How much is enough for an engagement ring ?

[RevelryMum]

Just wondering what peoples thoughts on this are and obviously it will differ from person to person and income and taste but generally what do you think is acceptable to spend on an engagement ring ? And what would be "too much" . If we assume the person buying the ring earns in and around 45,000 - 50,000 a year . The reason I'm asking is a friend got engaged and was bought a ring for around 300 I looked it up at the time but can't remember exact price, her DP has a good job so money wasn't an issue. I know secretly she doesn't like it as I've known for years the style she likes also it's not an engagement ring or a diamond so I feel there was little to no thought put into it. If it were me I think I would be very hurt as it's not a token ring that's her ring for the rest of her life and I feel he gave it no consideration at all.

God, de Beers have done a number on people with their "twice the salary for an engagement ring" and the whole eternity ring scam. Maybe they should focus on their ethics.....

Not really got business it's it? And your friend sounds grabby.

We were busy saving for a house deposit when we got engaged. I'd have been a bit cross if DH had spent a fortune on a ring.

My ring cost £600 from a deceased estate auction. My eternity ring also came from a deceased estate and that cost about £1200 although it is smaller than the engagement ring.

I love them. Both DH and I are very keen on history (particularly Ewardian and Victorian history) and so love that my ring (and all of our furniture) has a history that pre-dates us and will outlive us.

So the cost is relatively low, but what it means to me / us is more than money. I will be straight- if I were to have a cookie-cutter mass produced ring with synthetic stones then I would be disappointed no matter what it cost.

Mine was £150 10 years ago. I chose it.

@RevelryMum I agree! There should be some consideration from the person buying the ring that they choose something their partner would like. It's something you'd hope to wear almost every day for the rest of your life after all. If not alot of thoughts gone into it doesn't really bode well IMO. If they're rubbish at choosing this sort of thing they could ask their partners friend/family for advice.

I'd probably be nosy too especially if I thought someone didn't have the best intentions for a mate.

It used to be 3 months salary was the 'right' amount to spend. This was in a time when you'd both be living at home with parents and have no children or house to pay for though.

I think it's more about what's affordable and what you know your partner would like.

I'd hate to think my husband had got a cheap ring simply because it was cheap. And I'd hate to think he'd spent thousands that could be spent on something else.

Ha. That was very clever marketing campaign by de beers

and a stupid one at that. But genius whoever thought of that to begin with as they made the diamond industry boom.

@Cerealkiller4U "Ha. That was very clever marketing campaign by de beers"

Yep. And then came the invention of the eternity ring. Even cleverer.

I picked out several rings that I liked, at my now husband's request. He then picked one from my selection. Yes, I knew he planned to propose but had no idea when it would happen. My engagement ring wasn't massively expensive, and my husband earns a good salary. I deliberately didn't select overly expensive rings, my thinking is that I'd be too frightened to wear it! For my husband, he was most concerned about, the fact I liked the ring he bought, not the price tag.

It's things like this which let us woman down. It makes us look obsessed with money and shallow.

@RevelryMum I think the only time it really matters is if the partner is earning good money and spends a lot of it on gifts for himself, and then cheaps out with the ring that his partner will wear every day for the rest of her life. That shows a lack of value, and I'd feel a little let down by that. But that's more about what he values spending his money on than the material cost of the actual ring.

ETA I'd feel the same if a woman spends all her money on herself and then buys a cheap throwaway gift for her partner or kids.

The issue is that she doesn’t like it rather than the cost. I have a gorgeous large diamond solitaire which I’ve loved forever. We went and chose it together as my now husband knows me well enough to let me chose my own jewellery.

Nowadays I would buy lab grown diamond for ethical reasons so engagement rings don’t need to cost as much as they used to or if they do you get a much bigger stone for your money.

Your friend needs to tell her fiancé that she doesn’t like the ring. (With some sensitivity)

Wow. Spending less than you deem to be acceptable would be an insult. Poor bloke

I’m horrified you’re so invested in your friends business you even googled how much her engagement ring was, then started a thread. Trying to gauge how invested he is and if he felt pressured to propose.

i don’t know what’s wrong with your life, but this is far from acceptable

This "common rule of thumb" stuff based on salaries for the cost of engagement rings is ridiculous.

You deliberately didn't read the context I gave. He is a very high earner. I am wealthy myself. I am obviously not going to be happy with a cheap ring. It's not about money representing love, it's about our personal circumstances and styles.

As I said, I personally spend a few hundred for day jewellery so I'm obviously going to want something special for me comparatively.

I'm not disparaging anyone else's preferences or circumstances.

You looked it up? 😂. Shame on you

Your context is totally irrelevant, but clearly you'll never get that.

I know so many women that were very much I want at least 1 carat solitaire diamond ring. The old it needs to be 3 months of his salary 🙄

If it's not the style she likes then that's the main problem not the price.

For me I didn't want a very expensive one as I'm known for being a bit careless and losing things. I wanted white gold and diamond but something pretty with detail. I had given now dh plenty of hints of what I wanted. He picked me an absolutely stunning ring.

The ring was about £600 that was about 12yrs ago. I still love it.

This and @allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld - are you kidding???

First off, the original campaign was a month’s salary, and secondly, it was marketing from a diamond dealer.

There is no appropriate amount, what matters is that it is a ring the wearer likes.

Yes, that nonsense was started by debeers, wasn't it?

I think it would have helped if they had had a conversation about what kind of ring she wants if he was to propose. It's a bit late now IMO.

OP, how do you know she doesn't like it? You imply from your post that you know the style of ring she likes so that leads you to assume she secretly dislikes it. Has she ever actually told she dislikes it? You don't mention such a conversation.

Maybe it was an inherited ring. Or maybe it was one they saw in a shop window on their first date. Or maybe he really believed she'd love it. Or maybe they're secretly saving hard to move overseas. Or maybe they've a pact never to spend more than £x on something unless it's made from genuine certified moondust. Or maybe she actually does dislike it. Who knows. Unless she tells you, it's none of your business.

Surely you can see your behaviour is odd. Who looks up the price of their friend's ring?

I suspect if op had discovered the cost was twenty times what it was, she'd have no difficulty in believing her friend loved the ring.

So shallow. And mercenary...