Why is all MN kids are super clever/talented?

[BlackOrangeFrog]

So, Other People's Kids will do something like...
Be free reader around 8 or 9. But all of MN kids are fluent readers at 5.

OPKs can swim 10m around 7/8 .. MNs? Well they did that at 4 and are now swimming 2k at 7/8

Oh your kid managed to add 8+2 in their head at 6? Well the MN child could do this at 3.

I think a lot of people are lying.

It’s also funny how everyone has stunningly beautiful kids on here too! I think mammy googles could be at play 90% of the time….🤔

I kind of assumed that my kids would be better at everything than I was, because I had the benefit of being more educated and better off than my parents and was more in touch with the ways of the world.

But I hadn't factored in personalities. Or lack of drive.

Neither of my kids is sporty, creative or musical. But then, must of the kids who were sporty at school tended not to be sporty adults, whereas I discovered exercise in my 20s.

And having taught for far too many years, most of that stuff doesn't really matter anyway. You can sound utterly amazing in your personal statement for uni, but it's still down to the grades. And even then, if you want to go to uni, somewhere will take you. The hard bit is getting a degree apprenticeship. But grade 8 in clarinet won't help you there.

If we could go back to maths for a moment...

A child who memorised their times tables early on will probably already have noticed that 7x8 and 8x7 both = 56 and will then be able to grasp many other mathematical concepts far more easily - including being more able to understand the 'why'. They will also do sums much more quickly using their ingrained knowledge, and will make fewer mistakes. Times table knowledge is also fundamental in the ability to do mental arithmetic.

Someone who knows their times tables off by heart will be able to answer many questions in a flash. Such as 'It takes three hours to travel 40 miles. John has travelled 80 miles, how long did it take him?'.
They will immediately be able to spot that 80 miles is 40 miles x 2, so the time taken must be 3 hours x 2 so the answer has to be 6 hours.

Other kids will probably still be wondering who John is, and where he was going.

I think the cruellest thing about parenting is that you only find out whether or not you were any good at it when your kids are about 30yrs old!!

I really would not feel envious of anyone that looks to have the early years nailed. The choppy waters of adolescence can be very rocky indeed and, depending who they mix with as teens and how their brain matures, you are at risk of them going off the rails altogether before they even hit adulthood.

Congratulate yourself if you have an 18yr old to be proud of. Job done!

But all your great work is at risk of being thrown back in your face when your young person meets partners that have very different ideas and convinces your pride and joy that all his current issues stem from faulty parenting!!!

As the poem by Philip Larkin goes:

They fuck you up

Your Mum and Dad

They don't mean to

But they do.

They fill you up with all their faults

And add some extra

Just for you!!!!

So true!

OMG consultants definitely do this!

And teachers

@Nightscroller1 mn has been an invaluable tool for me helping similar dc.

Look at alternatives to help them if possible.
Unfortunately our school system won't be able to support them.

I would say so too. There are a few really great swimmers in my son's class but then they have their own swimming pool so it's to be expected I guess!

I would say my kids are fab at some stuff (reading and vocabulary) barrage at other stuff and not great at some stuff.
Surely that's the same for everyone?

You're forgetting the other things in this though.

Plenty of children can work out number bonds and addition from 3. But many of those may have delayed gross motor skills or poor literacy.

Lots of kids swim 2k at 7/8 years old. If your child started lesson with a swimming club LTS programme by 7/8 they are usually in an intro squad swimming 2/3 times a week for 45 mins.

Many will read early but they will have poorer social skills.

It's not uncommon for most children to have a talent in something at a young age but equally they are likely to have a delay elsewhere counteracting that.

It's not just on MN. It's RL. Working in education and with a son who's a swimmer I see it all the time!!!!!

Oh and the swimming one is also misleading.

My ds couldn't do some strokes (always good freestyler) and took ages to have the confidence to leave the small pool for even the shallow end of the main pool. Started club swimming late, was always one of oldest in his (small club). Not a kid anyone ever thought would be a swimmer.

Except he now competes for 🇬🇧!

It's the faux naivete in posters I despise. Was on a thread recently about an exceptional piece of writing and the amount of posters replying that the author was 7 and shock that people thought it was a teenager.

The refusal of parents to see average as perfectly acceptable is one of the hardest changes in teaching over my 22 year career.

Thanks for saying it. If you listen to mumsnetters, either their kid is Olympic level at age 5 or they’re diagnosing your kid with SEN because you asked about something that was probably appropriate for their age.

In the younger years that is a lot more of a spread of ability. Once they get to teen years it evens out a lot more so labelling a child as gifted or talented at age 3 doesnt really mean much.

For example all 3 of my children were walking very confidently by 10 months. My nephew didnt walk at all until 18 months. Now they are teenagers you would have no ideas who was an 'early' walker and none of mine are very sporty!

I do comment on posts about early readers as my eldest was one, in fact he could free read really really early but we didn't realise as he didnt utter a single word until he was 2.5! He has ASD traits although is very high functioning. He still cant do things like tie his lace properly and also wasn't fully toilet trained until he was 7. My other kids are just 'normal' so I don't think its me exaggerating my eldest abilities but I dont comment on posts about brilliant swimming or joining the county rugby team etc as none of mine are good at any of that so I will only post on threads about early readers or late toilet training as that is what my experience has been.

Some kids are great at sports and academics. I’ve got one who is. She did read fluently by 5, speaks 3 languages and is learning one more, swam 2k in a swimathon at 7, etc. She’s a great musician, got an academic scholarship, yadayadayada.

She’s also an introvert with autism. Socially she needs a hell of a lot of coaching to understand social situations and rules. She is poor at nuance She is not arty.

But those latter things aren’t easily quantifiable so people don’t mention them so much on Mumsnet.

I think all those things,are pretty normal to be honest.I mean most of those things depend on the parent and not the child, for example hiw often you take them swimming and if you teach them to read and count before they start school

I will day MN kids seem to be well behind real-life kids in terms of independence, resourcefulness and resilience.

I always wonder how, when the birthrate is 1.4 per woman, there are so many mners with 5+ children, and then expecting twins ( always boy/girl) and triplets! But yes, I think it's partly because of the volume of people and partly fantasists/liars.

Lots of parents think their child is amazing but other can plainly see they really aren’t at all. I’ve seen this in children’s football, I feel sorry for the child because they believe the hype. A truly gifted child is lets their ability do the talking not their parents.
Mumsnet is full of parents that have perfected the humble brag. It’s funny really.

This is a big site, these won't all be the same children.

For example mine read well and early, are pretty rubbish at swimming and have one good/one average at maths.

Also parents probably encourage those things they themselves are interested in. Thus a swimmer will encourage their children to swim early, and also will be more inclined to respond to a swimming thread

I agree with the person who said intelligence is overrated. I was a very "boast worthy" child/teen - reading at 4, tested IQ of over 140, went to Oxbridge at 17 etc.. I struggle to find any employment at all as my social skills are absolute shit and I've had bad MH my whole life.

Either that or they're nonverbal SEN. I'm sure that there aren't that many in the whole of the UK as there seems to be on Mumsnet.

I'm not mocking anyone who has a child in that state but I don't think all posters who claim this are.

Fantastic post.

And I think it's quite telling that discussions have cropped up on this thread about (for example - sorry to pick you out) whether knowing times tables at x age is a sign of giftedness or 'just' of good memory. It shows how deeply we're invested in our children being outstanding/special/a credit to us (because, make no mistake, this is about us, not them).

edit: my typing is certainly nothing outstanding <eyeroll>

I suspect parents of children with SN would be more likely than average to frequent a parenting forum.

It is funny. Mine are bog standard average.

I do genuinely have a 14 year old who's over 6 feet though (his dad is 6'5 so not that surprising).