Party - do I have to feed people?

[Dawevi]

I'm having a big party for an upcoming big birthday, hiring a venue and getting a band or DJ but that is quite expensive. I was looking at catering prices and realise that it will push the party into a price bracket that I'm really uncomfortable with. I was wondering if a party starts at 8:00 or 8: 30 do I really need to feed people?

If I was really clear on the invitations to eat before you come (I'm not sure how I would word this, suggestions are welcome please) then do you think people would be okay with that?

For previous big birthdays I have catered but things are different financially now.

Alternatively, I wondered about just providing bowls of nibbles on the tables.

What do you think? If you went to a party would you be cross if you had to you eat before you went?

I'm having a big party for an upcoming big birthday

Why have a 'big' party that requires a venue when you can't afford it? If having a party you are hosting an event, and hosts provide food and drink to their guests.

It seems it’s alright to want to get drunk but it’s not alright to want to eat.

If having a big party means lots of people then the likelihood is someone is going to want to eat at some point.

You are rather assuming all the drinks will be alcoholic

Definitely have a smaller party and food. What about a nice pub? One that's just a wet pub should let you bring food in? Hire a singer or pub might know of one?

Strange assumption. There’s usually soft drinks too. People like to use lemonade and coke as mixers don’t they?

Lots of food (ha!) for thought here thank you!

Some clarification:

This is the cheapest venue I can find! There's no village type hall in my town, and none of the pubs have a private hire room, and all the venues are the same kind of price, around 1k I've been looking for months and have tried everything.

I don't like Spotify playlists, I love live music and want a decent band which is another 1k

Most people will be local, some will be travelling but they are party animals and will be happy as long as there's drink!

There are cheap food options in town that people could go to first if they aren't local eg Weatherspoons

The venue I'm thinking of doesn't do catering though there is a kitchen, the other one I'm looking at only does very expensive food which also doesn't look very nice!

It's not before Christmas, but it is during the colder months so I can't do it at home in the garden

I'm ok spending 2k on this but above that I'm not comfortable, and I don't think my option should be spend the equivalent of going on holiday (meaning no holiday next year) or don't celebrate

It was the venue which suggested not doing food and just doing nibbles, and previous parties I've done with food we've ended up with so much leftover, it's such a waste.

I also don't have family who could help with this, my parents are elderly and live a long way away, and I don't want to be cooking and clearing up at my own party.

I wouldn't want to go out for a meal as people have suggested, that's rather boring! I want to dance and have a fun night.

There will be some children there so I was going to put some games out for people to play with, so there will be something to do, and people will be able to chat as I'll make sure the band is not too loud (I'm old enough to like to chat without shouting myself).

I guess the reality is I have to choose between good music and nibbles, or crap (Spotify) music and food, and I'm a music person.

I'm not expecting gifts! I'm going to say on the invitation not to bring gifts, a card is plenty. I just want a good night with my friends.

I'm leaning towards calling it a drinks party and if that puts people off, so be it.

If people have specific ideas for nibbles that don't need to be hot then please share! I need to cater for vegans as well so it's a bit trickier if I start doing too many food options

I think nibbles will be fine as long as its clear!

Depending on the venue to if you can bring food in anyway.
Big birthdays we have been to before have had a cheese birthday cake (lots of wheels of cheese!) Cheap this time of year and crackers are usually on offer around now.

Op darling, just put NO FOOD on the invite in the biggest font possible along with live band then you can weed out the foodies that only come for a free meal 😂😂

We're hosting a biggish NYE party at home. It'll be a squish!

The invite says from 8. And I'll be doing 'substantial nibbles' along with booze. I wouldn't dream doing the latter without some of the former. It's asking for trouble!

So they'll be a very big cheeseboard with crusty bread and crackers and grapes and apple; and three or four other hand held dip/canape type things

I'd rather have food than a live band .

Exactly.
I can have a fab time at a party without drinking alcohol (I can't drink it because it interacts with my medication)

Could you have a hog roast or something? I had that at my 50th and it wasn't stupidly expensive but went down well. They had a veggie option too. I'd rather not host a party at all, than not host properly.

If I received an invite to a party particularly one starting after 8 pm I'd expect it to be that - a party. I might expect a band/DJ and bowls of peanuts/crisps/or a snacky buffet at most. If I received an invite that said dinner/buffet I'd expect it to be earlier and I wouldn't eat in advance, or maybe have a slice of toast or something in case the dinner wasn't hugely substantial. If I had an invite to a gathering stating cash bar that would be fine too - I'd know I'd have to pay for my drinks and maybe buy some crisps while I'm there.

I don't know why anyone would automatically assume a meal would be served if something starts mid evening.

So at the drinks parties I have been to:

truffle crisps
nuts
olives
crackers , cheese and grapes
cold nachos and cheese
a pile of brownies in bite size portions

Even a few homemade sandwiches cut into quarters, some sausages rolls, falafels and crisps would be fine.

You are spending 2K and won't spend a couple of hundred quid on some catered sandwiches, sausages rolls, nibbles etc?
You don't need to go mad but people travelling and there's no food ?
Poor show

If you're dropping two thousand pounds on a venue and a DJ, then yes, you need to provide food, especially if you have children attending and people travelling to attend.

HNRTFT but yes you do need to provide food. People get the munchies when drinking.
I can remember my daughter being angry when I insisted on providing food for one of her parties as a teenager..Trust me the food was eaten. Just wack in the oven pizzas, sausage rolls, Indian snacks, crisps etc .

That’s you, and you can organise food for your birthday.

I don’t think you need to have food.

at 8pm every one would have eaten before surely?

if it finishes at midnight surely every one can cope 4 hours with no food?

I have been to a few parties where they say no food on the invites and it’s fine and great turn out.

i think it’s a generation thing to offer food and unnecessary.

Of the last ten parties I have been to, all were drinks parties with nibbles ( Col innit) Have fun op, your friends really really won’t care and will LOVE the band and celebrating with you.

I just want a good night with my friends.

Would your friends have a good night at a party with no food? I didn't but everyone's different I guess.

Nibbles is fine!! I’d never expect hot food or buffet at an evening do. Finger sandwiches, crisps, avoid nuts due to allergies, samosas, pakoras, sausage rolls (veg and non veg), sliced bits of pitta, dips, cheese, crackers, sliced veg, olives, mini quiches, grapes, mini sausages (veg and non veg), bits of French baguette chopped up, none of which requires pre cooking!

I think you need some food yes

Some of the suggestions in pp like mini stuff people can eat easily for example