I'm done with going out out

[ladybiglips]

I mean to noisy crowded bars, where you have to stand all night. People pushing past you with drinks spilling down your back and treading on your toes. Filthy toilets. The crowd outside afterwards at closing, all trying to get cabs and generally being lairy (sp!).

This is my best friends idea of a great night out. I used to like this but have grown up. I now cannot stand it. We are in our early 50s.

Still like going out but somewhere I can sit all night and chat and hear the conversation and have a decent glass of wine.

Anyone else resonate ?

not sure what to do about my friend who still loves this scene and wants me to go with her all the time.

I'm 38 and just don't get the point. Admittedly I barely drink, but even if you do, surely just drinking isn't entertainment in itself? I also don't dance 😅. But just standing around somewhere, even if you do drink, when you can't have a conversation and there is nothing other than other people around you- where the entertainment in that? Sounds monumentally dull to me 🤣

I still enjoy going "out out", early 50's but not frequently, fortunately I have a few friends that do so too.
Definitely agree its not a "grown out of" situation though. I'm a grown up , I find it fun, I love music, dancing, different people enjoy different things
Your friend doing it to "pull" is another issue though and I wouldn't be up for that either, your friend is wrong to expect you to chum her to do this. She needs to find single friends for this sort of thing, or go out in a large group.

I am early 50's and agree partly but I find that there are more places or events tailored to my age group around now. Brunches are good where you can have a sit-down, a meal and a dance, they are restricted with numbers. You can go back to your seat for a natter when your feet get tired. Some of them start at a reasonable time in the afternoon and by the time the venue starts getting busy and the evening people are out, i'm ready to go home! This is my new out out!

I decided I didn't enjoy a night out like that when I was about 16 and my friends thought it was brilliant.
Unfortunately that meant a few friendships fizzled out 🙁

Absolutely hated this even when I was in my late teens/20s. One nice thing about getting older (mid 50s now) is it’s totally acceptable not to do it. Always felt like an oddball when younger. Much preferred doing interesting things in a small group instead where we could talk.

I'm early 60s and this would be my idea of hell - they very thought of having to get dressed up, hair and make up done etc just has no appeal to me.
We used to eat out roughly once a month in the evenings. Now we go for an occasional lunch as neither of us can be arsed going out when we've come back in for the day plus the cost is astronomical.

We had those bars where everyone landed in droves & left in droves same time every week, we saw the same people & faces, just got so boring. I had just come out of a long relationship late 30s, so ended up going out with a group of older women, I decided one night that would be my last night of going out- I wanted do something different like the theatre or meal out but no they enjoyed the same routine- I just so happened to meet my future partner that very same night & never went out again into town- that was 20 odd yrs ago.

I found this out in my 20s at uni but still did it mainly to fit in - my teens already know this event doesn't suit them so don't go - they find other things to do with mates.

MIL (happily married) love it and went with work mates well into her 50s.

I'd look at alternative venues and nights out but if she won't do other things then just start saying no not your thing and she'll have to find others to go with.

Board game cafes are now an option and are often open fairly late or a Cat cafe if you are so inclined.
Local pottery place does "Bring your own bottle and paint" evenings.

Agree with others there are different options available these days. Maybe suggest those. My 18yr old daughter doesn’t like partying or drinking either but luckily her generation seem more interested in coffee shops and activities. I wondered if she’d be the odd one out at Uni, but she’s definitely not. Many of her generation seem to do other things instead. Also saw a news story this morning saying lots of nightclubs are closing down because the younger generation don’t do it so much. Think I was born at the wrong time!! 🙄

Amen sister. I came here to say exactly this. Although I'm not quite sure that I ever liked it, tbh 😅

30s here too and I'd rather chew glass! I didn't like clubs when I was a student really. Love a good pub or a nice bar, but clubs were always agonising. The music is so often horrible (to my tastes, anyway), the blokes get too handsy, the horrible drunken behaviour. And it's rubbish going out with friends and not being able to hear a word they're saying! Seems like a massive waste of money to me.

Early 30's and I grew out of this a long time ago, can't remember the last time I went to a club.

I've gone from disliking weddings as they were always a sort of half arsed night out, to liking them precisely because they're a half arsed night out.

I hated this scene in my late teens, tolerated it throughout my 20's and early 30's and gleefully jacked it all in by 35.

Wild horses would not drag me into a noisy, crowded pub with nowhere to sit these days.

I’m 30 and got bored with going ‘out out’ years ago.
I can’t stand spending money on over priced drinks, too many loud people, busy places, the music being so loud you can’t talk. I like going out but to somewhere like the cinema, out for food, theatre or something I would rather do these things with friends

Stopped in my mid 20s and as others have said I don't think it ever really was my thing, I would spend half the time wishing the night to hurry up so I could leave or get home take my shoes off and jump into bed.

I prefer going out for meals, live concerts, movies etc something where I get more enjoyment for my money without the hangover.

Same!

Me too! It's the only time I get to dance now.

I loved this until my late 20's. Can't see me ever liking it again (early 40s now)

I stopped going to nightclubs when I was twenty three,

Of course....if you do go to a nightclub, how many people over 50 or even 40 do you actually see? Barely any because you really can't be arsed as you get older

Off the back of this thread, just what percentage of people do actually enjoy this?

I know a few do.

But I think far larger numbers of people just pretend they do.

Even when they're 20.

Because what's to like really? Talking/decent funny conversation is out because you can't hear. Then Why would anyone choose to stand for hours rather than sit? Aesthetic Clothing for females isn't objectively comfy. Toilets are normally gross with a queue.

So why all the pretence that this is more appealing than good food, good company, good conversation, comfy, potentially cheaper and loo in peace.

mine too urgh!

I never grew into any of this, never mind grew out of it. I couldn't give a shit whether anyone thinks that is rude of me or not.

Those sorts of bars or nightclubs would be my idea of hell on earth and always were. The last time I ended up in a nightclub for any length of time was during my student days in the middle of the 1980s. Hell.

I much prefer a quiet pub near home, or a restaurant. Or most often just staying at home. I'm 58 now.