Extended breastfeeding - how do you feel

[Feedingwondering]

Was in a situation today where I was judged negatively for still breastfeeding my DS, who is 3.5. I wanted to know how common these attitudes are - I’ve never really thought about it because how long we choose to breastfeed for is the business of no one but mum and baby, but it made me wonder what other people think/feel. No judgement on how anyone feels about it, I’m just interested.

I'm all for it. Couldn't BF my eldest, currently 2.5, and I can see how useful being able to offer the solace of a boob could be when upset, or feed to sleep instead of lying next to him for hours. Dummy helped a lot in both situations but that had to go a while back for worries about teeth and he kept biting them. I am successfully feeding youngest currently 9m and I intend to do so as long as she wants to. I imagine I'd be stopping before 5 though.

I know loads of people (myself included) who fed until 2-2.5. No one ever said anything about it, or not to my face at least 🤷‍♀️

I've not known anyone who was still feeding at 3.5, but I do wonder how many people only feed at home by that stage because of negative judgement.

I bf'd in public 'till DS was 3 and everybody was really positive about it and encouraging. People used to constantly give me a thumbs up or a big smile and say "great! well done". It was a good idea tbh because it kept DS content and he would have been making huge row otherwise.

Only exceptions - one middle aged lady in the cafe at a National Trust property who saw me and was so shocked that she did a massive whole-body double take and rushed off to tell her DH. She then came back and stared like a child. It was hard not to laugh.

Also DM and DF who were mortified, which really surprised me. DM banned me from going to church when I visited home and said primly "if you must bf when in church you can always go to the vestry to do it." She just didn't get it at all. DS bf'd all the darn time and if I'd had to go to the vestry I'd have had to spend the whole service there. One time DF told me off for bf in their garden and it was hilarious because there was literally no one around for miles. No one. They were really so embarrased by it. I never really understood why because my DM exclusively breast fed me. I think in those days they have to stop while the baby was still a baby. Maybe that was it.

I think it's brilliant, but I'm still feeding my 2.5 yo with no plans to stop. I'd be cheering you on if I saw you feeding out and about!

My LO doesn't tend to feed in the daso amymore so I'm not sure other people are aware that we're still breastfeeding.

I think breastfeeding is marvellous for babies; but at 3.5 he is not a baby, so why continue?

On thing I've learned tbh is that being a mother means you need one heck of a thick skin. The longer I'm in the job, the closer I come to resemble a rhino.

I literally don’t care. I never BF mine beyond a week for the eldest but I have absolutely zero opinion on what anyone else does

Also many feeding toddlers will be doing it a lot less, so only really feeding at home. I fed DC1 until age 3 and DC2 until nearly 5. From about 15m onwards this was only morning and evening, dropping to once a day a bit later on. Not many people knew, as it was just part of the bedtime routine, and it only occasionally came up in conversation.

I'd think you're a hero. I bf til over 2yrs but found it relentless.

@DinnaeFashYerself hold onto your have, you're about to get told that it's perfectly normal to breastfeed until your adult teeth are in as that's why they're called milk teeth and it's totally normal
To breastfeed til 9+

I have 3 Dc.. I'm still feeding my 2 year old and fed my other two until they were 3.

Attitudes are changing I think. My eldest is almost 10 now. Attitudes were quite negative I found back then. I hardly spoke about it and never fed in public. If I mentioned it, people would look at me like I had 3 heads. Second DC I fed whilst pregnant and tandem fed.. again people were surprised I was still feeding if I mentioned it.

I had the 2 year check today with the health visitor and she said she is coming across more people who are feeding at 2. Lots of people I know are still feeding at 2 which is great!!

Personally for me I stopped at 3. I used their birthday as a distraction and excuse 'you're a big girl now'..
I wanted to stop at 3 as starting nursery, I felt it was the right time. You have to stop at some point!

I don't think negatively of others who chose to feed longer..

Hat not have

The average weaning age around the world is about 4. So 3.5 is in the U.K. is great.

Bf is also very good for protecting mother’s health too. I’d be willing to bet anyone who was part of this bad experience is totally ignorant around the subject.

All for it, just a bit of milk isn’t it. I’m still feeding my nearly two year old, although I have no need to feed outside as he only feeds first thing and then before bed.

As previous poster said, I don’t know how many people are aware we’re still bf’ing but I’ve personally not received negative comments.

Once my son hit a year old, I had a few family and friends asking if I had plans to stop, to which I replied no and that was the end of it really.

I’ll never understand people that “judge” breastfeeding but will happily drink milk from a cow themselves, to me it’s the same thing!

It's common for people to have an opinion on natural term breastfeeding. Wise cracks of bitty and other hilarious crap. Saying it's just for babies, usually from those who bottle fed so are incapable of getting it. Saying it's for the mother than the kid. The odd bloke who thinks it's sexual 🙄and so on.

Tell them that if people keep obsessing over your tits, you're going to add another month on

I’m terribly jealous. I wasn’t able to breastfeed DS at all despite trying for fully two months, and it took me years to forgive myself. If you see a curly-haired woman looking darkly at you feeding, I’m not disapproving, I’m just reminding myself my son is 12, and beautiful. And I should get past it.

I stopped my oldest at 3y 9 months because his brother was 9 months and I felt I might end up weaning the youngest before the oldest was willing to stop 😂

it was only before bed and in need/comfort so usually at home. I think family just accepted it as just the way it was but recommended stopping rather than tandem feeding. When I went in for hospital appointments for the pregnancy I was basically applauded as highly unusual, including after he was born and I was expressing while he was in nicu

I fed my son till 23 months (when I was 20 weeks pregnant with his sister). Night weaned about a month before that so it was just the bedtime feed.

Planning the same with my daughter who is now 19 months and have only recently reduced down her day feeds and persuading her to have a snack or a drink when she asks. I’m definitely at the point where I would feel awkward to do it in front of others now. She still has a feed before nap, at bedtime and if she wakes in the night.

It’s felt right to me mainly because I’ve wanted them to get to another way of going to sleep to give a bit more balance for my husband and I sharing bedtimes.

I thought it was weird until I was breastfeeding a 3 year old. I think it’s easy to be judgemental over something you don’t or can’t understand. I’ve breastfed for one day (DS1), 3yr 3mo (DS2) and 3yr 7mo (DS3 .. so far!!). I can’t get DS3 to stop, over the past few weeks I’ve managed to limit it to once in the morning. But was on holiday in October and bf around the pool etc, I really don’t know if anyone was looking or cared but I certainly don’t!

Did someone actually say something, or was it just a look, open to misinterpretation?

I BFed til 24mo for my first, and five years for my second. I had nothing but positivity. I try and do positivity smiles and nods at BFers, especially with older children, hopefully without coming across as a weirdo 😂

Crack on, and well done!

I breastfed DD until she was 4 yrs 9 months. I didn't tend to feed her in public much beyond 3 though. Our friends and family knew she was still being bf and no-one said anything (to my face at least).

Generally, if it was discussed with people I didn't know so well, the response was usually slight surprise but overall positive.

My dd is almost 2 and still bfing a fair amount. Makes no difference to me, it's always at home. I don't plan to stop until she wants to or if I get fed up with it, whichever is first

I’m still breastfeeding my 2.5 year old. I would never judge you for feeding in public! Not just because I’m feeding , but because I had never planned/thought I would feed for this long. I didn’t even realise it was a thing! So it’s made me re evaluate my assumptions around motherhood.

like others though, my toddler really only feeds at home these days - evening, nighttime , morning. So I don’t have to out myself, so to speak, every other bloody day in public. Honestly , other people are tiresome. Other people’s opinions on parenting are the worst.

My friend breastfed until hers was 6.5
I thought that was quite a while . Also the child breastfed through the night and I guess I thought the child should have been able to just sleep all night.
But you know, who cares.

Breastfed my son until he was 4. In public until he was about 2.5 and after that was only at night. Couldn't give a monkeys what anyone else thinks.