Party - do I have to feed people?

[Dawevi]

I'm having a big party for an upcoming big birthday, hiring a venue and getting a band or DJ but that is quite expensive. I was looking at catering prices and realise that it will push the party into a price bracket that I'm really uncomfortable with. I was wondering if a party starts at 8:00 or 8: 30 do I really need to feed people?

If I was really clear on the invitations to eat before you come (I'm not sure how I would word this, suggestions are welcome please) then do you think people would be okay with that?

For previous big birthdays I have catered but things are different financially now.

Alternatively, I wondered about just providing bowls of nibbles on the tables.

What do you think? If you went to a party would you be cross if you had to you eat before you went?

I would make it very clear on your invite that you don't serve any food and drinks have to be paid by the guest.

Thay may actually mean you could try to get a smaller venue as I could imagine people may not bother then.

Why not shelve the whole thing, annouce that you will go to a club with live music, ask your friends to come and you may pay for the first drink.
You get the music you want and save money.

I don’t really drink either so I’d be having the soft drinks or I’d bring my own non alcoholic beer (which has improved a lot). Although to be honest I’m one of those MNers who really hate parties nowadays.

A quick bit of googling suggest that a mobile bar is somewhere between £300 and £600. Scrap the bar, make it a BYOB party, with you getting glass hire from Sainsburys or Tesco, and spend the bar money on food. Sorted.

I decided to google the definition of a party and it’s “a social gathering of invited guests, typically involving eating, drinking and entertainment”.

So yes you can have a party without food but it’s not typical.

A party without food is a party I don’t want to go to 😁

Whatever you do don’t get people to bring food. Tacky, messy, lots of stuff to bin at the end because people don’t want to look tight.

The most straightforward way to provide food would probably be to order pizza as pp have said. Kids will eat it and you can get vegan ones. So build that into the budget and get your own alcohol and soft drinks plus bottle opener and you're sorted. No prep to do other than putting the order in.

@BunnyLake

why?

Solution - don't call it a party!

No, it comes free as long as there's a minimum spend which works out quite low per head so it would be ok BUT...

I feel a bit stupid for not having thought that I might be able to take our own drinks! I'm going to check with the venue and find out as I could get some beers and wine in for sure.

The main issue is the venues are so expensive and I don't know why! They don't give you anything except a room but they are all the same cost except one which is so small and a terrible shape so it would be horrible to have more than about 20 people in it.

I've also got another venue I'm looking at tomorrow, I haven't booked anything yet so I can still keep looking, I'm just running out of places to try because I didn't want people to travel here then have to get a taxi to a venue so I'm trying to keep it really local plus I don't want to have to clean up at the end.

I'm now thinking along the lines of substantial nibbles, so more than crisps but not a full buffet, and only stuff I can cook beforehand or buy in.

What food like that would you want to eat? Would this work:
Mini sausages
Chicken goujons
Nice bread
Cheese
Dips
Tortilla crisps
(And vegan versions)

Or I like the idea of seeing if a local Indian could do samosa, etc (my dad won't eat that though!)

I promise I'm listening but I definitely want a pub gig feel and I know people will eat beforehand especially if I tell them to. I just wish I could find a cheaper venue.

I don't suppose after party cleaners are a thing? If so there's a few boat clubs I could look into.

Have you tried local rugby clubs? They often have decent club houses that they will hire out.

What about a church hall? And byob but provide some booze?

If the venue has a kitchen, can you wrangle a few people into bringing some puddings and then buy a load of bread, crackers, cheese and maybe cooker a ham?

It wouldn't add a crazy amount to the cost and if the place has a kitchen you would probably be able to set that all out okay.

Or say "please don't bring a gift but it would be great if you can bring something sweet/savoury"?

Edit: ahah, I think you're going down the route I would have.

If you can bring your own booze that's even better!

That food sounds fine, assuming you'll have a cake or something sweet too?

Indian food suppliers is an awesome idea. Way forward with numbers and cost should be competitive.

Id ask about corkage if you're taking your own alcohol. Some of them charge.

I'm amazed at the controversy this has caused! I've already said my bit (it's fine to not provide food), and maybe it all has something to do with what we've experienced in the past.

OP, you know your guests better than us. Do what works for you and them.

If you’re allowed an outside bar then I’m sure it’ll be fine to BYO.

There is no bar there to charge it but otherwise it’s a good point.

The food you've suggested sounds fine - don't do anything that needs cooking first. I agree with others that you should have something sweet too - cupcakes or a couple of big cakes.

I'm getting a mobile bar in. And no I'm not paying for the drinks - this is basically a private pub set up, I've never been to a party or do where I didn't buy my own drinks.

Hopefully the venue is licenced.

M and a party sandwich platters are great and affordable.
I would say 'drinks and snacks' or 'drinks and canapes' so people know to have dinner.
And put out crips carrot sticks etc too

I don’t drink alcohol and I’ve long forgotten how to dance (not keen anyway). Without a plate of food in my hand I’d be twiddling my thumbs. I don’t like parties nowadays anyway, I went to more than enough before I had kids.

It’s a birthday party though not a casual meet up in a pub. If it’s your own party surely you find the energy.

@Dawevi

If you are looking at doing your own drinks instead of the mobile bar, Majestic do Sale or Return, and I think glass hire as well.

Nah sorry
Even if you don't eat, there's gotta be food there