How much is enough for an engagement ring ?

[RevelryMum]

Just wondering what peoples thoughts on this are and obviously it will differ from person to person and income and taste but generally what do you think is acceptable to spend on an engagement ring ? And what would be "too much" . If we assume the person buying the ring earns in and around 45,000 - 50,000 a year . The reason I'm asking is a friend got engaged and was bought a ring for around 300 I looked it up at the time but can't remember exact price, her DP has a good job so money wasn't an issue. I know secretly she doesn't like it as I've known for years the style she likes also it's not an engagement ring or a diamond so I feel there was little to no thought put into it. If it were me I think I would be very hurt as it's not a token ring that's her ring for the rest of her life and I feel he gave it no consideration at all.

There is no 'acceptable' amount to spend and it's none of your business. Presumably if your friend isn't happy she can talk to her fiancé about it.

I really hate the idea that there should be an ideal amount to spend on a ring. I’ve known people who spent under £100 and people who spent thousands, and to be honest the less expensive rings chosen with a lot of thought and love always seen like the sign of a healthier relationship to me.

Why are you so sad that you have to look up the price of someone else's engagement ring. Id concentrate on yourself rather than others.

There was a thread way back about what to do with a £10,000 ring as they were getting divorced.

My SIL's ring cost Hardly anything and they've been happily married for many years.

The price of the ring does NOT matter in life.

The X months being acceptable for a wedding/engagement ring was apparently an advertising campaign by De Beers.

It should be a ring that the person proposed to likes. If the proposer isn’t confident choosing then picking a prop ring and buying one later is also ok

This is a very strange reaction to your friend’s engagement. Are you usually this involved in her life? Do you think you are a bit jealous or dislike her partner? Are you not happy with their engagement? The cost of a ring is irrelevant - especially to someone who is not in the relationship. Are you generally materialistic, or is this just a reaction to the engagement?

Surely the ring is meaningful what it represents and not how much it costs? I wouldn’t be marrying anyone that demanded an expensive ring.

Not I agree the price doesn't matter it's more the thought behind it. I'm just thinking out loud I suppose as my friend wouldn't be of the same train of thought .

And as others have said it is none of my business and I would never mention it to her I was merely curious if other people would feel as she feels or has expressed in the past.

I didn’t care how much my engagement ring cost. I just wanted one I liked.

Sorry but this!

You looked up the price of the ring? That is weird behaviour. Nothing to do with you.

My husband spent 3k on mine and I couldn’t give a crap if other people think it was too little/much. Much like I don’t care and have honestly never given a thought to how much other people’s cost either.

Why does everything have to be worked out in monetary value to the last pence? It's so distasteful. My ring was an antique one and with emeralds not diamonds. Worth c £2-300 when bought. Who cares though? I love it and it symbolises just as well as some flashy piece bought for display rather than meaning.

How much money did your friend spend on an engagement gift for him?
Is she usually quite shallow?

I adore handmade silver jewellery, so my engagement ring would never be in the thousands. If DP got me a £10,000 ring I would think he didn't know me.

I'm not materialistic at all. And not jealous if anything I'm worried as I think he felt pressured into proposing and no thought into the ring is a reflection of that. But again yes not my business if anything just mulling it all over in my head thinking out loud .

There isn’t a set price, I think it depends on circumstances. If they haven’t yet bought a house and got money saved up for a wedding it makes sense to buy a cheaper ring and then save up for those. If they do have those then I’d spend a bit more on a ring.

I don't know if I would say shallow more a need to portray this picture perfect life that doesn't really exist . Like she is trying to keep up with others if that makes sense

If he has that income level and it was like under 50 quid from the argos catalogue I'd thing it was a bit thoughtless. But anything else I'd be fine with, I'm not into jewellery and can't imagine spending silly money on a ring, I'd internally judge anyone spending over like 1500 as profligate personally.

And jewelry tastes are very specific, if she wanted the exact ring she likes she needed to be involved in choosing it, just because he guessed a bit wrong doesn't mean there was no thought, just that he's not psychic.
And sorry- but you do sound quite mercenary. Would you also judgenif she has a quiet wedding and doesn't spend £££££ on her wedding dress? Maybe they just have different priorities to you.

No I'm actually the opposite I would never spend ££££ on a wedding or a ring . Again I looked because I know that she would and I know what she would have liked it was pure curiosity. Makes absolutely no difference to me. She's actually deleted all trace of the engagement and ring from her social media I know she doesn't like it and again I'm just thinking out loud .

Surely it's very salary and circumstance dependent? My ring was custom made by local jeweller, I chose the diamond from a selection and the metal, and it was still less than the high street but literally unique. For my dh it was not expensive because he's a higher earner. For someone on £50k it would have been over a months salary so expensive

But you are equating thought with money that’s not right. I can’t imagine someone paying £300 on essentially a gift for me and me being ungrateful. I can imagine being bought something and not liking it that’s different but if you do the whole man proposes with a ring that’s the risk you take and should have been discussed beforehand.

You’re just assuming there was no thought put in to it due to the amount spent. It is actually possible for someone to put a lot of thought in to something and still get it wrong. The price of the ring is no indication of thought.
None of my rings are expensive and even after, nigh on 30 years, my husband would be hard pressed to know what style I would like for an expensive ring because I’ve never owned one or had reason to put any thought in to it myself

Two months wages is the common rule of thumb for an engagement ring.

This is exactly right. It doesn’t matter how much it costs, it matters whether they pick something that you personally will like.

@RevelryMum is it even gold??? A common rule of thumb is to spend one to three months' salary on an engagement ring. he does not appear to think very much of his fiance!

I don't mind how much mine is worth my engagement ring is my Grans and my husband only paid about £35 for sizing and cleaning.

I know someone who got a 5k flashy platinum ring but couldn't wear it due to work. Waste of money to me.