How much is enough for an engagement ring ?

[RevelryMum]

Just wondering what peoples thoughts on this are and obviously it will differ from person to person and income and taste but generally what do you think is acceptable to spend on an engagement ring ? And what would be "too much" . If we assume the person buying the ring earns in and around 45,000 - 50,000 a year . The reason I'm asking is a friend got engaged and was bought a ring for around 300 I looked it up at the time but can't remember exact price, her DP has a good job so money wasn't an issue. I know secretly she doesn't like it as I've known for years the style she likes also it's not an engagement ring or a diamond so I feel there was little to no thought put into it. If it were me I think I would be very hurt as it's not a token ring that's her ring for the rest of her life and I feel he gave it no consideration at all.

There are no rules. If she is disappointed with the ring then she needs to have a discussion with her fiancée. Has she told you she doesn’t like it? I also think the whole idea of engagement rings having to be diamond and a certain amount based 2 or 3 x monthly earnings is ridiculous. I got a gorgeous engagement ring for around £1000 - it is moissanite not diamond but it sparkles just the same (if not more) is just as durable for everyday wear - I love it. I have friends who have sapphire engagement rings and they are also stunning.

The most important consideration should be to buy a style of ring that the recipient likes. I wouldn't consider it right for someone to go into masses of debt because the bride only likes really expensive rings - there should be consideration on both sides. But this is something a woman will wear forever - it should reflect her tastes and style. A man choosing without her input, really ought to put proper thought into it.

Theres a difference between but an inexpensive ring because he knows she will totally love it and buying an inexpensive ring purely because of its price. Being tight with money when you don't need to be, can indicate lack of generosity generally. Marrying a man who counts every penny unnecessarily, leads women into poverty when kids come along and he continues to keep his cash while expecting her to make equal financial contributions even during maternity leave. So buying a thoughtless, cheap ring can be a warning sign.

Your friend should iron this out with her fiancè - if she can't talk to him and be honest then it doesn't bode well.

Hello. I think people approach engagement and rings very differently. My engagement ring was less than £100 and has a pearl. I love it. Neither my husband or I are perfect but we’ve been happily married for 15 years and navigated some tough times. I don’t think the cost indicates anything. Someone could buy a really expensive ring but be a horrible human being. This idea that the ring ‘is for life’ for me is not really key, more the husband is for life and how you enjoy the good times together but also how you respond when life is hard. I think sometimes when there is so much emphasis on the ring it’s because there’s other issues at play. I don’t know if this is the case for your friend (or for you thinking about it), but something to consider.

There’s no acceptable amount. Lots of women will expect a decent diamond though! I think my engagement ring cost £2k back in 1995. I bet the average spend now is a good bit more.

Many of my friends have had their original rings upgraded, by which I mean replaced with something flashier.

I've been married nearly 20 years. My ring cost £650 at the time...I'm not sure what the equivalent would be now but it's still perfect. I love it.

Mine was £120 from a second hand shop. It's not the ring that matters. If your friend doesn't like it, she needs to talk to her fiance and you need to MYOB.

I don't think there are any thick and fast rules about it. I think it's bizarre that you looked up the price of your friend's engagement ring.

That said, I wouldn't have accepted a £300 ring from my husband. I had a particular style and size in mind which wouldn't be affordable at that price. Yes it's the marriage that "matters" not the ring, but if I'm wearing a ring every day for the rest of my life, you can bet it's going to be one I love.

I once heard that, traditionally, the engagement ring should be worth about one month’s salary so, on that basis, your friend’s ring should have cost at least £3,000. Obviously, no one has to stick to this rule, people have different priorities and can spend as much or as little as they like, but I can understand the argument that the value of the ring reflects the importance of the engagement and if the woman wears the ring every day for the rest of her life it’s not quite such bad value for money!

My engagement ring cost £350 in 2003. My husband earned just under £20K per year at the time.

I picked it though and picked it as I liked it, it is white gold with a single diamond and was fairly unusual at the time.

Main thing is I’m still wearing it 21 years later 😍

I think it was an advertising campaign by a diamond cartel rather than a tradition!

www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-27371208

I'm a jeweller so I should say as much as possible!! 🤣

But in reality there's no set amount. The first question we always ask someone looking for a ring is what their budget is. Some people are a bit coy about it but it makes it much easier to find the best deal for them.

I often show customers 3 or 4 diamonds and quite frequently the most expensive diamond is not the one I recommend, (if they want my opinion) because I think one of the others is nicer, or better value. Lab grown diamonds have made fancier rings more available on lower budget. But ideally the recipient should like it enough to wear frequently!

We got engaged in 2010 and didn’t really have masses of money. My engagement ring cost £300, my wedding ring and eternity rings cost about the same. I love them, I don’t care there aren’t expensive!

If your friend doesn’t like her ring she should say something because of that. Not because of the price.

I agree with those who say it is about whether your friend likes the ring, not about the price.

Mine is amethyst and cost £165. I love it and wear it all the time. My hands are unusually large for a woman only a large diamond would be anything other than insignificant on my finger and I wouldn't have wanted DH to spend that much on a ring. I also like that I can wear my ring without worrying about losing a fortune if it is damaged. One poor acquaintance wore her engagement ring on a hike and the $10,000 diamond fell out somewhere on the trail. Yikes.

We didn't get engaged. We had other, more important things to spend our money on. Had we done the whole ring thing, I probably would have wanted either an amethyst or a sapphire in an art deco style setting. As pps have said, for us the most important thing was the marriage, not the sparkly stuff. The marriage is now over 40 years old, still going strong and my dh is worth more than any ring.

There are no rules. My DH made mine (he does metal work/blacksmith sort of stuff as a hobby, and asked someone to come and help him with jewellery). White gold and a sapphire, I think he paid £2k in materials? Can't remember now!

It's gorgeous. I was more impressed that he'd actually made it though! I can't wear it all the time because of the setting and it can catch on things, but I love it. We then made each other's wedding rings! I'd have hated it if he'd spent a fortune though, that's not what it's about for me personally.

Well, Dh and I were both students when we got engaged. My ring cost about £700. But it’s exactly the one I wanted. We bought the stone together (it’s a gemstone, not a diamond because I didn’t want a diamond, but the stone comes from a place that has sentimental significance for us). Then we had the ring designed by a jewellery designer for the stone. It’s beautiful and unique and there isn’t another one like it and it’s exactly what I wanted. I love it and I’ve worn it every day since.

Yes, obviously it’s an issue, not the price, but the lack of thought and consideration that went into what should have been a really meaningful joint purchase.

There is no amount.

I have a very expensive ring (to me), sometimes I look at it and wish he'd (our money) had spent it on a nicer couch or a piece of art even.

It just becomes so unimportant: the resell value is minimal as well. Nobody wants a second hand ring, my friend's relationship broke down and she sold it for a third of the price, 2 months after it was bought.