I'm done with going out out

[ladybiglips]

I mean to noisy crowded bars, where you have to stand all night. People pushing past you with drinks spilling down your back and treading on your toes. Filthy toilets. The crowd outside afterwards at closing, all trying to get cabs and generally being lairy (sp!).

This is my best friends idea of a great night out. I used to like this but have grown up. I now cannot stand it. We are in our early 50s.

Still like going out but somewhere I can sit all night and chat and hear the conversation and have a decent glass of wine.

Anyone else resonate ?

not sure what to do about my friend who still loves this scene and wants me to go with her all the time.

I am 39 and hated that sort of stuff since I was about 30!
I love being out and about in the day but evening events are not my thing, especially this time of year.

I thought you were going to say you were in your 30s or something! I definitely grew out of that around 30 after loving it in my 20s.

With regards to how you tell her op, I think it would depend on how often she is doing things she hates doing, because she knows you like it.

I've felt this way since late 20s. I just cannot cope.

I need a guaranteed seat and food if I go out. Therefore out out is out!

@MooPeng I never said I thought I was better than my friends.

My friend is single and loves going to these type of places to meet men/get chatted up. It is my worst nightmare.

I grew out of it long ago, I was obsessed with going clubbing in my teens/early 20's. If people are offended by that because they're still clubbing in their 50's then so be it! No one would suggest you can't possibly grow out of taking drugs so I don't see why it can't be the same for big nights out drinking. That doesn't make me better than anyone else - I just wonder how they still have the stamina to do it!

You've done well to keep going this long! I retired from that in my 30s, its not my idea of fun!

It's in the news today that something like ten nightclubs a week iirc are closing down, so you're not alone.

I'm mid forties and it's been about 20 years since I realised I hated it 😂. I don't even like eating out at night since covid, much prefer a weekend coffee and cake or pub lunch.

DD has just gone to uni and it's not even been mentioned that anyone has gone to a club, they've been to pubs but they're going back home and getting pizza or baking cookies instead.

Most people realise this before they are 40.

Absolutely, and I stopped liking it long before your age!
A seat and the ability to hear and have a conversation is key. I do still like a good drink up though!

I stopped going to bars in my 30s. I just outgrew the noise and crowds and couldn’t really see the purpose of me going. I only ever go to carvery or food centred type pubs now, I couldn’t imagine going to a pub to drink.

A lot of people are going day clubbing .

OP, you're free to like what you like, but there's no need to invalidate other people's choices with expressions like 'grown up'. It isn't inherently immature to enjoy a particular way of socialising.

I'm in my 50s and still occasionally go 'out out', and would do it more if health permitted. I am very much a grown-up. We don't all have to like the same things.

This era ended for me by 31.

Early 30s and this my idea of hell I stopped going out out when I was mid 20s. However I started clubbing when I was 14 so probably why!

So? There are no rights or wrongs to leisure preferences.

Different issue. It's always going to feel a bit pointless going out as a partnered person with someone who's looking to pull. Doesn't mean either of you are in the wrong for how you choose to spend social time.

It's my idea of hell also for all the reasons you've stated, mid 40s and haven't wanted to do it for the last few years really. Have tried it a couple of times and always wish I was at home with a nice bottle of wine, wearing my pyjamas.

I never really liked these sort of places. I hate having to shout at the person you are with to be heard. Much prefer a quieter pub where I can actually talk to people.

Early sixties, still enjoy going dancing so have a late night once or twice a month. We have a really good music venue in town so most weekends are there but no later than 11.00. The rest of the time it's a meal out or early doors. I don't drink so I'm tired the next day but no hangover these days. I've gone out since 16 and hopefully continue to do so.

Mid 40s and tea time tippling is the way forward for me now

Just don't go ... you don't have to do exactly what your friend wants to do. I don't think I've ever been to a club more than a couple of times in my life ... it's just not what I'd choose to do.
I like and respect my friends but no way would I drag myself to a club, band, theatre production etc that I have no interest in. We find things we both enjoy.

30's and that's my idea of hell too!

Give me an afternoon brunch and home by 9pm any day over that!

Well there's your issue.

It's deathly boring standing round like a third wheel while your mate goes on the prowl.

It sounds like you're not actually there to spend time together, you're just a prop to facilitate her night out.

Been there, absolutely not fun.