How do I explain LBTQ+ club to my year 7 son?

[elliejjtiny]

Ds4 is 11 and in year 7. He likes to go to clubs at lunchtime, mostly because if you are going to a club you can go to the front of the dinner queue. Ds4 is disabled so he usually ends up at the back of the queue otherwise.

Anyway, one of the club's is the LBQT+ club. Only he doesn't understand what the club is. I asked him what they do there and he said they play games, make badges and sometimes there is cake. He has been asking me what the letters mean but I don't know what to tell him. I could explain about families with 2 mum's or 2 dad's but that seems not quite right when the people going to the club are secondary school aged and I would have thought a large proportion of them are there to get out of the cold and for free cake. Also I have no idea how to explain the other letters to a child who doesn't understand the concept of sex/relationships yet. I'm very conscious that whatever I tell him will be repeated and I don't want him accidentally offending anybody.

We don't know any LBQT+ people apart from 2 of his teachers so I can't say that being trans is like uncle Dave who used to be Auntie Davina or explain that being gay is like Amelia from school who has 2 mums.

A tangent to your original point but DS very clearly needs a lunch pass as a reasonable adjustment and you should speak urgently to the SENDCO about this.

THIS. Regardless of what club it is, nobody should be joining ANY club just to enable what they should have as a reasonable adjustment.

Except that if they are talking about trans they they are doing the exact opposite of encouraging children to accept themselves as they are.

And if they are pushing the trans agenda then that leads to the things I mentioned.

I appreciate that most school clubs of this nature tread carefully around this but believe me there are some teachers who are hell bent on pushing their own beliefs and view points on children.

The only teacher I have ever come across like you describe was an islamophobic transphobe who told his classes that anyone with any faith was stupid.
We can't even get them to use the apostrophe correctly despite teaching repeatedly.
LGBT+/Pride Socs in schools are not about making people anything. They are a safe space from bullying primarily.
And if being exposed to discussion of a type of relationship made anyone anything all teenagers would be straight as that is the main relationship type described in school. Talking about LGBT issues does not make anyone anything.

I’m not really talking about “making anyone anything”. I’m talking about presenting a contested belief system as if it were fact and doing the opposite of statutory RSE guidance says about gender identity.

Teachers need to be actively breaking down stereotypes, not reinforcing them and normalising “preferred pronouns”.

I am seriously sick of the scaremongering going on. Every bloody discussion comes back to this. Adults who are trans were children they are entitled to basic information including that trans does exist.

Those who feel differently are free to pump their views at home. But no not mentioning it and ensuring there is no bullying is what is important.

Using the pronouns some one prefers is just polite. I will be guided by my students on that. Just as I am about their nicknames.
However, again this isn't really something we cover much in the club anyway. We tend to call people by their names in their presence.
The last time we had a discussion on gender and language it was actually in FemSoc and it was about research on how men and boys dominate discussion and the various ways they can do this without thinking and how they can be more aware about themselves to prevent it. It was delivered by a year 12 boy.

Yes any secondary school I know runs a LGBTQ club to support young people. To make it a slice where all can learn correct language and respect for everyone.

Yup. Often with cake.
To be fair, I think Christian Union (who meet at the same time next door) have cake more often. They're more organised. We sometimes even have joint meetings! Shock horror.

To be fair, we have heard the folk singing group had full size kit Kats. Christian group here appears to be very heavily into the Swiss rolls, and allegedly they ain't the ,'nice,,' ones

If trans exists, please explain what it is.

You need to read KCSIE and the Cass Review.

No. I am not trans so that would be unfair and it isn't my job to educate you.

I have worked in the 90s with a trans woman and saw the hell she went through. I have saw a friend go through hell with her trans daughter by absolute sickening adults who spouted pure bile.

There are several reputable sources to explain it to you.

I have read KCSIE. I do not need to read the discredited Cass review thank you.

it has not been discredited - why would you say that

Maybe follow KCSIE then.

Who has the Cass report been discredited by?

Both the Tory and Labour governments support it and are committed to implementing it so you’ll have to get used its findings and recommendations.

Many reasons:
https://law.yale.edu/sites/default/files/documents/integrity-project_cass-response.pdf

Regardless, I don't need to read it as it isn't relevant to me. When I have time I will read the full thing. However, I have read KCSIE. We have to read and acknowledge the updates every year. I will continue to keep children safe in education.

I do follow KCSIE.

I am yet to find a coherent description of ‘trans’ - by that I mean one that is based in science and reality and that fits with all the people who think they are ‘trans’.

So I remain unconvinced that ‘trans’ is a thing.

Transvestism is not the same as transgenderism.
Your colleague is a man who has faced homophobic abuse for wearing dresses and lippy.
This is not what a "trans woman" faces nowadays.

Using pronouns someone prefers is not 'just polite.'

It's awful. Dangerous for women. Dangerous for children.

I pray to God you are not a teacher I. My children's school.

This.

So go find a reliable source the same about any query you have.

Give there has been sex change operations for decades there is plenty of scientific evidence. But I am not getting into the usual bun fight because all they want is the gotcha!

If a child wants to call themselves any pronoun why on earth wouldn't people respect it.

I am sure you will find a reputable source.

A trans woman is a transvestite.

People need to wake up.