When people tell you about their personality traits they're almost always wrong?

[Redruns]

And probably telling you about the person they want to be or want you to think they are.

The obvious one is honest. I find people who tell you they're honest rarely are, people who are don't feel the need to tell you.

I have a friend who goes on and on about his emotional intelligence, but I don't think he's emotionally intelligent at all. I think he knows the kind of man he'd like to be and puts a lot of energy into pretending to be someone he's not, which must be exhausting. He's also a people pleaser, which basically means he's not honest with anyone.

Another example is a man who keeps telling me he's proud to be in touch with his feminine side but he's definitely not gay....it never occurred to me that he was until he started going on about it!

very interesting, thank you @MrsTerryPratchett

Jung

Quite a lot of the "Be Kind!" People are not kind themselves.
I think they really mean "Be kind to me!"

“I’m mad, me!”

Ends up being really, really boring.

LMAO! I’ve been having this exact conversation today.

”I’m one of the good guys” = nope. Never.
”Alpha male” = true alphas don’t need to announce.
”I hate drama” = I love it so much I’ll cause as much as possible and blame it on others

I agree. A man I work with has complained to me a few times about ‘people who just talk about themselves’ and I’ve never known anyone else in my life who talks about their self as much as he does. He’s not a bad guy but a total narcissist and everyone in the office complains about ‘having to do their daily twenty minutes’ of listening to him talk about himself every morning. If you try to get on with your work while he’s talking, he gets into your personal space so you have to look directly at him and/or taps your arm for attention. Everyone is itching to tell him ‘we’re not fucking interested’ but we know it’d crush him.

Would anyone make friends if they were self aware? Wouldn't we all be riddled with crippling anxiety and neurosis?

I don’t declare anything about myself ever but I know I’m transactional. I’m very good at seeing a situation and the many ways it can play out and can calculate outcomes in my head easily. I can spot a manipulator easily because I am one myself.

People that say they are nice are the most tedious people I have ever met.

Noice, different, unusual!
I'm mad me.

I can't drink water.

IME people are usually quite off about themselves.

Also these fixed things people say about themselves- drives me crazy. Like saying "I can't drink water" like it is a truth about themselves they hold close.

I think these people must be so desperately dull and/or unhappy they make up bizarrely and clearly untrue "facts" about themselves.

Well it is not surprising as people seem to come up with big long dramatic stories why others do things

A person leaves the milk out is not because they are lazy it is some weird making their territory they have boundary issues or some other tripe

So they wouldn't get themselves right

You're welcome @beetr00

My friend once had a party where everyone came as their Jungian Shadow. I went as a hypocrite.

I find it goes one of two ways. Either they are incredibly dull and not quirky at all, or they are absolutely fucking batshit and you need to back away from them slowly.

Ha...I laughed to myself at some of the absolute vipers I know, urging us all to 'be kind'.

Try it yourself first.

Also men who claim to like strong women. They never do! They like women who put up with their moods without calling them out on it, which is a different thing entirely.

Anyone who uses the words strong woman I wonder does that mean there is a weak woman?

And what is strong woman over a normal one?

Yes. Though you’d have to wonder why, in ordinary life, why someone would be describing their personality to you — do they think they’re so mysterious that it’s not quite obvious what they’re like to onlookers?

Though I don’t know why I would sneer at someone else’s lack of self-knowledge. I can’t talk. Therapy has taught me that there’s a huge amount I’m only finding out about myself now.

Though I’ve never said ‘I’m the kind of person who…’

Never a truer word and all that...

People who believe they are ‘hyper-empathetic’ and too tender-hearted for their own good tend actually to mean they can’t bear other people’s emotions and wish they didn’t have to be around them. It’s nothing at all to do with empathy.

My own one was when I was angsting to a friend about whether to quit my job. ‘My problem is that I always stay in situations too long,’ I wailed. She snorted and told me I never stuck at anything, and I was always quitting jobs and ending relationships and dropping out of things. She was absolutely right! But I guess I did that because it always felt to me that I’d stayed too long. 🤷‍♀️

Yes! I think it's also ironic that the celebrity woman at the centre of that hashtag was not a particularly nice person herself.

I've noticed that. They always seem to be uptight drama queens/kings

The empath one is a strange one because 99% of us feel empathy for one another so I don't get why empath is considered a special thing to be. Same as with sensitive . Well we all can be a bit that way can't we? So I'm other words they are the same as the rest of us.

I'm very self aware according to two therapists I've known

I'm not sure I've ever really met anyone who announces their supposed characteristics in this way.

Though you do read about them especially 'I believe in saying what I think' (I believe it's fine for me to be rude to you but don't you dare be rude to me in response).

Recently I met someone who claimed to be an introvert within the first few minutes of conversation. I ended up spending 4 hours in their company, during which they didn’t stop talking about themselves. I knew their entire life story by the end of the afternoon, and had been shown photos of their car, their dog, their summer holiday and their children as babies.

I also hate the “strong woman” thing. It implies that weakness is the default.