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Original poster

How much is enough for an engagement ring ?

117 replies

RevelryMum · 15/11/2024 07:07

Just wondering what peoples thoughts on this are and obviously it will differ from person to person and income and taste but generally what do you think is acceptable to spend on an engagement ring ? And what would be "too much" . If we assume the person buying the ring earns in and around 45,000 - 50,000 a year . The reason I'm asking is a friend got engaged and was bought a ring for around 300 I looked it up at the time but can't remember exact price, her DP has a good job so money wasn't an issue. I know secretly she doesn't like it as I've known for years the style she likes also it's not an engagement ring or a diamond so I feel there was little to no thought put into it. If it were me I think I would be very hurt as it's not a token ring that's her ring for the rest of her life and I feel he gave it no consideration at all.

OP posts:
Allschoolsareartschools · 15/11/2024 07:50

We had very little spare money when I got engaged 30 years ago. My ring cost £40, of course it wasn't real diamonds but it really didn't matter & dh & I have been very happy.
I'm wondering if the friend is actually you & you've got doubts about his feelings? Only you would know for sure but the cost of the ring is irrelevant.

QuantumPanic · 15/11/2024 07:51

I think it depends less on salary and more on what the recipient would be happy with - which the ring giver should hopefully have some insight into. The person proposing can earn 100k and spend £10 on a ring (or not buy a ring at all) and it would be fine, as long as the recipient had a similar attitude to engagement rings.

It sounds like your friend and her fiance have different attitudes/expectations around her engagement ring - that's the issue, not how much he actually spent.

Netcam · 15/11/2024 07:52

I think it depends on what you want. I didn't want one, DH and I got matching gold band wedding rings for £100 each. We could have afforded more, but would prefer to keep money for other things. It's the relationship that's important, not the ring, to me at least.

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SlightlyGoneOff · 15/11/2024 07:54

Runnersandtoms · 15/11/2024 07:10

There is no 'acceptable' amount to spend and it's none of your business. Presumably if your friend isn't happy she can talk to her fiancé about it.

This. DH and I have lots of money and we never bought one.

Netcam · 15/11/2024 07:54

Copperoliverbear · 15/11/2024 07:36

Two months wages is the common rule of thumb for an engagement ring.

That's a huge amount. If DH had got me one and spent that much, I'd be walking round with a £7000 ring. I can think of a hundred things I'd rather we spent £7000 on.

Rocknrollstar · 15/11/2024 07:55

I never had an engagement ring. We were married in a registry office with 6 friends in attendance. No party, no honeymoon and no photographs. we’ve been married for nearly 60 years. What really matters is the person you are marrying.

Startinganew32 · 15/11/2024 07:56

Copperoliverbear · 15/11/2024 07:36

Two months wages is the common rule of thumb for an engagement ring.

gross or net?

howshouldibehave · 15/11/2024 07:58

reason I'm asking is a friend got engaged and was bought a ring for around 300 I looked it up at the time

Bizarre-that’s really nosy!

If she’s not happy, she can talk to him.

LoafofSellotape · 15/11/2024 08:01

Traditionally it's 2 months wages of his salary.

There's no way mine cost that but I love it so that's all that matters .

twomanyfrogsinabox · 15/11/2024 08:03

I thought you chose rings together these days, we did even in the olden days. My DH didn't spend a lot and I wouldn't have let him, there were better uses for the money.

Spirallingdownwards · 15/11/2024 08:07

Copperoliverbear · 15/11/2024 07:36

Two months wages is the common rule of thumb for an engagement ring.

As explained above this is nonsense that was perpetuated by a diamond company's advertising strategy and it appears you fell for it

Spirallingdownwards · 15/11/2024 08:07

LoafofSellotape · 15/11/2024 08:01

Traditionally it's 2 months wages of his salary.

There's no way mine cost that but I love it so that's all that matters .

Not traditionally ..... It is if you fell for an advertising campaign by a diamond company

vincettenoir · 15/11/2024 08:11

My dp was very nervous about the ring and got me an expensive one that he researched a lot and needed help choosing and I think it delayed him proposing. I would have been just as happy with something simpler and less expensive tbh.

Nothatgingerpirate · 15/11/2024 08:11

As much as you and your spouse can afford.
But everyone to their own.

PickAChew · 15/11/2024 08:12

To the jewellery trade, as much as they can squeeze out of you. To the couple, as much as they both want to spend. It should be one that she would enjoy wearing, whatever the price, though.

Nottodaty · 15/11/2024 08:12

My first ring was what we could afford at the time - it was around £80 22 years ago. When we married we had a very small wedding and again the rings reflected our lack of money at the time.

Once we could afford it we did replace all the rings but I will always treasure my original ring, it was something bought with love in mind not value.

KitsyWitsy · 15/11/2024 08:12

3-5k is my expectation if my boyfriend ever proposes. He could afford more but that would be pointless really. I’m not a flashy person. Less than 500 would be an absolute insult and would be what I’d pay myself for basic jewellery. It’s supposed to be special and forever isn’t it?! But we are both fairly well off and it’s different if you’re low income.

Conniebygaslight · 15/11/2024 08:15

Catapultaway · 15/11/2024 07:12

Why are you so sad that you have to look up the price of someone else's engagement ring. Id concentrate on yourself rather than others.

This. Who the hell looks up someone’s engagement ring?!!

maydaymayday1 · 15/11/2024 08:16

I know several friends who soon found out their 5/6k rings where worth nearly nothing when they tried to sell them.

Really opened my eyes. Just buy a nice simple ring you like.

PickAChew · 15/11/2024 08:17

Given that he seemed to feel pressured and she's unhappy about the ring and you're talking about them as if heir lives barely cross to resolve the issue, it's probably a good thing that he didn't spend 2 months salary on it.

Pickled21 · 15/11/2024 08:17

My engagement ring and wedding band cost dh £2200 as he bought them in the Christmas sale from Ernest Jones. At the time he earned £26k. He later said I could have gone for more expensive ones and perhaps I could have but I loved my rings then and 10 years later still love it now. I didn't want dh to spend outwith his means as we had a wedding to pay for too and asian weddings are expensive. Dh earns a lot more now and has offered me an upgrade which at some point I will consider getting but as I'd likely just want a bigger version of the ring I have I think it's not the best use of money at the moment. I'd like an updated bathroom more.

As for your friend, if she doesn't like it she should be able to talk to her fiancé and say that it isn't quite to her taste and could they go looking for a ring together. I have quite specific taste when it comes to jewellery and my dh definitely would have chosen something different to what I had envisioned so I asked that we go together. The fact that the she can't or won't talk to him despite not being happy with the ring doesn't bode well for them. It should be possible to have direct conversations (albeit handled sensitively) with your life partner.

Startinganew32 · 15/11/2024 08:19

I think the two months wages thing was set back when people got married at 19…

BackOnTheAntibiotics · 15/11/2024 08:19

Mine cost £895. It's a five stone ring as I love those. The stones are not huge but they have no inclusions and are stunning.

I wore it on the day he gave it to me and on my wedding day and I have never worn it or my wedding ring since. DH doesn't wear his wedding ring either. Neither of them fit us now. Mine is too small and his is too big.

I wish now, I had never asked for an engagement ring and just got married. It was a waste of money and quite honestly, I know they are in the house somewhere but I have no idea where and would have to search for them but the marriage has been amazing. An absolute blast although I am likely to lose him in the next 18 months. The best 22 years of my life. The rings are nearly meaningless by comparison to the marriage.

Letitgoe · 15/11/2024 08:20

If someone earns 45-50k and no debt (stable financially) I would say between 1k-2k on a ring would be normal in our social groups / work place

SlightlyGoneOff · 15/11/2024 08:20

BackOnTheAntibiotics · 15/11/2024 08:19

Mine cost £895. It's a five stone ring as I love those. The stones are not huge but they have no inclusions and are stunning.

I wore it on the day he gave it to me and on my wedding day and I have never worn it or my wedding ring since. DH doesn't wear his wedding ring either. Neither of them fit us now. Mine is too small and his is too big.

I wish now, I had never asked for an engagement ring and just got married. It was a waste of money and quite honestly, I know they are in the house somewhere but I have no idea where and would have to search for them but the marriage has been amazing. An absolute blast although I am likely to lose him in the next 18 months. The best 22 years of my life. The rings are nearly meaningless by comparison to the marriage.

Best wishes, @BackOnTheAntibiotics. That’s very touching.

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