I'm done with going out out

[ladybiglips]

I mean to noisy crowded bars, where you have to stand all night. People pushing past you with drinks spilling down your back and treading on your toes. Filthy toilets. The crowd outside afterwards at closing, all trying to get cabs and generally being lairy (sp!).

This is my best friends idea of a great night out. I used to like this but have grown up. I now cannot stand it. We are in our early 50s.

Still like going out but somewhere I can sit all night and chat and hear the conversation and have a decent glass of wine.

Anyone else resonate ?

not sure what to do about my friend who still loves this scene and wants me to go with her all the time.

Yes early 50 s too and this is my idea of hell.

Early 40s and I agree 100% with you. I too want a seat, no loud music, good wine and to be near to home.

Mid 30s and I grew out of that mid 20s really.

Same although I've only just realised this. I'm 45. I'm a bit sad about it

I much prefer going out early pm then being home with snacks in the evening!

Early fifties?! I'm impressed you've last that long. I'm late 40s and not done that in the last decade

I’m 51 and lockdown totally killed my going out-out desire - I like #stayhome! My female friends and I tend to cook/get takeaway or M&S food and wine at someone’s house instead. Even with my DP we’re more inclined to go out for a nice lunch on a Saturday than dinner now

I resonated at the age of 18 and fairly sure DD would too at 15 as the bar scenario sounds s like her worst nightmare.

Restaurant and a cinema / theatre trip is my idea of a good night.

When we go out now it’s usually for a late lunch , couple of drinks either side and back in the house by around 8 - when we start to see people arriving with night out clothes like sequinned tops or LBD and heels it’s time to call an Uber

I’m 39 and I haven’t been out-out since about 2013 😂

I haven’t been out clubbing since I was 30. And stopped going regularly in my teens.
Still love going out for dinner or for a glass of wine somewhere quieter, though.

I hated it when I was in my early 20s. I tried it a few times, but it just was not for me. I do not understand why it is so popular.

My idea of hell!
My DS has given up too at 26

YANBU to like what you like and not want to do things you don’t but there are plenty of nice places. I’m in my 30s and would never go to places like the ones you describe but I would absolutely go to a bar.

I like a late lunch instead, and it has to be table service for drinks.

I'm 59 now Stopped around 30

Rude to suggest that your dislike of this is due to having ‘grown up’.

Absolutely 💯.
Cannot be dealing with train or taxi home. Just can't be bothered

I expect if you anonymously asked everyone, for the vast majority it's the idea of hell.

I did it in my twenties to conform to the norm.

Loved getting to my forties where finally I had the confidence to say 'I'm not coming because I don't want to.'

Wouldn't dream of it in my fifties.

I'm 50 and don't mind, and quite enjoy the odd night out like this. I like the vibe, the people watching, the music and feeling like I'm in a place where fun is happening. I've been known to stay out dancing til the wee hours, even if only a few times a year. So it's not unheard of or that unusual to want this sometimes, and of course doesn't preclude one from having all the other lovely kinds of social gatherings described by others. But if you don't enjoy it OP, it is perfectly OK to say so and to suggest alternatives or compromises. I don't worry unduly about arbitrary rules or notions about the kind of things one 'should' do or enjoy at various ages or stages of life. If you enjoy it, you should do it and if you don't stop!

Totally agree. Your preferences have changed and that’s fine - it doesn’t make you any more “grown up”/mature/better than your friends!

Haven't been out out since I was 39 pre covid, I'm 44 now, health condition means I can't drink and my joints are too achy for standing around and late nights, I rather go for dinner or stay in.
You've done well to make it to 50's but life changes and so do our preferences.

And I agree with others that this isn't a grown up/not thing. It's introvert/extrovert. NT/ND.

I've been over it since I was about 30 tbh. I want to sit and be able to hear what my friends are saying! Still like a gig but going out restaurants or pubs.

I don't go places I have to stand, unless it's the bar during the interval at the theatre.
Also avoid high stools/chairs.
I buy seated at gigs etc.
But I will still go to a bar if I have friends visiting. And I'll go to events at my local which get busy.

Am 47.

Me too but I do still go to gigs which are at crowded pubs and venues with filthy toilets etc. I do this for the love of music. If it's just for a night out I'd rather go to a restaurant or a quiet pub.