Party - do I have to feed people?

[Dawevi]

I'm having a big party for an upcoming big birthday, hiring a venue and getting a band or DJ but that is quite expensive. I was looking at catering prices and realise that it will push the party into a price bracket that I'm really uncomfortable with. I was wondering if a party starts at 8:00 or 8: 30 do I really need to feed people?

If I was really clear on the invitations to eat before you come (I'm not sure how I would word this, suggestions are welcome please) then do you think people would be okay with that?

For previous big birthdays I have catered but things are different financially now.

Alternatively, I wondered about just providing bowls of nibbles on the tables.

What do you think? If you went to a party would you be cross if you had to you eat before you went?

cheese and crisps on a table nicely put out - do it yourself from M and S -

This is very sensible advice for an adults only event and would work fine.

The problem is the children - they can't be expected to stretch to no food and you won't be able to say, back off it's just for the kids, to the others if you put some out for them.

Tell your friends to BYOB, provide some nibbles, pack the kiddies off on a sleepover and you can have a great event with the least stress, seriously.

This has to be a windup - £1k on a room with no bar, another £1k on a band and no booze or food? 👋

Yeah my thoughts exactly. You’re better putting some speakers and a Spotify playlist with some food and drink!!

You definitely need to have food .

That is crazy - you can usually get a free room if you spend at the bar.

I would be fine not having much food as long as I aware to eat beforehand. But it would be nice to have something, even if it was just nibbles or a bowl of chips. People will get hungry during the night and want something, but it can be something simple and inexpensive.

I know!!!!!

IT IS NOT ALL ABOUT THE FOOD, PEOPLE!!

You want a party with a live band, only drinks and include children? Who will want to bring children to this?
i am sorry you have budget of 1K for a band but can’t feed your guests snacks or nibbles? Your priorities are wrong and people will get plastered or leave early.

That's crazy ..I wouldn't bother going to a party with no food and no booze ..why not just all meet at a pub ,or hire a room in a pub ,save some money and people can buy food and drinks ..but really you should be providing both ..
It's rude not to

@Dawevi I think you probably should have posted the details of the party first and then asked for suggestions for easy, cheap, cold, mostly vegan nibbles to go with the band and bar. I can’t understand how so many people seem to think an evening party must include a full meal!
I’d come, with my kids, buy my drinks, dance to the band and enjoy seeing you. And if there happened to be some vegan sausage rolls and a couple of bowls of crisps on offer, I’ll happily tuck in. (Otherwise, I’ll buy couple of bags of peanuts from the bar at some point!)

No booze either?! 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Exactly.

If they are chatting / drinking and dancing people can totally manage from 8.30-11.30pm without shovelling food! If the party is in a sports club or similar they will expect to pay for drinks at the bar. I've only really experienced free bars at weddings / work dos or parties held at home.

I agree that BYOB would be better but then OP has to source and clear up all the glasses /recycling etc and she just wants to rock up enjoy a few hours with friends and head home without collecting and washing 200 glasses

A friend had a 90s covers band for a big bday and it was a great night. Yes some people who aren't into bands probably left earlier but the evenings success wasn't reliant on whether there was a tray of congealed triangle sandwiches on offer.

Huh. Surprised by most of these answers. I went to a 50th recently in a bar that started at 8.30pm and there was no food - apart from cake. There was Prosecco when we arrived and that was it. We bought our own drinks after that. It was a fun night, and I didn't give it a second thought.
Other 50ths in the same group have included catered house parties, fully paid for restaurant dinners, garden parties and several at home with wine and sausage rolls heated up and handed round by teenagers. All have been fun.

“I'm in a very expensive small town in the South East, there's no room for hire for £300 here unfortunately. I wish there was! I've looked everywhere. I don't want everyone to have to get a taxi to a village hall out in the sticks.“

but you are fine not serving drinks or food?

I don’t believe that, I also live in the South East and halls around here are £300-£500.

I think this depends on people's attitudes to what a "party" is.
OP's was my idea of a party in my 20s.
Now at 50 a good party to me is nice food and wine, a great chat and having a laugh with my friends. Maybe a bit of dancing but not all night and definitely not a band that no-one can hear over!

I find that pretty strange too.

Yes, I know things are, on the whole, more expensive in the SE than most of the Country, but needing to pay £1K for a room seems incredibly unlikely.
Surely you have cricket clubs, rugby clubs, British Legions, Golf Clubs and other social clubs even if you don't have a village hall or a working men's club.

Just read OP's latest update – so it’s a hall (for £1,000 - gasp) and she’s bringing in a mobile bar? Why not just scrap that element, buy a load of bottles and ask ppl to bring a bottle as well?

You could corral a few close mates to be on the food committee and ask for xyz things from them. Everyone else brings an £8 bottle of wine. You provide £300 of wine and soft drinks. Then people can come to a party, listen to the music, have a dance, have a drink and some food. And it's only cost them the price of a bottle of wine.

The way it is atm you’re inviting people to a big room with some great music where they can buy their own drinks (for £££ no doubt) and not eat anything. Hmmm.

To add to my comments
Your ..op ....your thinking of what you want for your birthday
Your not thinking of the comfort of your guests..you need bottles of wine on tables and some beers as a minimum,then people buy their own after .and if you look for a pub with a room to hire ,they would cater some food to start things of ,but also give people the option to buy more if hungry.. honestly you have your priorities all wrong

It's the same as going to the pub? Only it's private. Don't you go to pubs for people's birthdays?

I was going to suggest a hog roast also, as a second option. I used to run events for a social housing association and they work out surprisingly cheaply and are very popular- but now see that is out of the question.

Agree it would have been more helpful if you had stated the parameters at the outset.

This isn't much better than OPs plan, she's not even willing to pay for food so she's not going to add in £££ for alcohol too. And why should a few select friends pay for the food rather than asking everyone to bring their own? What if they don't drink wine? Why £8?

£1000 for room hire is insane, wherever you are.

I don't think you can compare meeting up down the pub with attending a private function.