When people tell you about their personality traits they're almost always wrong?

[Redruns]

And probably telling you about the person they want to be or want you to think they are.

The obvious one is honest. I find people who tell you they're honest rarely are, people who are don't feel the need to tell you.

I have a friend who goes on and on about his emotional intelligence, but I don't think he's emotionally intelligent at all. I think he knows the kind of man he'd like to be and puts a lot of energy into pretending to be someone he's not, which must be exhausting. He's also a people pleaser, which basically means he's not honest with anyone.

Another example is a man who keeps telling me he's proud to be in touch with his feminine side but he's definitely not gay....it never occurred to me that he was until he started going on about it!

I feel the same about this. There's nothing unusual in this day and age especially about a strong woman.

I think string woman just means assertive.
And I think men don't really like assertive women. They claim they do then try to bring them down.

One of my relatives describes herself as laid back, go with the flow type of person. She is describing her husband and not herself! She's a total stress head, everything has to be planned out exactly and she often becomes overbearing. Her husband is genuinely laid back and happy to go along with whatever her plans are. I find it weird that she thinks their personalities are alike when they are actually opposites!

Yes but she was on Love Island and ever so pretty with lovely hair and make-up, so her abuse should have gone unreported.

It's not like she was a horrible man whose public downfall is to be savoured. She can hit her boyfriend with a lamp in a drunken rage if she wants.

BE KIND.

Totally this! My friend who claims to be laid back and not mind about anything is actually a seething ball of passive aggression most of the time.

People who describe themselves as having ‘a heart of gold’ are generally mean and selfish.

I think I am a strong woman, people have commented particularly on how well I have handled some very difficult situations. I wouldn't ever mention it in conversation though, I tend to think those that do wish to be a strong woman and are trying to talk themselves into it!
Most of the 'strong, independent woman' brigade seem to be neither in my experience, most have good, high earning husbands and most of life's difficulties are smoothed over with money.

I try to be honest about my short comings , but people do tend to big themselves up a lot and you know that most of it isn't true ( or vastly over blown anyway )

Also funny when people get totally the wrong idea about you right or wrong. I did a secondment and they gushed about how calm I was and offered me a job my family and friends would be agog I really am not calm at all they just had this perception
from how I presented at work for a few months.

Yes, I am always deeply suspicious of people who keep telling me they are honest. I always assume tbey are not honest. At least it makes me realise I need to keep an eye on them! 🤣

Anyone who feels the need to tell me about their positive qualities, makes me feel suss

Why tell me? Aren't your wonderful qualities obvious to me? 🙄🤣

Someone I know has just posted this. A friend's sister. She's a small-minded, judgemental, bitchy sort. I've always avoided her.

I don't know how people post this shit and aren't embarrassed by themselves.
Heart of gold my arse.

Absolutely. And if you’re a wild and kerraaazy type, there’s surely no need to do jazz hands and say ‘I’m mad, me!’

(Which reminds me that I was in a pub last week and noticed a man sitting at the bar wearing a tshirt that said OFF ME NUT. While I was waiting for my drink, he finished the last couple of clues of the Irish Times cryptic crossword, put a rather good fountain pen back in his jacket pocket, finished his pint, nodded at the barman and left. Meanwhile, the woman with two ferrets on leads at the outside table was dressed as if she’d just left a formal office. I love people.)

My mum says she loves all children and is always very kind to any she sees crying. She was an absolute bully to me as a child.
I swear these people think if they tell us they're lovely we'll instantly forget our own experience of them.

The new thing amongst younger people seems to be describing themselves as 'people pleasers' - they never ever are!

It's very difficult to point out your own desirable character traits. They are very much in the eye of the beholder. I'd just say I'm a hyper-extrovert/ chronic depressive and then everyone will probably avoid me anyway. Lol.

I remember sitting near a woman in a quiet bar who was telling her friend at the top of her voice that her super power was how self-aware she was. 🙄

I never trust anyone who claims to be "genuine" or to have a great sense of humour.

It's because what the actually mean is "I'm controlling"

Very different to perfectionist but often mistaken for it.

I'm cringing for her. See, I'm an empath 😉

Well, people say it on here all the time, but they appear to think it’s a more self-deprecating, cutesy way of saying ‘I’m just too nice!’ When really it’s an appalling character trait, often arrived at via gendered childhood conditioning, that leads to suppressed anger that the people they’re supposedly ‘pleasing’ aren’t fulfilling their side of the bargain. People-pleasing is as bad a habit as shoplifting, and much harder to break.

When I (and others) were being bullied at work (I've now left), the lady who was bullying put a lot of that sort of thing on FB. Someone said she needed to tell people because no one would have guessed it from her behaviour.

Yes the self confessed “people pleasers” who “don’t like confrontation” to me is code for being an utter passive aggressive nightmare.

lol @BetteDavisChin I'm just cringing!

Exactly. Passive aggression underpinned by a thwarted sense of enormous entitlement which presents as perpetual grievance / disappointment / resentment / deep self pity / simmering, unacknowledged rage.

‘Oh dear, I couldn’t dream of doing that, I’m such a people-pleaser’ = ‘YOU do it FOR me’

There was a thread on here recently about people who felt emotion more keenly than others. That was quite pertinent to this thread.