Extended breastfeeding - how do you feel

[Feedingwondering]

Was in a situation today where I was judged negatively for still breastfeeding my DS, who is 3.5. I wanted to know how common these attitudes are - I’ve never really thought about it because how long we choose to breastfeed for is the business of no one but mum and baby, but it made me wonder what other people think/feel. No judgement on how anyone feels about it, I’m just interested.

Thank you for so many supportive and respectful comments. I find it fascinating to read such varying opinions, even those I don’t agree with. Like a lot of people still feeding at this age, because DS is 3.5 I never really feed out the house anymore - one feed to sleep and one first thing in the morning - we both get so much from it, it’s been/is my greatest parenting tool and the benefits are endless. After a very traumatic NICU stay I’m really proud of how far we’ve come after a rocky start. I’m not sure when we’ll stop, when we’re both ready I suppose.
So today’s comments actually came from a GP.. I was there about a totally non-related issue, and after mentioning in passing about still feeding, was met with a really negative reaction, questions on “why on Earth I was still feeding”, exactly when I was planning on stopping and “please tell me he’s not still night feeding”. The appointment ended with suggestions that my unrelated illness was because I am so tired due to the decision to keep feeding - that essentially I was doing me and him no favours. I was really tearful afterwards - and wondered if someone trusted to give health advice could be so ill-informed and judgemental, was that reflective of more people than I assumed? Because until today I’ve had nothing but positivity.

These comments are encouraging. My son is 3 now and my mum looks mortified when she sees him feeding now. She looks so uncomfortable, tells me there's no further benefits for baby and its detrimental to my health

Sorry not baby toddler, just used to typing that a lot. I plan to stop soon though but it's difficult.

How do you EBF at those ages. Aren't they having food as well?

I thought this but assume PP meant no formula to supplement?

@HowYouSpellingThat10 EBF just means their primary milk is breast milk, not that they don’t eat food. Even at 6 months when a baby starts weaning if they’re only having breastmilk as their milk they’re considered EBF.

I find the ‘they don’t need it at 3 it’s pointless’ arguments so bizarre. Nutritionally and developmentally it’s the best thing they could drink/eat… and yet wee Sally has a few glasses of wine on a Friday and this is ok! Or adults having chocolate.. makes them feel good/comforted/safe. Makes no sense.

Also wierd that humans find it more acceptable to drink a cow’s breast milk than a humans for an infant.

@Mumofgirls24 exclusively breastfed actually does mean only breastmilk and no solids, so before weaning. So you are mistaken I'm afraid. Google it if you need to.

@bakewellbride I don’t need to google it, this is what all health visitors do in our little red books. Exclusively breastfed should be ticked if they only have breast milk rather than formula or cows milk regardless of age.

I carried on with one of mine till 3.5yo but as it was only morning and evening after about a year (not because of judgement but being back at work). However by the end it was just habit and one day I decided not to offer it any more and that was the end of that, I didn't miss it in fact by that point it was a relief to stop.

@Mumofgirls24 "Exclusively breastfed should be ticked if they only have breast milk" - this was my whole point! So now you've back tracked and changed your answer to agree with me. Exclusively breastfeeding is just breastmilk and no solids (originally you were saying an exclusively breastfed baby can have solids too).

Still breastfeeding at 2 years old here. Not often outside of home, when I did recently in a play cafe another mum came over to say it was great to see and she also intended to still be breastfeeding at this age.

I think toddlers running around with dummies in their mouths is awful, so maybe other people have the same feelings about breastfeeding toddlers...

Sadly most GPs have barely any training in BF.
I would write a letter to the practice manager and suggest they do some CPD on infant feeding. They could get it from the GP infant feeding network. As I commented before it does not surprise me it was from
someone with little or no education about BF

Tell her to research Bf and ovarian cancer.

Not disagreeing with the concept - but just wondering what your source is on the 4 year average weaning globally?

If you Google there are various studies and papers around it.

In many countries the rate of Bf at 1 year old is around 98% so you can see how say in those places it would naturally continue for much longer.

Would you mind posting a link?

I think it's amazing. I bf my first for a year, my second for three years and then my third for three years. Youngest caught bronciolitis as 3 day old newborn. It hospitalised her but we had already established bfeeding by then so I continued to feed her, even whilst she was on cpap!

Afterwards our GP was adamant she'd have asthma so I do wonder whether the intense breastfeeding helped her fight the chest infection!

She hardly gets a bug now at 13 years old. Conversely my brother's dd gets regular chest infections, literally every bug floors her, she regularly needs antibiotics and an inhaler. Her mum refused to bf her at all because, in her own words, she didn't want to stop going out drinking or for her boobs to change 🤷‍♀️

Sorry I went off on a tangent there but my point is what you're doing is simply exactly what you should be doing. There's nothing more natural and beneficial than feeding your young child.

@bakewellbride are you ok? 😂

OP sorry for the weirdness. Regardless of definitions which don’t really matter - you’re doing great and what works for your family! Keep doing that! 🩷

In my opinion I wouldn't do it because It didn't sit well with me. I don't judge anyone that shuts do it tho.

That's only my OPINION

I think you're an absolute hero. I'm still breastfeeding my 18 month old and he's doing my head in with the grabbing, slapping and poking.

Are they a bit better behaved at 2/3? 🫣

In your specific circumstances it might be time to stop as it might help if you are tired. Lots of other ways to stay close to preschoolers. Reading stories, doing art etc

DD2 is still breastfeeding at 5.10yo. Not very often now, every 3 or 4 days on average, she's definitely weaning. I didn't plan on it, don't love it but weaning will happen and it's a tiny amount of time in the scheme of things.

I've told plenty of health professionals she's breastfeeding usually when discussing medication for me and rarely had a negative reaction.

I’m currently EBF my 5 month old. I can’t imagine going as long as you though; no way!

I wouldn’t be rude or say anything negative to you about it, I 100% believe it’s up to the Mum and we are all free to make our own choices but seeing as you asked, the thought does make me a bit uncomfortable and I’m not sure why. I think maybe I feel like when they’re that age, they don’t need it for the nutrition and there are other ways to comfort them, I do think it’s more for the Mum than child at that age. Happy to be told otherwise though!

Something I'd say is that very few people who feed to natural term start out planning to. If you'd asked me early on I'd have said six months max. But when you're in the day to day you don't really notice them getting bigger, and it's just continuing to feed your child, not like you're suddenly randomly feeding a 3 year old out of nowhere. So it doesn't feel weird or gross like I thought it would.

I highly doubt many women ever continue to feed for their own benefit alone. Let's face it, breastfeeding is hard work and takes its toll in many ways. Most women continue because, as acknowledged by the NHS and the WHO, breastfeeding continues to be beneficial to your child as long as you continue. Lots of benefits for the child including nutritional and immunological. It's also a complete lifesaver when they're off at nursery or whatever and start to get poorly. They might be so poorly they're refusing food and drink, but will usually still nurse. Similarly it's not uncommon to hear that with a stomach bug the only thing they can keep down is breastmilk.

Yes there are benefits to me statistically in terms of reducing my cancer chances, but I'm absolutely not doing it for my own benefit. Tbh I'd rather stop at this point, but I am happy to continue whilst it benefits my child.

Yes it becomes much easier to instill feeding manners as they start to undertake more.