Party - do I have to feed people?

[Dawevi]

I'm having a big party for an upcoming big birthday, hiring a venue and getting a band or DJ but that is quite expensive. I was looking at catering prices and realise that it will push the party into a price bracket that I'm really uncomfortable with. I was wondering if a party starts at 8:00 or 8: 30 do I really need to feed people?

If I was really clear on the invitations to eat before you come (I'm not sure how I would word this, suggestions are welcome please) then do you think people would be okay with that?

For previous big birthdays I have catered but things are different financially now.

Alternatively, I wondered about just providing bowls of nibbles on the tables.

What do you think? If you went to a party would you be cross if you had to you eat before you went?

Of course you have to provide some food! You’re going all out on everything else so it just seems stingy to penny pinch here… having said that, it doesn’t need to be 3 courses.. nibbles (which aren’t just crisps and nuts, but more like pizza) would be enough. People definitely will talk otherwise,

Happy birthday btw!

Mmm, sausage rolls! 😋

Food yes but NOT Costco stuff
please. It’s horrible. Why don’t t you just have a smaller party if that’s all you can afford. I don’t t think it’s fair to invite people then expect them to provide their own drinks and food. But you know your guests so they may be ok with it as they may be aware of your changes financial
so will understand your rationale.

Clearly in the minority here but I would be delighted with live music and a bar. Certainly wouldn’t expect food. I guess it depends on age group, geography ?

That sounds perfect to me.

I've been to parties where there have just been some crisps on the table then somewhere between 9.00pm and 10pm a great big pot of stovies gets brought out and everything stops for 20 minutes while we have our fill of stovies. Others have a pot of chilli or lentil soup. It doesn't have to be fancy.

Cheap as chips 🤣

I think you need food, I’m afraid.

Supermarkets like M&S and Morrisons do food platters with sandwiches, wraps, charcuterie platters etc. Order in some of those and do a run around with a trolley to get other snacks, cakes, desserts and salads. Far cheaper than a caterer.

It really depends on your friends!

In my friendship group, people are into music and most would absolutely prioritise music over food, especially for a party that starts at 8:30pm.

The way I see it, a band is much more entertaining than sandwiches!

I'm not saying others don't prioritise food - it's plain from this thread that many do - but these blanket declarations that it's wrong to prioritise entertainment over food for an evening event are missing that not everyone thinks like that. And the OP knows her friends better than any of us.

What kind of gigs / clubs are you going to? None of the ones I've ever been to provide food beyond perhaps bar snacks like crisps, other than large stadium gigs. Certainly not live bands in pubs.

I've never, not once, gone out with friends to see music and had a meal in the venue.

This.

Why reinvent the wheel?

It sounds like you simply can’t afford to host a party - it’s a pipe dream.

I wouldn’t expect a multi-course dinner at this set up, but I would expect something to eat to eat if alcohol is involved. So bar snacks, chips, burgers sort of thing. You can’t expect people to party with you and use an on site bar, but simultaneously not consume anything to reduce the side effects of alcohol. That’s a recipe for disaster.

I think you need to put yourself in the shoes of your guests before yourself in all this. It sounds like the set up you’re planning is going to be inconvenient for guests. They’re already going to have to pay for drinks on site, which will is likely going to be inflated costs/overpriced as it’s a private event. Have you checked how much they are planning to charge guests for drinks? Then throw in the lack of food and it starts to seem like a faff.

I'm going to go against the grain and say it's okay - as long as you tell people in advance! Some will probably be a little disappointed, but if it's a dealbreaker for them they won't come!

I'd personally try to cut back on other areas (it sounds like you finding it difficult to find a reasonably priced venue, though). We recently held a party for my parents golden wedding for about 90 people. The local golf club had free room hire and - unusually - allowed us to do our own catering. Most of the food was from Sainsbury's but we shopped around and got some bits from M&S, Tesco, Costco etc. It would have cost about £800 for the food, DJ and decorations, but when I went to pick up the Sainsbury's order it wasn't there!!!! 😱So they allowed me to do a trolley dash (for free) and refunded the cost of the pre-order....

Am finding the responses weird. I had big parties in clubs / bars throughout my life and never provided food. Last one was my 50th. I put money behind the bar for drinks and told people there wouldn’t be food unless they wanted to order it themselves. Had a DJ and entertainment which I paid for. It went down fine.

Either do like your friend and ask ppl living locally to get some pot luck food or buy baguettes and ready made fillings (so easy to prepare and go a long way), cheese sticks, hummous and other dips and plenty of veggie sticks plus grissini, cheese and onion rolls and sausage rolls, IKEA style meat balls, chicken goujons, cheese platters, jalapeño bites, fruit platters, guacamole, salsa and tortilla chips, supermarket pizza if there’s an oven, some more vegan food, eclairs bought frozen from a supermarket and a cake. You could also do an alcoholic punch. Depending on how many people you’re feeding, you’d get all that for 300. You could also have a look at M&S party food platters. They have ready made sandwiches for example instead of the baguettes. You do need something to soak up the alcohol.

An u order pizzas in to the venue?

You are spending 2k and worried about food....what about people who can't spend £50 a week to feed their family, I'm sorry, but this makes no sense

Can some people genuinely not conceive of an evening out without a meal being involved?

Some responses on this thread are so depressing. It feels like some people can only be arsed turning out to celebrate with friends if there's something in it for them. Namely something they can put in their stomachs. When did friendships get so transactional?

@JazzyBazzy79

of course it is. Food isn’t needed at parties

There seems to be this weird idea on here that people are gonna absolutely pissed without vats of chilli, curry, burgers and chips to eat! This is just not the case. People don’t want all that at a drinks party

Nah.

Can you not ask family and friends to help by making up food for you, that's what my family did for my niece's 18th birthday party. They ended up with so much food, my sons drove around looking for homeless people, to hand out food to them. Any food that wasn't in good condition or still wrapped up, was just thrown out.

Don't ever go to a party, pub quiz, funeral or other event in Lancashire. Rejecting a pie and pea supper will have you suspected of witchcraft.

@sashh

well I mean I get it at those type of events. But an evening drinks party… it’s not about pie and peas

Ask a few friends if they'd be willing to help you prepare the food in the afternoon. If you don't want to do a buffet then borrow slow cookers or big pans from friends & do curries & chili with plenty of rice & nan breads. with bowls of snacks on each table it will be enough.