How do I explain LBTQ+ club to my year 7 son?

[elliejjtiny]

Ds4 is 11 and in year 7. He likes to go to clubs at lunchtime, mostly because if you are going to a club you can go to the front of the dinner queue. Ds4 is disabled so he usually ends up at the back of the queue otherwise.

Anyway, one of the club's is the LBQT+ club. Only he doesn't understand what the club is. I asked him what they do there and he said they play games, make badges and sometimes there is cake. He has been asking me what the letters mean but I don't know what to tell him. I could explain about families with 2 mum's or 2 dad's but that seems not quite right when the people going to the club are secondary school aged and I would have thought a large proportion of them are there to get out of the cold and for free cake. Also I have no idea how to explain the other letters to a child who doesn't understand the concept of sex/relationships yet. I'm very conscious that whatever I tell him will be repeated and I don't want him accidentally offending anybody.

We don't know any LBQT+ people apart from 2 of his teachers so I can't say that being trans is like uncle Dave who used to be Auntie Davina or explain that being gay is like Amelia from school who has 2 mums.

Gosh, you've done him absolutely no favours if you've never had a conversation about same sex relationships etc by this age.

Get teaching him, it's your responsibility as a parent to educate your child.

What's all this talk about wanting to get married?

Not all gay people want to get married!!

It's a club for people who are attracted to (or fancy) people of the same sex, or for people who want to support that. Easy.

Also I have no idea how to explain the other letters to a child who doesn't understand the concept of sex/relationships yet

@elliejjtiny why doesn't your child understand sex and relationships yet?
Wasn't it covered in primary school?

Has he got additional needs?

Tell him it's a club for young people who might go on to have relationships with people the same sex as them when they are older, or might already be having a relationship with someone the same sex. That these young people can feel isolated and having a club is a chance to mix with other people in similar circumstances. That the T part means people who would prefer to be the opposite sex to the one they are, which is a very different thing from who people want relationships with. But because they might also feel isolated they are included in the club.

DS knew he was gay when he was 8 but because he didn’t know some of our friends are gay (!) he thought he was alone and in some way broken. A club like this would have been invaluable to him.

There’s a difference because being gay is just how you are and not affected by whether you go to a club or not however being trans is a whole different ballgame it’s a created awareness

It's really easy to explain that the majority of people are attracted to the opposite sex but some people are attracted to the same sex, both sexes or neither and the LGBT+ club is for people who feel this way. Y7 is really late to be having this discussion.

The LGB is really not difficult to explain - as others have said.

I object to ‘TQ+’ being used in a school setting though. Children aren’t trans or queer. Queer is a considered a slur by many LGB people and anything that may hint at the queering of boundaries is clearly a red flag for schools.

As for ‘trans’, it’s based on a contested belief system that undermines safeguarding and women’s rights. I wish it (the belief system) would be shown up for the harmful nonsense it is.

My children have been to two different primary schools and both celebrated Pride month - in age appropriate ways, obviously but it introduced them to L, G and T concepts for a start.

OP did your son's primary not do this?

My DC goes to Pride Club on a weekly basis. They do all sorts of things at the club including making posters and badges, but there's a lot of chatter, and it does tend to be the club that attracts the more ND students. It's a safe space where people aren't judgemental.
They do also talk about LGBTQ+ relationships in context of relationship/attraction/confusion and uncertainty about sexuality but certainly not in graphic terms or "promoting" one lifestyle over another.

Like many PPs, I'm surprised that a year 7 doesn't have awareness of LGBTQ+ issues as it tends to be covered in sex education (or whatever it's currently called) through junior into senior school.

Pride Club seems a lot easier of a name for children to understand, instead of tripping over all those letters and trying to remember the order (especially if you're dyslexic).

My previous post was deleted. Why am I unable to say that I disagree with an LBGTQ+ group aimed at 11 year old? Especially the trans part. Many people agree with not pushing ideologies at impressionable children. Parents have to stand up to it.

My daughter in year 7 has to walk past a poster advertising pansexuality amongst other "niche" sexual behaviours as designed by the Pride club.

I have raised it as a safeguarding issue.

Dd asked me when she was at nursery school if a man can marry a man. I said "Yes, Elton John is married to a man." She'd seen him on TV recently.

Maybe because it isn't 1970 and children are entitled to have support in their school incase they have parents who display opinions like yours 🤷‍♀️

@Marblesbackagain do you agree that children are impressionable? And that adults should not be suggesting or indulging dangerous ideologies. Or is that ok to you?

So a 11 year old being given appropriate language is an issue?

Exactly how is information and explaining language a safe guarding issue?

Is ignorance better?

Off topic but your son shouldn't have to join any lunch club just so that he doesn't end up at the back of the lunch queue because he is disabled. The school should be ensuring that he is able to go to the front of the queue anyway.

Depends what the niche sexual behaviours were. Be specific

Dangerous ideologies 🤦‍♀️. Honestly the homophobia and bigotry comes out strong on this place.

It is a space for children to learn language, ask questions and have someone answer them . Going on what's here it is obvious they won't get information at home but taught ignorance.

You may want your child to learn that they can change sex or be a furry but I absolutely do not.

I'm pretty sure that trans ideology is considered by many to be homophobic and misogynistic. "Transing the gay away" - a quote from the Tavistock centre.

Gender ideology is totally unconnected to homosexuality which is same sex attraction.

They're going to learn it anyway.

Best not to have them 'learn' it from the playground.

Of for goodness sake! So exactly how is not having a club available going to do this

You do know children talk to each other, share social media. Or is your child delivered to school in a locked box ?

Come on people, this is just another post designed to start a trans bashing discussion.