Partner is destroying my life with snoring

[ShutTFUp]

At least once a week now I miss an entire night’s sleep because of partner snoring.

I am self employed and studying and missing full days of work and study, and then having to cancel all plans outside of work to catch up over evenings and weekends. That’s if I manage to catch up.

It’s making me ill.

This week he ‘forgot’ to put his nose thing in and I got about 2 hours’ sleep. He has taken some steps now finally to do something about it, but this is after years of refusing to do anything, which has entrenched all the stress and anxiety around it all through repeated times when meetings, interviews, social events, birthday celebrations, that are really important to me have been ruined or missed.

I feel like I hate him (just feel so angry at this constant pointless chaos and disruption) and wish I lived by myself. I have been taking steps to make this happen but unfortunately on hold for now due to other commitments.

Just venting I suppose and wondering if there is any advice, experience out there and offering solidarity to anyone in the same position!

He has a thing that helps - you kick him awake until he uses it ?

Or you kick him awake to get him to sleep on the sofa

Can you rearrange things so you sleep separately?

I know someone who was hypnotised to be able to ignore the snoring. Apparently it's been life changing and cost £150.

I've been hypnotised to stop me snacking and it worked, so obviously they can do amazing things with the therapy.

He’s sleeping in the spare room at the moment and even with ear plugs I can still hear him!

I went to nudge him last night (and had to go back repeated times) and it was only once we were both thoroughly awake that he mentioned he’d ‘forgot’ to put the nasal thing in (you can’t really see it unless you look v closely!). It doesn’t get rid of it but it lessens the intensity of the noise.

I do like the idea of kicking him tho 🤣🤣

White noise is your friend. Put a fan on.

Has he seen a dr?

that’s interesting! I can see there being something in that – I was always known as a heavy sleeper (housemates would often have to come in and switch my alarm off as I’d sleep through it) – but feel like I’m more and more of a sensitive sleeper the longer this goes on.

A big part of it is the rush of adrenaline, stress and anxiety as you realise you’re properly awake. And then trying to manage feeling cross, worried, stressed out, etc.! while also trying to get back to sleep.

I will look into it, thanks!

We already are – the noise carries through the whole house!

Separate rooms. You'll simply start to resent one another if you carry on like that.

He needs to see a doctor - they do have solutions

Is he better when on his side?

Honestly if no children involved then I would end the relationship. May seem very harsh but I would find this infuriating

He needs a sleep study.
I’d bet my house he has sleep apnea and needs a cpap machine. Completely eliminates my DHs awful snoring.
also sleep headphones for you that play any white noise you like. That and silicone ear plugs are what were the best for me.

Thanks, I really appreciate this as I feel the same.

Does he still have tonsils? If so removal will often completely alleviate the issue.

Are you wearing earplugs yourself?

yes he is

he has been to the dr and finally got some steroids for a sinus issue that’s been a thing for YEARS. Snoring still persists tho

thanks, good to know!

yes, I don’t ever forget my accessories!!!!

he has been to the dr and finally got some steroids for a sinus issue that’s been a thing for YEARS. Snoring still persists tho

Ah my DH has this as well. I'm not sure the steroid spray makes much difference unfortunately. But there's nothing else the Dr can do - the steroid spray was prescribed by an ENT dr at the hospital after a referral so annoyingly I'm not sure there's much else my DH can do.

Could you do anything to sound proof the spare room??

I could have posted this. Me and my husband had been sleeping separately for a year but I could still hear him through the wall. He finally went to GP who referred him to a sleep clinic. They sent him home with a device that attached to his hand and chest.. The results were he stopped breathing 26 times per hour for 10 seconds at a time. Left untreated this can lead to stroke and heart attack.
They gave him a sleep apnea machine and my god I love it! Back in the same bed and complete silence.

Just sleep in different rooms?

Any time my partner snored, I moved to sleep in the other room

What kind of machine does he have?

My mum has a sleep apnoea machine, and the machine makes a lot of noise! When I stay with her, I can hear the machine in the next room!

It doesn't seem harsh to me. I had to end a very promising relationship due to him snoring and doing nothing about it. The final straw was when he said it was my fault I was being woken up and needed to address my light sleeping issues.

we are currently missing a glass pane above our bedroom door which partner says every week he will do!

There has been talk of mouth guards too. The nose thing does lessen the intensity of the sound which is something (when he bothers to put it in……) Maybe something helpful for your DH too?

fucking unreal!!!!!!!