Extended breastfeeding - how do you feel

[Feedingwondering]

Was in a situation today where I was judged negatively for still breastfeeding my DS, who is 3.5. I wanted to know how common these attitudes are - I’ve never really thought about it because how long we choose to breastfeed for is the business of no one but mum and baby, but it made me wonder what other people think/feel. No judgement on how anyone feels about it, I’m just interested.

I fed my first for 2 years 9 months and my second for 5.5 years. My experience is that most people are fine with 2/3 years but once you get over 4 they freak out. When I was expecting my first one midwife asked if I breastfed the first two and for how long. She congratulated me on feeding the first but winced when I told her about feeding the second to 5.5 years.

I would never ever say anything and I would defend a woman if anyone was criticising her for bf in public literally at any age. But personally 4+ feels too old I can’t imagine breastfeeding my 4 year old now!

It was more unusual when mine were younger.

I think people think it is weird to still be breast feeding aged a couple of months after the time they gave up and kid is over 12 months or so.

Eg ds gave up feeding at 2.5, so I'd say three seems "weird" because it's well past what I did and it's hard to imagine what its like. (It's not, it's an example)

And I find it weird that someone thinks that hot chocolate is healthier than breastmilk. Each to their own

I think most people in the uk definitely find it weird. I've received poor comments from breastfeeding at 18mo.

I think you should do what works for you. Breastfeeding makes my life so much easier. Why not...

I felt judged feeding my DD after she was 3, but mainly by my DH. I didn't really feed in public at that age so no one else would see.

Out of interest where did you get that data on the average weaning age?

I wish I'd known more on the subject when I had mine. I fed the eldest until she was a year old, and stopped because I wanted to get pregnant again. 2nd time, I got to the year mark and my asthma flared up, so I needed steroids according to my GP. I couldn't have taken them and bf, so I took her advice and stopped. I remember her saying to me, "do you not think you've done it for long enough?"!!

3rd broke my heart be self-weaning at 22 months, just flatly refused! It was probably for the best because they'd be feeding several times a night, but I wasn't ready to stop!

For me personally I don't agree with it when the child is older - say 2 or whatever- and they're heavily breastfed to the extent it affects them eating food.

I breastfed both mine until 8 months. I never really loved it and they both started to reject it in favour of the bottle. Happy days, I felt so much healthier after that.

I wouldn't ever comment negatively on anyone breastfeeding for a long time. Secretly I think it's a bit odd but know I'm BU so so would never ever comment.

I stopped at 3.5 as she started school nursery and I was worried she'd mention it and have issues but by then we were down to one feed a day and she wasn't particularly bothered to stop

I breastfed ds until he was 22 months old but I definitely started to feel weirdly ashamed about it for quite a few months before I stopped.

I remember when he was 17 months old telling a close friend that I felt I 'ought' to stop but that ds still very much seemed to want and need it. She exclaimed "No! He's still very small," which reassured me, but I think my insecurity about continuing to breastfeed arose from my family's lightly veiled distaste for it. They were enthusiastically all for it up until about his first birthday.

Honestly at 3.5 I think it's more about the mum than the child.

But it's your kid and your body so 🤷‍♀️

I did a year for all three, the last two were twins but that doesn’t seem that long now reading this thread.
I think you should do whatever you are comfortable with and no one has a right to judge that

I breastfed my son until he was almost 4, and I’m sure he only stopped because I was pregnant! I think people who judge extended breastfeeding are ridiculous, especially if they suggest moving on to cows milk- because drinking another species’ milk is more normal in their eyes!

I heard this a few times, even when my youngest was only one. What do you mean it's more about the mum? It makes no sense to me. What do you think the mum is getting out of it? Do you think we're forcing it on kids who aren't that bothered?

Don't care what other people do but I was so ready to stop when DC was just over 1 personally and she self weaned pretty easily thankfully.

So it wouldn't be for me - my DC also seemed massive on my lap even at 14 months! - but each to their own.

I bf dc2 until they were 4. We'd had an awful couple of years, they liked the comfort (it was just bedtime by that point, and I think just bed, wake up and nappies since before they were 3) but they didn't want to stop and I felt no need to tell them to. When I did want to stop, I just said that we would have a really big cuddle at bedtime, they complained a bit but were fine. No issue with eating or drinking.

It doesn't very often come up in conversation but I never feel embarrassed that I bf for that long. When dc1 was born I thought bfing past 6 months was odd! But continued until they were about 18 months, stopped as the sensitivity when i was pregnant again was too much.

This is the bit I don't understand about it. A child of that age has no need for milk through the night and I do struggle to see how it isn't bad for their teeth.

Don't studies show it is beneficial for teeth to feed up until one but over two ish it can contribute to decay?

Before bed I can understand but I can't see it is good to allow an older child to have breast milk on demand when they wouldn't get any other snacks this way.

It's not about the act of breastfeeding itself but treating children in ways appropriate to their age and so I do roll my eyes at people talking to a four year old like they are a baby when they ask for it (maybe not everyone does this but everyone I have known who fed to those kind of ages did).

Great job for reaching 3.5yrs OP! EBF is just lovely, so beneficial through toddler meltdowns/injuries etc.
All of ours have been EBF, the first two 15mo and 18mo. Second two were tandem-fed and I stopped at 6yrs 10 mo and 5yo. Fifth little one still going strong at 12mo until ready to self wean.
After around 2yo I usually nurse mostly at home and older than that just at bedtime.

I fed DS until just over three when he just stopped by himself. Didn't feed in public past about 18 months though as he'd continually attempt to get the other boob out which is wearing when in a cafe.

I breastfed my three children until they were around 12 months. At this time, they lost interest in breastfeeding themselves. From 12 months I spent ages with each of them, looking at books, singing to them, and teaching them nursery rhymes. This took over from breastfeeding gradually.

I know you can do both but with three children my priority was to teach them to love books and learning.

I’m not sure that continuing to breastfeed, once a child is having a balanced diet, lots of attention and cuddles, serves any useful purpose.

Wow this is amazing with 5 DC! I was so sick of it after a year with just one DC and totally touched out. To be honest, it felt good to have my breasts back. I couldn't have my DH go near my breasts for a long time afterwards and completely lost my sex drive while breastfeeding.

I'm very pro-breastfeeding for babies, but was certain I didn't want to still be breastfeeding a toddler. I always planned to wean them by a year, so when the older ones self-weaned at nine and eight months I was happy. I had to stop breastfeeding my youngest at four months and that felt much too soon.

Extended breastfeeding wasn't for me. The thought of breastfeeding a child who can walk and talk makes me feel uncomfortable. I wouldn't dream of saying anything, each to their own, but there it is.

The nhs guidelines now say to feed "until 2 and beyond", but many people won't know or have known this. Breastfeeding is now known to lower the mother's risk of female cancers -
The risk decreases each year you feed. Plus there are now studies out showing a decrease in anxiety and depression in young adults who were breastfed vs those who weren't. This info was gleaned from Emma someone or other who is a breastfeeding ILLBC who specialises in weaning and has an instagram page - I'll try to add the link.

I'm still feeding DS2 at 3 years 2 months and have no plans to stop. He only feeds at bedtime and if he wakes in the night, and I don't think it's anyone else's concern