Why is all MN kids are super clever/talented?

[BlackOrangeFrog]

So, Other People's Kids will do something like...
Be free reader around 8 or 9. But all of MN kids are fluent readers at 5.

OPKs can swim 10m around 7/8 .. MNs? Well they did that at 4 and are now swimming 2k at 7/8

Oh your kid managed to add 8+2 in their head at 6? Well the MN child could do this at 3.

I think a lot of people are lying.

Mine will be lucky if she scrapes a couple of GCSEs, but I know what you mean!

If you ask a question then anyone is free to answer. If the only people that answered were people with children who couldn't swim well, you wouldn't get a true representation either. Maybe some people lie but that is the chance you take with using a forum for the sort of thing you mean. It's better to ask your family and friends who you trust, or maybe your child's swimming teacher in this example.

Some people's children will swim or read or play an instrument well at an early age. Those posters are not responsible for where your child is on those things and are free to post just as much as those with children who can do less. It sounds like you only want to hear from people whose children aren't as able at swimming or whatever.

Earlier today I had to use Tweezers to dislodge popcorn from one of my dc's nostril.

We haven't had popcorn in the house for weeks so I guess I can brag about my children's resourceful nature.

Isn't it great that parents see the best in their kids? My two just landed the lead roles in the school musical. I am absolutely over the moon and want to shout it from the rooftops, I'm that proud. DS could read at 3 (yes I swear) and was extremely advanced in some ways but struggled in others, has autism and dyspraxia and was badly bullied when 8 and 9. He doesnt bother with people he doesnt like and can be difficult socially. But I think he is amazing! Dd (11) is the world's most positive child, she is a real little Pollyanna and can see the silver lining in any scenario. She works hard and wants to be her best self. Her disposition and natural motivation are her super powers and she will do well in life. Ds1 is a great athlete excelling in a particular sport, he is extremely disciplined and focused, he is also quite self obsessed and materialistic. All are talented and exceptional or average and ordinary, depending on your perspective.

Yes they're free to join in. But to make out that their child who could play Grade 8 piano at 7 years old is a perfectly normal child in terms of piano playing ability helps no-one who is seeking some sort of reassurance or understanding about what most children could do at 7.

99% of people in the UK are very very average..

Except MN children who all fall in the 1%

Then you just disregard their post. It’s not their responsibility to not post so that you only get the answers you’re looking for. If you know what you’re reading isn’t common, then it’s not going to make you think your child is ‘behind’.

Mine definitely aren't. Eldest always at average or 1 lower level
The next 2 average/ expected
The last seems to be doing better in reception than the others

Sen dc here so have always put this point of view across. We're so proud of progress made to be able to read and write, fantastic school.

As long as they tick the 3 big Hs is my opinion...happy, helpful, have a heart! Xx

@ApriCat egg noodles are his favourite dinner funnily enough, he'd love a bowl of noodles every few metres!

@BlackOrangeFrog nope any parent that spent as much pool time could have their child swimming. honest. look at the "lessons" the kids spend as much time if not more sitting on the deck as in the water waiting for their turn.
i'm talking hours upon hours of kids dumped in the water floating about with zero cares if they turn their head every three arm strokes.
no one would say harry potter is an easy series to read and yet the average reader is 8 years old, to me that's a step beyond the basic free reading library book.
math, my grandson at 8 and 3 months knows all his times tables to 12. i though that was good till i met one of his classmates (8 years old) who truly impressed me at monopoly doled out the money, knew how to double weird sums and dished out the cash like a seasoned banker.

Think our children have enough pressure to be someone else's idea of awesome - school, Internet, peers- to hear your parents boasting of your achievements to date and your private hopes and dreams must be even worse. My dc give me a glare if I look like forgetting this.

I seem to remember my parents being keen on common sense, manners, not being taken for a ride, and not marrying a wrong un, of being of paramount importance.

The thing is... parenting, if done well, is quite a difficult, labour-intensive job that requires a lot of sacrifices.

It's hard to put all that effort in and then to be told that the outcome is, well... average.

And children are measured by quite a narrow set of criteria in our society... school achievements, hobbies, athletic skills etc. And, unfortunately, appearance.

If your child isn't succeeding according to those criteria, then it can be difficult to look beyond this because these are the things which are emphasised. So you see your children through rose-tinted glasses and, in some cases, delude yourself.

It's only later that it becomes apparent that actually it didn't matter that he was good-looking and sporty or that she was very clever at school, because he's turned into a complete twat who neglects his wife and kids and she's unkind and spiteful to colleagues. And actually that a lot of 'average' people are very happy and well-respected, and have happy families who they adore and spend time with. Because it takes all sorts to make up society and there are lots of different roles for everyone. You don't have to be super gifted/talented and you don't need a great long list of achievements.

Personally though I think it's nice that parents think nice things about their children, even if they are somewhat deluded. It's better than thinking they're duds.

i don't think agreeing to mediocracy is helpful. telling other's that low or slow progress is "normal" when clearly most kids with engaged parent are doing way more by the same age isn't helping the parent or the child.
now as much as my trio were doing these things early on, it bears no relationship to how they did later in life, although all did well academically attended post secondary and earn well etc. none made it to the olympics or are warren buffets right hand man/woman.
my priority was always a happy child but i do think rudimentary swimming reading and math should be well established by 8 (i think k-6 are the golden years for education).

Hahahaha not over here. My kids are allowed to be full blown kids age 6 and under they have their whole lives to find what they love and be under pressure I’m not taking away from their youth now

So my son is one of the three year olds who can do (simple) addition and subtraction but that is basically his only talent (sorry son!) so that's probably why I talk about it a lot 😂 I'm under no illusions that he's a child genius. He's just an average kid from what I can tell!

Reciting/recalling times tables is not a mathematical achievement though. That's a feat of memory. Might as well learn the numbers 1 to 100 in Martian to compare being able to recall times tables. There's loads of 8 year olds that could tell you all sorts of facts about dinosaurs, they're named the era, what they ate, their habitat etc. it's the same skill and just as impressive..

But for the child to be very good at maths at 8, does the child has a genuine depth of understanding of what the times tables are? Do they know what the composition of 56 is, why there's are 8 sets of 7, or 7 sets of 8, or actually 5 sets of 10, and 6 single digits etc.The depth of understanding is the key, not the ability to recall 7 x 8 = 56.

But mediocrity if that's what you mean is simply the middle or average which by definition has to exist. Everyone that ever lived falls somewhere on a spectrum between useless and excellent on a whole range of measures..Some lucky people manage to excel at lots of things, and contrary to popular belief stand just as much chance as being fantastic and kind people as anyone else because life isn't fair. Some people don't have a whole pile going for them necessarily but they get by and again may or may not be happy or kind or wonderful. People are marvellously complex, life is a mystery and most people turn out just fine in their own way and according to their own characteristics or talents. The pushier parents who won't accept mediocrity or slow or low progress may be just kicking the can down the road and their child will be what they will be. I have a number of friends now whose children are getting to the late teens and early 20s and honestly, the parents who killed themselves running hither and yon, plotting courses for their children, pushing them in a lot if cases don't seem to have children who are now doing any "better' (however you define it) than their more counterparts who had more laid back parents of similar backgrounds, levels of intelligence, education etc. All that money, all that anxiety, all that running around, the gains are honestly marginal.

i fully agree with you@BlackOrangeFrog, but the rote memory is a step beyond simple mental maths of 8+4 etc that you mentioned for age 6.
same with my interpretation of "swimming" which my son in law said was not swimming as his 3 year old was not doing the correct arm strokes and tumble turns but indeed was full lengths of a pool by any means, which to me is swimming (since it's unaided forward or backward propulsion not just floating).
again same with free reading, what book what words? i think harry potter impressive for free reading at 8.

@theleafandnotthetree oh yes 100% this is true. very few make it to elite sports or academia despite early intervention or early displays of prowess. but that doesn't mean people are lying when they say that their child has certain skills early on.

See this is also the problem where people say "my 3yo was swimming 25m"

Some people will measure nit drowning and propelling themselves along in any way as swimming, others will only consider 25m with correct strokes, kicks and breathing as swimming.

So when someone asks "should I be worried about my 7yo who can't swim 10m" it's incredibly unhelpful if the parent of the 3yo child who floats along for 25m tells them "well mine was swimming at 3" because that's not the same thing as being able to swim in a recognised stroke.

But all we hear is they could swim.

It's like my DS could technically read at 3 years old... He read his first CVC word at 3y11m... about 10 days shy of his 4th birthday. But I don't wade in on threads claiming "he could read at 3" because it's not helpful, or accurate in the sense of someone wondering if their 6 year old should be able to read the Blue Band of X Reading Scheme.

I think people tend to be drawn to threads based on the topic. My daughter is super bright (doing a GCSE at 10 bright) and loves academia, so I'll post on threads about academic/bright kids.

She's not even remotely an athlete, so I wouldn't tend to be drawn to posts about swimming or sports - but the parents of super sporty kids might. It probably isn't the same parents posting every time; kids are talented in different areas.

as in all things a deeper conversation is needed.
it's just that people are not necessarily lying.
like toilet training was commonly achieved before the 2nd birthday 30+ years ago. it's not lying to say that my 13-15-18 mth old was toilet trained, no this did not include washing their hands, but they we not soiling their pants.

Reading this thread makes me so happy that my children were late 90s where MN wasn’t a thing . They just thrived from being at school without the competitive parents.
All successful adults now .