I'm done with going out out

[ladybiglips]

I mean to noisy crowded bars, where you have to stand all night. People pushing past you with drinks spilling down your back and treading on your toes. Filthy toilets. The crowd outside afterwards at closing, all trying to get cabs and generally being lairy (sp!).

This is my best friends idea of a great night out. I used to like this but have grown up. I now cannot stand it. We are in our early 50s.

Still like going out but somewhere I can sit all night and chat and hear the conversation and have a decent glass of wine.

Anyone else resonate ?

not sure what to do about my friend who still loves this scene and wants me to go with her all the time.

30, more like!

@ladybiglips

I thought you were going to say you are in your mid 30s! You're still doing this in your mid 50s?! WTAF?! Why?

No-one I know over 30 has this kind of lifestyle/social life. Yeah YANBU, you need to rein it in. Don't have to stay in knitting, and watching TV every night, but you need to find new friends. From the sound of it you are hanging around with people less than half your age. It's not people in their 40s and 50s (and older) who are in the places you describe.

Wouldn't be for me. Sounds grim.

Goodness I think I’d reached the same conclusion by the time I was about 25 😂 I was a bit of a wild child back in the day and had just.. had enough by then. I come out of retirement once in a while now (I’m 30) but regret clubbing every single time!

Not always. I'm mostly very introverted but have always enjoyed going 'out out'. I do have to be comfortable with the people I am out with, though.

It's just really not my scene any more but my friend still loves it. The wine tastes cheap and nasty and imo a waste of money. I don't drink beer or spirits. It's largely a cattle market with v disgusting toilets and always a queue.

As someone said up thread the young folks of today are more likely to be going to games cafes etc than pubs/clubs.
I'm a bit jealous because I would have really enjoyed something like that in my day.

We haven't done this for years. A meal out is about as exciting as we get and we like to be home early. We have done a couple of gigs recently but that's rare.

We tend to stay local, thankfully lots of local options. I'm your age and love a night out (every weekend ) but usually grab a seat

Real ale not wine for me

Is this actually clubs @ladybiglips - not pubs and bars? (As you said they were in your original post.)

Because what you're describing doesn't sound like any pubs I ever go to.

Sounds lot like nightclubs though.

.

@LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway it's clubby pubs but not actual night clubs. They are open till 2am, loud music, lots of bumping into other people, so hot its unreal, shitty drinks, noise, crowds, gross toilets, beer down your back and someone squeezes past you or knocks you and stepping on your toes. URGH

I was over all that well before 50!

I like a bottomless brunch situation
Sometimes I watch a film/tv and love the idea of a seedy nightclub blow out night. But then I remember myself

I was the original party girl, falling out of clubs at 2am several times a week. But now, I'm 54 and would rather stick pins in my eyes. This Saturday I'm meeting an old friend for a few drinks, mid afternoon, but we'll both be very happy to be home on our respective sofas by 7.30pm, latest.

Reading a good book and drinking tea on a Saturday night, before going to bed early with my gorgeous DH is absolute bliss.

Fuck. Just even reading that makes me feel tense and unhappy.

44 and yes there has to be a seat!!😅

Sorry, but you're describing clubs here. They're not pubs. Pubs don't stay open til 2am. They shut between 10pm and 11pm. Only on special occasions do they open later - (like midnight or 1am,) EG; New Years Eve, or a Coronation, or a Jubilee. Or a Football World Cup Final if it was coming from the other side of the world or something (and the match wasn't on til 10pm to midnight UK time.) So on very VERY few occasions would they be open til 2am.

I couldn't think of anything worse than going to nightclubs in my 50s!

You need to give this friend a wide berth. She sounds like she hasn't grown up yet to be honest.

@LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway the pub in my area is open until 2am. they may have a special licence, I don't know, but it is def a pub.

The responses are split between the people who think the op is rude to say she has grown out of clubbing, and the people who think the op is ridiculous for not growing out of it 20 years ago!

You sure can’t win on Mumsnet.

Well I seem to be a lone voice here but I have brilliant memories of my late teens up to mid 20s out dancing, clubbing, talking bollocks, interacting with strangers sometimes, pushing the boundaries a bit. I am incredibly glad I had that, there was plenty of time then and there certainly is now for all the other things people talk about. Doesn't have to be either or! I hope my own children have as much fun as they bloody well can while they can and that they have friends to do it with. And I certainly haven't 'grown out' wanting to still have some of those kind of nights occasionally (as if its something to be embarrassed about or ashamed of)..

Organised 'Out outs' to shows and sit down gigs are my limit

Even then, there are queues everywhere and busted toilets

No, it’s not. It’s just that as we get older, we prefer different types of times out.🤷‍♀️

I always say the spirit’s willing but the body can’t carry through! I definitely agree OP. I’m 53 and have always loved a good night out but just can’t hack it anymore. Only down side is I do like to have the occasional boogie but can’t seem to find anywhere with a good atmosphere that’s only half full and allows me to get home by 9 😂 I have tried the day clubs but the ones by me are always heaving!

That’s great for you, but not sure why you’ve quoted me? My daughter is a keen hiker, climber and horse rider. She’s made many like minded friends at these Uni clubs but doesn’t like nightclubs or drinking. She’s definitely having fun. However two of her housemates do like drinking, but don’t care or make her feel bad that she doesn’t. Bit narrow minded to think you can only have fun & friends when young if you drink, dance or do nightclubs. I had a lifetime of people trying to force me into it and shoving it down my throat, it honestly ruined my younger years and made me miserable. It was seen by my generation as almost compulsory and you were portrayed as odd if you didn’t like it. Looking at this thread, it seems I wasn’t alone. So, it’s nice this generation has more choice, it’s less important, and they are more accepting if you don’t like it. The news story regarding nightclubs was online this morning, I’m not saying they should be closed down, it’s just what’s happening.

I'm 50 and love going out. Especially to watch live music where it's noisy and there is dancing.