What's the most ridiculous thing you've even been accused of?

[NavyPombear]

Just that really, Something so obviously nonsense that you couldn't believe anyone would take it seriously.

For me without doubt, it was when my parents thought I'd robbed a bank.
I was 17 and at school at the time of the robbery......

To this day I'm not entirely convinced they believe I wasn't involved 🙄

When I was 12 we had to write a few paragraphs on a topic in class and hand it to the teacher. After reading mine he accused me (in a very sarcastic and patronising tone) of copying the paragraphs from a book. I asked where would I have got the book from and he said the school library, I pointed out that I'd been in the classroom the whole time and his desk was by the door. He didn't have any answer to that and just chucked the book on his desk. I later mentioned it to the deputy head that I took it as a compliment. I was usually a quiet, passive kid but it was so ridiculous that he couldn't just acknowledge that I'd written something well, so I found my voice that day.

Refusing to sit with my teenage son whilst he had his chemotherapy sessions. During lockdown. When nobody other than patients and NHS staff were allowed onto the chemotherapy suite.

Accused of this by DH (STBX). Who had an NHS card through his work (not NHS himself, more a supporting service) which got him onto the suite.

Because yes STBX, I totally abandoned my son leaving him to go through cancer treatment because I couldn’t be arsed.

DS is fine now, STBXH is a bastard. Clearly.

My mum has told everyone that I took several £100k from her. I haven’t. But I did go NC with her because she married a convicted paedophile. I think it must make a more palatable story to tell everyone.

Funny enough, they apparently tell a similar story about her husband’s dc and why they are NC with them. I often wonder if people think it all sounds rather fishy or if they think they must be the most unfortunate people ever, given that all their children and grandchildren are NC with them. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Besides that, once in Y3, I got in trouble and made to sit out in the hall in the ‘naughty chair’ because another child tried to sit on my lap and I didn’t want them to, so I pulled my feet up to sort of push them off, just as the teacher turned around and it looked like I was putting my feet up on the desk. She shouted at me and sent me to the naughty chair and absolutely would not hear that I didn’t have my feet on the desk and it was just that from her view across the room that it looked like I did. That almost pisses me off more than my dysfunctional family. I think it was the only time I ever got in trouble at school and I didn’t even do it! 😂

I was once accused of having an affair with someone's husband based on that I had commented on his homemade quiche on social media. His wife knocked on door shouting at me. I told her I was not interested as he was old enough to be my dad and was gross. He was having an affair but not with me.

When I was a child, my grandmother had a small collection of brass ornaments. One day she accused me of having stolen or hidden a little brass anvil. Only me, not my sisters or my cousins who also visited the house regularly. Within a few days, she was certain that she had seen me at the end of the road throwing something shiny over the fence into a field. I couldn't remember having done such a thing, but I was only about 8 and believed adults never told lies, and I had once hidden her darning needle in the freezer compartment of the fridge.

A year or so later, my grandmother came back from a trip to Canada to visit relatives and said that she had seen the missing ornament in her brother in law's house. He must have helped himself to it when he was visiting. "So it looks as if KP didn't take it after all," she said, as if I should be grateful for her having come to this conclusion.

Assuming he had the correct cable (and you can get type 2 to 3 pin cables) why would you not? We used a "normal" socket for months when we were waiting for our new point to be fitted.

You can charge a car on a normal socket. Mine is charging right now. As long as you have the right cable type it is perfectly possible (albeit rather slow)

Accused of lying and made to apologise to the horrible boy who lived two doors down from us who bullied me throughout primary school.

Whole class birthday party, sometime in primary, horrible bully boy took the sweets I'd won at pass the parcel. I was a very quiet, nervous child afraid to speak up and say what had happened.

Walking home bully boy's mum asked if he'd been well behaved (presumably because he was in trouble so much) and I said no he hadn't because he'd stolen my sweets.

Following week after school I was made to apologise to him in front of a group of other onlooking kids and mums because his mum had spoken to the party child's mum and been told it didn't happen.

I still remember the looks on those other mum's faces, feeling absolutely heartbroken that I was in trouble, sobbing all the way home. Also the feeling that I couldn't ever speak up about his bullying so he got away with a lot more during the rest of primary.

Ryan B you are a dick.

I was accused of being an alcoholic by my mother because me and DH shared one bottle of wine every Saturday night. The rumour was believed so much that people stopped ordering alcohol around me and if I (rarely) ordered any alcohol when I was with them I’d get ‘are you sure?’ Comments with raised eyebrows. I have no idea what she was saying I was drinking, because it couldn’t have been the truth because nobody in their right mind would believe half a bottle of wine a week was a sign of alcoholism!

My MIL accused me of stealing a trivet as it had gone missing. She went so far as to holding a ‘trivet amnesty’ whilst at the same time repeating that it couldn’t have been anyone else in the house (DH, BIL, FIL). This went on for three days until it was found on top of the fridge (FIL had left a pan to cool down up there). Why the f would I steal a trivet

This is crazy @BeADinosaur, how did you find out that you were a suspect?!

It has not been good. It felt like blackmail. There's been all other sorts of nonsense but I'm trying to keep it light for social media.

And I won, in the end. All bullies are cowards and I'm not alone here. My big mistake was not asking for help earlier. I thought of myself as the outsider when, in fact, I'm actually well liked and respected here. Been here 25 years and I'm very well integrated. I didn’t realise how many people liked me and I was too damned stubborn.

The bloody chemists are Belgian and are the highest priced pharmacy in the district. They do, however, have a car park and stay open late (Which I signed to say they could as a lovely neighbour!) so they kind of get the locals by the begging for a prescription testicules. They're only really liked by the retired Paris second home owners because they come across as cultivated whereas Corsicans are the kind of Yorkshire folk of Europe. Lovely people but an entire conversation can be expressed in an imperceptible movement of an eyelid muscle and when really desperate, 'Hé bé.' pronounced 'Uh.'

Thankyou for your comment. It means a lot.

So this is pathetic but I still remember it 40 years later!

I was a really naive and young 11 year old in 1st year at secondary, first term probably and I didn’t understand a question in a test so asked the person next to me. It wasn’t test conditions or anything, we were all just seated as normal but the teacher accused me of cheating, wrote cheat all over my paper and everything. I was such a quiet, timid child, it was mortifying for me!

I think I might blame that teacher for being shit at maths! I never did get my fucking GCSE maths, I’ll blame loss of confidence after that incident😜

When I worked at this particular workplace in my late teens (40 years ago,) I worked with a gobby Janice Battersby type, and she was so aggressive all the time, and very shouty. I used to go to the pub with her and about 6 other women every Friday night. (She was about 24.) 3 or 4 of the boyfriends of the women would come along after a couple of hours.

She had this horrible boyfriend who was in his mid 30s, and he was always leering at me and letching at me (and a couple of other girls too.) We just squirmed and felt nauseous! He was vile.

She cornered me in the toilets on Monday lunchtime this one week, and accused me of trying it on with him, groping at his genitalia, and trying to kiss him. Apparently, I had also been begging him to fuck me outside on the car park.

I was a shy, nervous virgin at 17, and had never even kissed a boy, and would never have behaved like this. I was gobsmacked by this, and I said 'no, that never happened!' She shoved me against the wall and told me she'd cut my throat if I even looked at him again. Needless to say, I never went out with her again. I was scared to leave the house apart from going to work, for a good 3 months! I was glad when she left the workplace! Fucking batshit she was!

!

Some mad woman at the school gates found me on Facebook and told me to stay away from her man , she said she knew I had slept with him and I was to stick to my own man.

Turns out he once cut my grass years before, and I don’t even know what he looks like if I were to see him in the street, my husband organised that occasion 😂

She messaged me on a few occasions and she was known for being such a loon I had to tell her to stop fucking harassing me or she’d have the police.

I still to this day expect another message, and the last was 4 years ago. She’s that crazy. Thankfully my husband had no doubts

Change of username as this is so bizarre it's easily identifiable.
Background : Toxic workplace in the NHS
Lots of cronyism..unfairness and bullying.
I whistle blew and it made things worse.

I was accused of moving someone's engagement ring they had in their bag.
Apparently I'd gone in the bag and moved it to another part of the bag

I was accused by the ring owner as we were driving to a place of work.
I was speechless and couldn't make sense of what I was being accused of .
Obviously I explained I didn't know even where her bag was or couldn't understand why she thought I would or has done it .

Rest of the 90 min journey spent in awkward silence as I tried to get my head around it later on I went to ask you f she wanted to join me for lunch , her door was open and I hear dher discussing " it's was definitely her she went red and didn't know what to say"

One of many many bizarre events and situations I endured.

Sounds like the same fruitloop that I encountered in the workplace when I was 17! 😱

Of hoovering at 2am.

Of cheating at Wordle!

I’ve been accused of similar in the bank and honestly thought I was about to lose my mind. The woman in question was on the opposite side of the room as I came in (I only noticed her because she had a bright red coat on) and joined the queue for the ATMs (would have used the outside one but it was November 2011 and freezing cold). After I argued about not taking her space, when I got to the front some other dickhead literally leapt in front of me to use the machine. I assumed he was one of her mates or someone who thought I needed even more of a kicking.
Oh, and when I was about 5 years old and swinging on the first school gate to amuse myself, someone’s angry dad came up and asked what I’d been saying about his daughter not going to school. Scared the shit out of me and I never told anyone. I still wonder whether it was a case of mistaken identity or he just wanted to be a nasty arse.

I have to confess to wrongly accusing someone. I accused my then seven-year-old daughter that she had cheated in the community fund run. It was two laps of our quite big park. She ran off her ahead and seemingly won the race. The organisers said she must have cut down the middle of the park because she was so far a head of everyone including many adults. We gave her a cupcake as her prize (and everyone else got one as well) while the actual winner got a big medal.

It was only when her school entered her for a county race that she absolutely smashed the next year that we began to realise what a good runners she was. She now runs at national /almost international level. 😬

We did apologise a lot!

Being an ill-intentioned troublemaker for trying to redress horrific injustices on social media.

My husband was accused of causing rioting in a village we'd never heard of, far less visited. Went to court and everything.

I'm still upset that Helen hinted very strongly and publicly that I stole her coffee. I did not.

As a child, there was a rumour I had a penchant for shooting up heroin on the roof of the village hall.

When I was a girl guide we went on a camping trip. Apparently one of the guides hit a scout round the head with a rounders bat.

He wasn't sure who it was so we all had to stand in a line up so he could see us all and work out who it was who hit it.

He picked me!! I'd never seen him before, let alone hot him with a bat!

trying to svoid PAYING the correct bus fayre turns out I was right and he was charging me the incorrect fayre