I feel so sad that dd16 is on her own so much of the time

[TheWholeShackShimmies]

Dd16 left school in September. She has had an update and down journey with her friendship groups during the secondary years. Girls can be so mean to each other.

She had one friend who imo was extremely flakey but dd got on ok with her. Dd and this friend decided to do the same course at college but the friend dropped out on day 2 and has now moved to live with her mum which is a 4 hour round trip away so dd doesn't see her anymore. She has made a few friends at college and gets on ok during the 3 days a week that she is there but they all have boyfriends and are occupied with them over the weekends and they don't seem interested in catching up with the other girls (or dd) so she spends so much time on her own, in her bedroom or with me. It breaks my heart because she is desperate to make new friends and have a bit of a social life.

We have tried every avenue to help her make new friends. She isn't at all sporty nor does she hold any interest in any sport based activities but we have looked into many other clubs in our area but so many are for either much older or younger people. Youth clubs seems to be for kids up to 13/14. I registered her for the Police cadets but they are full until end of next year, the girl guides had no registered interest for the 15-16 year group so have closed that group down. She looked into various volunteering jobs but they all have much older people and although she is fine with older people she understandably wants friends from her own age group. She has also applied for endless part time jobs in our area but never here's back.

How on earth is she going to make more friends? I really worry about her as she is getting quite low about it all now.

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Both but more the friendship issue. She just wants to be the same as all the other kids her age, meeting up at the weekend to go shopping, the cinema, a meal. Just average teen stuff.

Has she looked into all the clubs and enrichment activities at college? If she can just give as many things as possible a try she might find something she likes. It is a difficult age and transferring to college is challenging, but there must be some activities going on. What is she studying?

Scouts - explorers might run i. Your area and they go up to 18.

any drama clubs around?

She looked into it but there doesn't seem to be any at the college she attends. I've looked on their website too but there is nothing advertised or mentioned.

She is currently studying beauty and hairdressing but she eventually wants to go on to become a special effects make up artist.

Do a whole load of searching for her and get a list of options.

Get her booked in to lots of things - our area has threatre groups, art groups, book clubs, St John's Ambulance and the library has various groups.

Where is she going for college - can she go to a new place?

This is the one she applied for but they haven't had any interest in that age group so closed the local ones down for this year.
We looked into some drama groups but I can't afford the fees tbh.

No clubs? That seems unusual.

If she is interested in special effects make up contact all local theatre groups and am dram groups.

She had 2 really close friends at primary but they both moved away when it came to secondary age. She made the flakey friend in year 7 and as I say she has now moved in with her mum miles age.

That sounds really interesting. I would really recommend looking for an amateur dramatics group. They need people to help with costumes, hair and makeup, setting up, making tea, all sorts of jobs. They are always grateful for helpers.

Is she into clothes? Volunteering in a charity shop can be really good fun.

Thanks, I will have a look re the theatre groups and see if they need any volunteers.

The group my dc joined didn't charge fees. They didn't offer classes. It was just a bunch of people who liked putting on shows.

Not really, when she's in a small group (as she is now at college) she's really sociable.

Thank you, I'm definitely going to suggest this to her.

Getting a part time job will help and as she's at college more hopefully she'll get invited to some parties.

She has had groups of friends that she hangs out with from time to time but they often split up into smaller groups and she always ended up with the flakey friend on their own.
She gets on really well with several girls at the college and goes out with them during lunch but they all have boyfriends and will spend their weekend with them. It's the weekend which bothers her the most.

Now is the perfect time also to look up the Christmas Pantomime companies. They would likely jump at the chance to hire her as an assistant make up artist.