking and entertainment.

She just wants to feel like she’s right even if she is too tight to feed her guests.

Or maybe she and her friends have other priorities besides stuffing their faces.

I'm sure some of her friends will.

I just don't see how the young kids will behave when they're not being fed, they're staying up late at some kind of quasi-gig and everyone is just dancing. They're going to be hangry and tired, which generally results in a meltdown.

The OP's main problem is her event is trying to be too many things at the same time. It's either a family-friendly event or if it's a music gig for her mates the same age.

Surely their parents will have made sure they've eaten before they go out?

I dunno, we partied hard in the 90s, our parties went on for days and no one ate anything!

Admittedly we were all high as kites, but that didn't stop it being a party. Some bloody brilliant parties too. Parties on boats, in quarries, in the middle of the woods. We were brought together by a love of music and dancing. No food needed.

Those days are over, but there are still plenty of people out there who prioritise music and dancing over food for an evening event.

Some people on this thread have a very narrow idea of what a party is.

At it's core, a party is a celebration / bringing together of people to have fun. How you do that is open to interpretation.

Similar with parties in the 80s. It just wasn't really about food, there might be some, but it wasn't the main focus as it seems to be these days. You had your evening meal before going out, more often than not, so it wasn't even relevant. Partly why I'm bemused by how fixated on food at parties some pps seem to be, although obviously I realise times change. It just feels superfluous to me, and definitely not a reason why I would attend/not attend a party.

But in your original post you stated a “big party!”
what you’ve then gone on to describe is not a party it’s more of a “gathering” surely?
you asked opinions on having a party without food? The majority of people have replied on that basis.
just because their idea of a party appears to be different to yours that doesn’t mean they don’t like having fun or anything else that you’ve now brought into the equation. You’ve drip fed.
if I was going to a party, yes I would expect food there, to me that’s what a party is. However initially had you said you wanted to have what you’ve since
suggested then no I probably wouldn’t expect food. I love concerts and band events. If I’m going to a concert then i would probably eat at a venue on the way there or on the way back. It’s a totally different type of event. I think you’ve confused and then judged people as not your kind of person or miserable.

If you want a party and you want to feed people, you'll find that's the cheapest option. As others have said - you don't throw a party and give nothing. The other option, as I said, was potluck which IS inexpensive as everyone pays for one dish, so yeah - cheap as chips! 😊

Fine, but were there kids there playing board games too, like the OP is expecting?

I have not mentioned board games, there will not be board games. And there will be max two teens and three slightly younger children.

@Dawevi This was from one of your posts:

There will be some children there so I was going to put some games out for people to play with, so there will be something to do, and people will be able to chat as I'll make sure the band is not too loud (I'm old enough to like to chat without shouting myself).

Ok, maybe not a board game but games? you've now clarified on the number of kids and the ages but from the original post it was unclear how this event was going to come together

Yes what I call table games like pass the pigs, we have a buzz wire game and a magnetic pebbles thing which is simple, the kind of thing it would be fun to play drunk! 😂

I'd be absolutely happy to come along and pay for my own drink and very happy with some light nibbles - but could equally cope with buying Frazzles from the bar. Especially if I'd been given a heads up that that was the plan. A good band and some dancing sounds brilliant.

Still wondering how that fits with the kids but you have a vision for the day - have fun!

How what fits? Games?

You're inviting people to celebrate with you, there'll be kids there, you're not providing refreshments.

Enjoy your party because I can't imagine anyone will come to your next do .

@crockofshite

lol I bet they do! A good band and dancing?! What’s not to like. Not everyone is so food focused