I feel so sad that dd16 is on her own so much of the time

[TheWholeShackShimmies]

Dd16 left school in September. She has had an update and down journey with her friendship groups during the secondary years. Girls can be so mean to each other.

She had one friend who imo was extremely flakey but dd got on ok with her. Dd and this friend decided to do the same course at college but the friend dropped out on day 2 and has now moved to live with her mum which is a 4 hour round trip away so dd doesn't see her anymore. She has made a few friends at college and gets on ok during the 3 days a week that she is there but they all have boyfriends and are occupied with them over the weekends and they don't seem interested in catching up with the other girls (or dd) so she spends so much time on her own, in her bedroom or with me. It breaks my heart because she is desperate to make new friends and have a bit of a social life.

We have tried every avenue to help her make new friends. She isn't at all sporty nor does she hold any interest in any sport based activities but we have looked into many other clubs in our area but so many are for either much older or younger people. Youth clubs seems to be for kids up to 13/14. I registered her for the Police cadets but they are full until end of next year, the girl guides had no registered interest for the 15-16 year group so have closed that group down. She looked into various volunteering jobs but they all have much older people and although she is fine with older people she understandably wants friends from her own age group. She has also applied for endless part time jobs in our area but never here's back.

How on earth is she going to make more friends? I really worry about her as she is getting quite low about it all now.

What about horse riding? Tonnes of teenage girls. Or a part time job in a hair salon?

I'd agree with a part time job. My DD's best friend at 18 was the person she met through working during sixth form. Hopefully she will have some success soon. If she's not even hearing back, have you sat down and looked at how she could improve her application?
Has she also considered volunteering (both to meet people and to get something to go on her CV. )?
We certainly found that most in this age group didn't do "activities" as such (other than sports clubs), so provision is pretty sparse.

Another thought is that it's worth her contacting people she knew previously and perhaps was friendly but not "best friends" with. Now they are older they might click more, or at minimum they could have an evening catching up?

Just want to say she's not alone OP, this seems to be a chronic issue, even with adults. So many people are saying life has changed socially and it's really hard to find a friendship group.
What I would say is for you to assist her but don't make it into a project that needs 'fixing'. Let her enjoy her company with you, take her to places she enjoys, but don't let her sense any angst on your part. It can take people years to form good friendships and to find their tribe. I have to be honest and say I come across as if I've loads of friends, I'm in lots of groups and have contact with a lot of people, but I wouldn't say I consider any of them close friends. I've found that I don't like a lot of people on a deeper level and although at times it feels lonely, I've come to terms with it.

We did the park run this year but it was all older volunteers. She says she'd love to try the panto volunteering so I'll help her with that.

It does seem to be a big problem amongst young people these days, I think so many socialise online these days.

Not at all, she has made friends easily at college but as long say, they all hang out at home or with their boyfriends at the weekends.

If these are friends she's just made, she's only known them a matter of weeks. I'd just keep asking - maybe she could organise something or invite people to her house? Or just go out in the evening after college. Sounds like the friends are clinging to familiarity at the moment.

There has definitely been a shift in how young people socialise these days, so much is online. When I was this age I was out virtually every evening and weekend but obviously things were a lot different 30+ years ago!

Dd does come out with me but I have chronic health issues and not always up for going out at the weekends.

Thanks for your advice everyone.

Dd is going to keep applying for part time work and fingers crossed something will come up. She is also going to look into volunteering at one of our local theatres.

You’ve had some great advice on here, really hope your DD has lots of fun at amdram!
just to add, I was in superdrug yesterday and it seemed like every member of staff was an 18 year old girl…might be worth a look?

This is a late response and I'm sure you're sick of suggestions now! Just thought it would be worth mentioning that if DD's college has photography or fashion design courses, she could approach those students and offer her services as a makeup artist for photo shoots. Similarly, if there are performing arts courses she could do makeup/hair for shows.

She'll be more likely to make friends her own age this way rather than the am-dram route (although that's still a good idea).

Offering free 'practice' beauty services to girls at college (or locally) is another option.

If she’s only been applying to jobs online, make sure DD is also going into places and handing out CVs, and ringing up local businesses directly. Not all vacancies are posted online. She (or you) could also make a Facebook post advertising her as someone looking for work.