Party - do I have to feed people?

[Dawevi]

I'm having a big party for an upcoming big birthday, hiring a venue and getting a band or DJ but that is quite expensive. I was looking at catering prices and realise that it will push the party into a price bracket that I'm really uncomfortable with. I was wondering if a party starts at 8:00 or 8: 30 do I really need to feed people?

If I was really clear on the invitations to eat before you come (I'm not sure how I would word this, suggestions are welcome please) then do you think people would be okay with that?

For previous big birthdays I have catered but things are different financially now.

Alternatively, I wondered about just providing bowls of nibbles on the tables.

What do you think? If you went to a party would you be cross if you had to you eat before you went?

Seriously???

There is absolutely no need to get catered sandwiches

Im one of the ones who said I couldn't host and not provide food. That was hours ago before the OP came back and updated ( I still havent changed my mind, I would always provide food )

OP, inviting people for a night of dancing in a paid bar is fine, just say nibbles will be provided and nibbles are fine, just make sure you have loads

For drinks here I offer up posh nuts, posh crisps and whatever posh looking nibbles are around. So I will have bowls of cashews, fruit and nuts, Doritos , crinkle crisps , cheesy bites etc, bowls of them all scattered around with refills to hand , its so easy for one person to mindlessly nibble if they arent dancing. Cheese cubes are also good - just find a selection of hard and medium hard cheese and cut into cubes and throw into bowls. Olives and stuffed peppers are also popular in my circles , baby cabochons , silver skin onions

Food which you can put into bowls, on tables, with a stack of small serviettes - jobs a goodun as long as the invite says a night of music , dance and drinks - or words to that effect. Party says to too many people, food

I would definitely go, AND I would be very pleased that you had been clear about what to expect. The worst is not knowing whether there will or won't be proper food. Light snacks are fine.

This is assuming the party starts at 8pm or later, as you are planning. I'd be taken aback to be invited for a party any earlier than that - i.e. at dinnertime - without an actual meal.

OP

What about a Jacob's join? Sometimes known as a Pot luck supper so everyone brings something.

Re the Indian food, sweet centres near me do samosas for 25p each, if you are buying in bulk you can negotiate on price.

By the way, if you are vegan, I think it would be fine for all the food to be vegan versions like sausage rolls etc. People will eat if they’re hungry. You do need to provide some food, but you don’t need to be buying chicken goujons if you don’t want to. When I’m round my vegan friends house I eat their vegan food.

So many vegans I know have more polite families than mine! I offered to go to my parents and cook for the whole family, on one of my birthdays, including starters mains and desserts, and cake-but I wouldn't cook any meat.
My Dad said not only would he not come, he'd also decline doing the whole thing and I'd have to host my birthday elswhere.

Fine maybe if you think they just didn't want me to 'play host' in their own house, but the whole thing came from them saying they 'wouldn't' want to go out somewhere else' and 'couldn't we have the party here'.

I understand that there are exceptions (dietary reasons, the very elderly etc) but none of that, just a grumpy not that old man who apparently cannot possibly survive one meal without meat.

That’s such a shame. I have noticed myself with my parents if I point out something is vegan, my dad will be put off it. Also if I point out something like McDonald’s chips being vegan, they don’t believe it. Again I’m not vegan myself but have nothing against the food and my good friend is vegan so I’ve got to know some brands and dishes. Meatless farm did a great mince but it’s seems to not be available any more. Anyway I wonder if it might be partly to do with them being of the older generation, and sadly probably won’t see their views any other way.

If you're going to do that please let people know. I can't eat mushrooms, chickpeas or lentils and avoid Quorn type food. I'd want to know so I could eat beforehand in case there wasn't much I could eat.

Yes lentils and chickpeas are both very common allergens

Not saying anyone has to cater for every dietary need but it's important to be aware.

I think scrapping the bar and getting guests to bring their own drinks but then putting £200 towards laying on some food is the way to go here.

I would be totally fine with "live music, nibbles, BYOB" on a party invite

Have you considered pie and peas? Always a popular choice where I live especially in colder months. It doesn't work out that much a head compared with doing your own buffet and it's all done for you.

No. but then I do quite enjoy a bowl of crisps or nuts on a table

It depends where it is. I went to a 50th in a function room above a pub earlier this year. There were only small bowls of pretzels on the tables. I didn't mind at all! I'm not sure I'd expect food. (There was tables behind the bar though.)

@Waffle78

ewww no! Who wants to go to a party all dressed up and eat stodgy stuff like pie and peas?! People want prosecco, cocktails and maybe canapés at a party!

I once went to a party with no food. Everyone was asking everyone else what time the food was coming out. When it didn't, people gradually left.

Food is generally expected OP. It doesn't have to be a banquet.

Can you and the family cater? They all bring x, y, z from home? I've done this.

If you are in the UK the big supermarkets like Sainsburys do platters and party food which is much more affordable than a price her head menu. You would need to collect it and take to venue.

They obviously were not told clearly in the beginning!

Why not ask a local food van (fish and chips or burger etc) if they want to attend and feed pay goers in the car park, who can then take the food into the venue. Everyone buys their own, but it's in situ. You could make it clear on the invite

It’s absolutely fine. It’s a dancing party not a dinner party after all. Put bowls of nibbles out and don’t scrimp on the amount of these. Just to nibble whilst drinking.

People on this post sound so privileged…

…‘if you can’t afford food you can’t afford to host a party’ 😳😂

It’s your party, you do what you want and what you can afford. Mention on the invitation that there won’t be any food, or suggest people bring a plate… if that puts anyone off coming to your party, then they aren’t very good friends

No wonder we have an obesity crisis if people can’t manage more than a few hours after 9pm without eating?!

OMG what is wrong with people?

It's YOUR party, so you can do it your way! So long as you make it clear to people they need to eat beforehand, it's fine! 8.30 would be too late for dinner anyway!! I love a party, and a band and a boogie. Just make it clear, I went to a 40th recently where the invite said "have your tea before you come... Cash bar" and it was AWESOME. The people is the most important thing!

But it just used to be nibbles, not a full-on spread. A few decades ago people used to have something to eat before they went to parties, not expect the equivalent of an evening meal at whatever function they went to (unless it was a dinner party, obviously). Personally I preferred it that way.

I've been to a party at that time before. No food and it was fine. At that time of night, people should have eaten.

With Red Cabbage! Popular here too, You can get trays of the pie from Booths.

OK, I live in Cornwall, but 'pasties at 10pm' always goes down well. The local pasty shop delivers! The samosas sound nice but otherwise your list of nibbles sounds fine to me. If there are bowls on each table, I think that’s fine. Have you looked at M&S party platters? Or what about the local chip van calling round? Or is your area too posh for one of those?