Party - do I have to feed people?

[Dawevi]

I'm having a big party for an upcoming big birthday, hiring a venue and getting a band or DJ but that is quite expensive. I was looking at catering prices and realise that it will push the party into a price bracket that I'm really uncomfortable with. I was wondering if a party starts at 8:00 or 8: 30 do I really need to feed people?

If I was really clear on the invitations to eat before you come (I'm not sure how I would word this, suggestions are welcome please) then do you think people would be okay with that?

For previous big birthdays I have catered but things are different financially now.

Alternatively, I wondered about just providing bowls of nibbles on the tables.

What do you think? If you went to a party would you be cross if you had to you eat before you went?

Parties, social events and other get-togethers have always involved food.

It's the same if someone expresses the need to eat at a wedding
They always " gobble, gorge or cram food in" according to MN
🤣

Oh.. and don't call it a party, just say what it is, Live music and bar ☺️

Yes! This ^^😃

I think it's totally fine. I did this for a big birthday earlier this year. I had a free bar all night & DJ but no food. I just sent it invites saying drinks & dancing 8-12. People are happy to eat before they come.

I think everyone on mumsnet must have been to a mass catered buffet for a funeral / work do etc where we might as well have been eating cardboard. Of course buffets can be curated with all sorts of delights but that's normally when they are the focus of the gathering rather than just being put on because people expect one when the real reason to be there that night is for OP to let her hair down and have a dance.

When hosting I am normally an overcaterer. The amount of food that gets binned at UKs kids parties alone is incredibly wasteful. No wonder obesity in the country is going up if everytime we go to a social occasion we expect further food (even if we've already eaten.)

OPs addressed the children issue and there will only be her own plus her best friends and she said they don't need specific catering.

OP isn't even providing drinks.

It's the same if someone expresses the need to eat at a wedding
They always " gobble, gorge or cram food in" according to MN

You’re right. It’s the same on threads about people eating on a train or at the cinema. No one(At least according to the oh so perfect OPs) ever eats food like a normal human being.

That's not at all comparable though because you actually hosted in some way by providing a free bar. The OP is providing a room and some music and that's it. No food and no drinks unless the guests wish to pay for them at the completely unnecessary and likely very expensive brought in bar.

I really doubt the UKs obesity problem is because Auntie Mary had a mini sausage roll and a slice of cake at a family knees up!

Sorry you don't have articulate, fun, friends who make normal, light hearted, fun conversation @Artistbythewater but that doesn't mean other people don't.

Has anyone suggested DJ Dave and a Morrison's platter yet?

*I really doubt the UKs obesity problem is because Auntie Mary had a mini sausage roll and a slice of cake at a family knees up!

Exactly. Especially considering that food at a party has been a thing for millennia now. It’s hardly a new phenomenon.

What about not bothering with hiring a bar do it as byob and use that money for food

God no wonder the French laugh at us
Why are some people so food avoidant but also so obtuse 😂
I bloody love food but also exercise
Cheap horrible food no but mmmm lovely bread, cheese and ham with pickles salad and BUTTER.

I can hear the clatter of teeny tiny bones as they all faint in shock 😆

I think it wouldn't go down well to give them NOTHING. But as a guest, I'd be fine with drinks and nibbles, rather than a cooked dinner, so long as I knew in advance.

I'd rather have food served than live music for a party. I like to be able to talk to my friends! It's like going to a gig!

It’s absolutely fine not to provide food. Just say drinks for my birthday … you can put Crisps and dips out… people don’t expect to be fed at a party with a dj.

So you're spending £2k on a hiring an empty room, a band and a mobile bar and you are not providing guests with any food or drink

Sorry OP but this is sounding genuinely bizarre to me.

Why didn't you just arrange for you and your friends to out to a gig and then on for drinks in a bar and then have a seperate family meal?

It’s fine to have a budget but what you want (live band, 70 people etc) doesn’t fit your budget for a half decent party.
You've made it clear the music is more important than your guests having a good time and to host them properly. Why don’t you just get concert tickets for yourself and a couple of good friends and have a blast for that amount (or much less)?

No food OR drinks provided is poor. You're basically paying for them to be in a room with the band. Hope the band are good.

I did 80 people for under £230. Went to Iceland. Wasn't m&s quality but got loads for my money . Hardly any waste

I'd prob leave by 9.30pm if no food

No ones gonna have a good time if they're hungry/ peckish either

I would very happily go for "just a drink" to celebrate a friend's birthday (but I would definitely appreciate a heads up to make sure I ate first!)

The again, I've never understood all these rules. If you booked a table at a restaurant, then the norm would be for everyone else to pay for themselves AND ALSO cover your meal as well!

I keep changing my mind on this one. I think it's probably better to just have nibbles (and make this clear on the invites) and cake and then you're not going to waste food. If people see nibbles on the invites, they'll know to eat first.