When people tell you about their personality traits they're almost always wrong?

[Redruns]

And probably telling you about the person they want to be or want you to think they are.

The obvious one is honest. I find people who tell you they're honest rarely are, people who are don't feel the need to tell you.

I have a friend who goes on and on about his emotional intelligence, but I don't think he's emotionally intelligent at all. I think he knows the kind of man he'd like to be and puts a lot of energy into pretending to be someone he's not, which must be exhausting. He's also a people pleaser, which basically means he's not honest with anyone.

Another example is a man who keeps telling me he's proud to be in touch with his feminine side but he's definitely not gay....it never occurred to me that he was until he started going on about it!

On the whole I agree. People aren't very self aware, when it comes to themselves.

For example: Anyone who tells me they are specially good on the empathy side normally is so self-absorbed that they have no empathy for anyone else. They think they're empathetic because they take over anyone else's feelings and make themselves the centre by making more fuss about it.

I'm not sure it's always about the person they'd like to be, so much as the person they'd like to be seen as, and in a lot of ways that's about hiding the fact that is the complete opposite to their true character.*

*Especially when they put it on FB.

I often find that people how say they are perfectionists certainly don't have the standards I'd expect. I once bought a handmade item from someone who said she was and even to my untrained eye it was poorly finished

Jungian shadows.

That's interesting. People often tell me I'm a perfectionist, in that I expect too much of myself. I know I am absolutely not a perfectionist and rather slapdash in my approach to most things 😆

This!

Definitely like when someone says they are really fun or crazy. They absolutely are not 🤷‍♀️🤣

I can guarantee that anyone who claims to be 'quirky' or 'a bit mad',most definitely are not.

I think you're probably right when describing positive traits. We're probably a bit better with our negative traits.

Oh yes, definitely mad, quirky, crazy etc.

Yes !

True. I was trying to think of what I tell people about me and I don't think I would tell someone any positive traits, but I would tell them I'm lazy/boring.

I think I'm above average intelligence, for example, but I wouldn't tell anyone that (IRL)

Any time someone says they "don't judge anyone" I know they are crazy judgmental. We all judge people. It's a stupid thing to say.

If they say they are an "empath" I know they are more likely a narcissist.

If they "don't do drama" they are 100% the drama.

And if they "tell it like it is" they are an asshole.

I do find that when people endlessly tell you how “strong” they are, they’re anything but.

people who say they are laid back are never laid back 🤣

Meh I describe myself as a moody, grumpy , antisocial git. People refuse to believe it, then are surprised that I actually am. Oh well...

Maybe I'm the only one who disagrees. For example, I would say I'm an all or nothing person. It's both a positive and a negative depending on the situation and Im pretty sure that's an accurate description. 🤷 I think sometimes we can be mistaken about ourselves and people often try to project themselves as a person they would like to be. I can think of some examples where people have 'got it wrong' but I don't think that is always the case

Someone I know always describes herself as "I don't think maliciously" or "I haven't got a malicious bone in my body" but she's the most two-faced gossip you ever met. People who say they're easy going tend to be total stress heads as well.

The one person who described herself as a perfectionist definitely was though.

I say I don't do drama and I 100% dont, its probably something other people would actually say about me too, I have no time for anything like that 😁

As pp said people who actually know their traits don’t tend to shout about them.

A new boss coming into a difficult situation was rather dismissive of the previous one. "I don't do stress.
If that was the case she did a marvelous impression of a deranged budgie.

In general I find the words "I'm the type of person who..." are a red flag regardless of what follows.

I think you're right OP. Thinking of people I know who love to announce their personalites:

I'm really sensitive= I expect everyone around me to bend over backwards to avoid saying or doing anything that I might not like, but will give no consideration at all to how my actions or words might impact others.
I'm such a people pleaser= I view normal consideration for others as a big personal favour
I hate conflict= I am incredibly 2 faced and will stir up trouble between other people
I'm good at seeing the big picture= if any plans don't benefit/suit me personally I will pick fault until everyone decides to do something I prefer

Aargh, the "empaths" 😖Usually means skilled manipulator who refuse to be accountable to themselves.
Also people who tell you they're really nice are usually the worst kind of cunts

This is code for fucking irritating!

Years ago, I read a personal ad in the Guardian's dating section where a man described himself as 'complex'. I wondered how much awful behaviour he was planning to blame on his 'complexity' while he gazed down at the simple souls surrounding him 😄