Why is all MN kids are super clever/talented?

[BlackOrangeFrog]

So, Other People's Kids will do something like...
Be free reader around 8 or 9. But all of MN kids are fluent readers at 5.

OPKs can swim 10m around 7/8 .. MNs? Well they did that at 4 and are now swimming 2k at 7/8

Oh your kid managed to add 8+2 in their head at 6? Well the MN child could do this at 3.

I think a lot of people are lying.

My son is 6'4, can I have a medal?
Daughter is only about 5'5 though so maybe not...

Mine swam 3k at about age 9 ....but age 20 she still can't cope well with stairs.

It is a massive selection effect and there are loads of people on mumsnet. So if there is a thread on early readers you will get loads of people replying how their kids read early. Or you will get people with the complete opposite whose children are taking longer to read. Those who are middle are probably not going to respond to the thread.

MN has historically attracted wealthier mums via the ivf boards. You also have different cultures so the way they treat ‘being ahead’ is different. Eg If my DS was told at 3 by a teacher that he was reading at the level of of a 6 year old, that wouldn’t be a compliment in my eyes but a sign that the expectations for 6 yo should be higher.

Having said that MN overall does seem to have really low expectations for swimming. I don’t understand the logic of not having kids learn how to swim as soon as possible / giving up just as they become semi-competant. Swimming is something I was raised to view as vital and to keep going until 18z

My DD got her 25m badge at just turned 4yo... it wasn't proper swimming, it was underwater swimming as 4yos can't coordinate the arms properly at that age. That wasn't the UK system, they weren't as bothered by technical strokes until older.

I sometimes think my children must be a bit dim... I thought DD being on track for 6s and 7s in her GCSEs was good, being similar to the As and Bs I got for example. But on here its suggested that anything less than an 8 is pointless.

They are also all super tall & stunning 🤔

And slim.

I think intelligence is overrated. If I look around at my work the people who have shot to the very top aren't the most intelligent by some margin. In the age of AI etc. social skills, creativity etc. will be far more important than "traditional intelligence".

I'd like my daughter to be intelligent but much more concerned about her overall development and wellbeing.

I spent my entire childhood studying, reading and stressing about school. I really wish I hadn't bothered! I'd certainly be happier now if I had.

Most adults are average so it all balances out in the end.

Expectations for reading differ depending on childcare settings. At nurseries children often start learning phonics at 2 depending on interest and so by 3-4 they could very well be reading independantly at the level of a 6 year old. Similarly a lot of Asian kids come into Reception having memorised their timestables up to 5. As MN is a mix of different cultures it’s normal for there to be massive cultural differences.

Don't forget most MN earn 6 figure salaries and/or 'very senior'

Where are all the normal people?!

And of course they are all tall and slim too.

DS is 4 and is hopeless at every stroke except dolphin (not sure why but he gets it) and is desperate to try to swim 25m with it but his swimming teacher won’t even test him on it until he can manage the floats for front crawl. It’s so frustrating for him lol.

I could read before I started school and could swim 1k at 5-6yrs. My DS is the complete opposite. Still can barely read and he’s in double figures, can’t swim for toffee, is not well liked and doesn’t have any particular talent.

"definitely do simple adding like that st 4 years old (not 3). He could also swim 25 metres at 5 years old. I don't think either of these things are that amazing though"

But that IS amazing. Most kids can barely float at 5. You're could swim an entire length if the pool.

This is what I mean. Your child is good at swimming and maths, and not average at all, but by commenting "oh it's not great" makes people thinks their children who can't yet swim 10m at 6 is somehow behind. Rather than "don't fret he should be there by 7 or 8"

Every child is beautiful first and bright next it seems

Well mine are average academically and my son is pretty lazy. And I'm not going to follow this with the usual 'but' either (but she is the kindest person I ever met/but he's an amazing musician/but she is so funny, etc etc.). I think they're mostly great but objectively they are average/grand and not special across anything really. That's ok, I'm nothing special either, the world is made of largely of shades of ordinary.

I feel for him, poor little chap. I wasn't much liked until midway through secondary school when a New Girl arrived who didn't know I should be mysteriously shunned. Still friends with her decades later!

See, memorising times tables at 4 or whatever is pointless, unless they have an actual grasp of numbers, how they're related and the composition. They may as well be reciting the Martian Alphabet.

Surely swimming is pretty much down to when you start lessons, and how often you go at other times? Which is very varied between families.

Because it’s like Lake Wobegone, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

I have 3 children with disabilities and one big plus of that is that it makes you throw all that competitive nonsense out the window and value everyone for their unique qualities and gifts. Even our most profoundly disabled child ( non verbal and totally dependant for all his needs ) radiates personality and draws people to himself just by existing.

All children have gifts and strengths and they can be valued for then surely .
And as others have said I take some of the posts on here with a huge pinch of salt.

Doesn't Mumsnet have something like a million registered users? So statistically there will be some children who are very advanced, do excel in school, fantastic at sport, be really tall or slim or beautiful. They won't all have all those attributes though, posters will only post about the particular thing that their child is outstanding at.

It also depends highly on what posts you look at. I do see those posts but I also see a huge number of people posting about their children's special needs, whereas in real life I've rarely encountered a child who has those issues.

It's the same with the salary threads, I see people posting about earning over 100k and I believe them( despite posters saying it can't be true) because I come from a family and friends group where that's a normal type of salary and I know quite a few who earn way more than that. But I actually see many many more posts from people who are having financial difficulties, so I don't think it comes across as Mumsnet being full of well off people, I'd actually say it was more skewed towards the opposite.

Therefore I doubt posters are making it up, it's just that there is a huge variety of people on here and what posts you look at is your choice thus not unbiased.

not lying at all with my trio, and certainly no sign of lying with the grand kids either.
it all depends on your lifestyle, i lived very remotely with no day care or family but keys to a full length pool, by 3 and 2 years of age, they were confident swimmers diving for toys and chasing floating balls across the entire pool. the newborn was at the same level by 3.
again reading my trio attended a small village school with less than 20 per class and loads of volunteer parents definitely two were free readers by 5, the other struggled a bit more but certainly not 8 by the time he was reading independently, i spotted the 3 and 4 year old reading single words independently and progressing quickly btw they learned using whole language.
adding yes again we spotted the 3 year old adding independently one day at the Philadelphia airport. Smarties were on offer and with 3 kids i can guarantee you he knew 5+3 was 8, that 8 smarties was more than 4 smarties and if i gave him 4 smarties he would need 4 more to have 8 like his sister and brother.
all you need is involved and attentive parents who have some remote inkling on child development.
grandkids spent all summer in france with no fencing around the pool...i can guarantee you they were swimming by 3.

It won't be the same people posting on the same threads...so for example, I could post about DS1s early reading or swimming badges but I wouldn't post about his music grades (because he never practised his keyboard so I let him quit and do extra football instead)

DS2 (4) is I think average at swimming, he can manage about 3/4 metres without a pool noodle. There are plenty of 6/7 year olds managing whole lengths at his swimming lessons though.