Party - do I have to feed people?

[Dawevi]

I'm having a big party for an upcoming big birthday, hiring a venue and getting a band or DJ but that is quite expensive. I was looking at catering prices and realise that it will push the party into a price bracket that I'm really uncomfortable with. I was wondering if a party starts at 8:00 or 8: 30 do I really need to feed people?

If I was really clear on the invitations to eat before you come (I'm not sure how I would word this, suggestions are welcome please) then do you think people would be okay with that?

For previous big birthdays I have catered but things are different financially now.

Alternatively, I wondered about just providing bowls of nibbles on the tables.

What do you think? If you went to a party would you be cross if you had to you eat before you went?

This is a birthday party, not a drinks party, not a cocktail reception. Yes I’d expect food to be served at a birthday party, finger food not a three course meal!

How old are your guests? How old will you be?

A bit off topic maybe but I think 8pm is late for a party to start.

Evening parties usually start around 7pm.

I'd not expect food after 8.30pm apart from bowls of nibbles.

I don't think anyone wants a full dinner after 8.30pm or even finger food. Surely they will eat before coming to the party?

I'd not expect food at a drinks party other than crisps etc.

Yes, but with a later start people have more time to eat first.

Alcohol makes you hungry though, by dropping your blood sugars and sodium level.

I did this a few years ago. I hired a band that was really pricey so catering was out. I warned people in the invite to eat dinner before they came, and just provided crisps and birthday cake. Everyone still came and they had a ball.
Yes it would have been lovely to have provided a nice buffet, but my priority was the music and it was my party so there you go!

Oh and the venue did serve food so it people wanted to buy themselves proper food that was an option too.
OP could people do that at yours if they wanted to, or maybe order in takeout? ( we have a couple of local venues where this is really common, people order in from the local pizza restaurant as an when they need)

This! You absolutely don’t need any more food than this Op.
People don’t want full meals like curry, chilli, jacket potato’s at a drinks party.
it’s about drinking and socialising, not eating.

Yes you need to provide food, and it will seem very mean if you don’t.

cut back on numbers or the DJ or rethink the whole format if you can’t afford the party you’d like in an ideal world.

You need to provide some food, even if it's just crisps, sandwiches, sausage rolls etc. See if you can buy it in yourself.

you can't afford this party.

you need to find a cheaper venue and/or a cheaper band/dj.

Im old school Im afraid and I would no more think of not feeding a guest of mine as flying to the moon

Money is very tight for us, we no longer go out due to costs, but we often invite friends to ours for drinks and I will put a wee spread on. Nothing major , packet of nuts, packet of crisps, cocktail sausages, cheese and biscuits. They do the same - whatever is sat in the fridge or freezer which can be classed as finger food, is put out.

You should provide a buffet

You need to provide something but it doesn't have to be fancy- get family to make sandwiches, some big portions of pasta etc, cakes, just something to soak up the alcohol.

Do you live near any Asian cafes and would people eat samosas? These are inexpensive and go down really well at parties. The place near us also does spring rolls, bhajis etc and we often do an Indian buffet without much cost, and not just for an Indian crowd. They give dips and you could add in bags of salad. Good luck!

You'd be better off not hiring a DJ and using that for food. It's easy enough to make a party playlist, and IME DJs can just be loud and stop you from being able to talk and catch up with people.

I’ve been to a few 40ths like this and they all did food and money behind the bar. I think if you’re going to do a big birthday in this way there probably is an expectation of some nibbles etc.

Everyone had a great time . They came to celebrate, not to eat. Your friends might be different , but mine love a party and a DJ, so were all more than happy to come and spend the evening with me. This is a rural area thought where not much happens, so people love a party/disco/kareoke.

I find it very sad that there are people who would not attend a loved ones party if there wasn't any food.

It is nice to celebrate a special birthday with something different to drinks/a meal.

People do have the choice to not come, if they value food over friendship.

*though

Op isn't 5. Why shouldn't she throw a drinks party for her birthday?

I'd provide food, it seems odd not to. I wouldn't be paying for any drinks though and would make it clear on the invitations that it's a pay bar.

My point is they would probably be grateful for a party that didn't revolve around food

You could provide some sandwiches, crisps and cheesy biscuits. Not necessary to have a big spread.

Yeah, I don't dance, so paying to stand in a hall and shout small talk over the noise of a DJ isn't enjoyable.

I do prefer the culture of feeding people as a show of love. It’s interesting to see how many people on here consider providing food as unnecessary. I couldn’t imagine Italian, Spanish, French or Asian hosts having this negative mindset about food. (Some posters seeing it as an obsession, God, what is this obsession with food).

Food is great, I love it and I’m not embarrassed to say so 😁