Liam Payne dead

[Anotherdayanothernight]

Just heard on the news abroad he fell from the third floor off a hotel in Buenos Aires, if true it's very sad as he was so young and seemed like a lovely guy

There are articles online talking about Liam Paynes childhood trauma.

I wonder what it was

Ds1 lost a friend in similar circumstances so this has brought back horrible memories. I can't imagine how his friend's family are feeling today just like the many families who have lost loved ones in this way. You keep thinking 'if only...' Over the years I have read newspaper stories about young people who died while drunk or high from falling off/jumping from a balcony and thought what a shame' and moved on. But when it happened to people I actually knew, I realised the enormity of grief for all those who loved them and the sadness of the loss of someone who had a whole life ahead of them.

@Mrsdoyler I seem to recall
His sister was very unwell, but I might be getting that totally wrong .

One of the items I read said that apparently he was quite a sick child (kidneys) and had to have 32 injections a day, which would be tough for anybody let alone a child. It didn't say if this continued into adulthood (any one know?).

Singing (which he felt he was quite good at) was one of the ways he felt he could be special... X factor at 14 weren't his first ever performances or auditions - and being famous was definitely something he wanted.

Of course you never know what really goes on in families. But his looks so lovely. A down to earth mum and dad, still together, two older sisters so the baby of the family. MH battles don't discriminate I guess

He was hospitalised and had to cancel shows last time he toured in 2023 due to his ongoing kidney issues

My brother who went from sweet young lad to addict very quickly was a sickly child, in and out of hospital with ear issues, once in hospital with a nose bleed where he lost over a pint of blood very quickly. He spent much of his childhood in and out of hospital and it had an impact on him. Our daddy died when my brother was 7 and when he was a young teenager he joined the Air Cadets and wanted to join the RAF. Unfortunately he was told that because he had hearing issues (deaf in one ear, one of the reasons he was in and out of hospital, them trying to repair his ear drum and other things) he could never be a pilot. This was a lot of years ago and I don't think alternatives like being an engineer were offered to him. Not long after that things went downhill. He was also very small until he hit about 15 and turned into the class clown to escape bullying. I don't know to what extent he was bullied but I don't doubt it was happening.

It always struck me that the hospital/drugs thing sort of made horrible sense but certainly there was enough trauma in his life for him to want to self-medicate. Drugs started at about 15 or 16. Heroin came along with a couple of years and that was it for the rest of his life. He got a couple more years than Liam Payne. To those who didn't know him he was just another drug abuser, or drunk because when he didn't have drugs he drank. A waste of space, oxygen, energy, etc. To those of us who loved him his death was a real tragedy, not least because we felt as though we'd been dreading it/waiting for it for over a decade.

The point of this post is that none of us know what causes trauma in children whose childhood can look good/great from the outside but who have problems within it that are the fault of no one. Some people are born with a thinner skin than others and while of course if he'd never had the first drug or the first drink or the first cigarette or whatever ... You can't undo the first bad decision and if the that decision gives you respite from feelings that are difficult to deal with then you'll go back for more because all of want to live without constant pain.

I have no time for people who judge addicts because they just don't understand and that's fine but just back away and don't talk about shit you know nothing about.

Good post Mouse. ^ 😘

Tortured soul RIP. It’s almost too sad, all the platitudes, where were all the people when he appears to have been so lost? It’s not their fault, just a sad indictment of our society, famous faces everywhere but often deep down, so polarised, alone and afraid.

Very good post @MouseMinge

The sad thing about this world is that there are far too many people who want to talk shit about things they don't understand. And as soon as someone becomes famous they are fair game.

I admit I've seen questionable interviews with Liam where he came across a bit odd. But people then swoop on that, take the piss relentlessly and I can't imagine enduring that 24/7. Having your every move scrutinised and talked about. And from such a young age. It must have gotten unbearable and it doesn't surprise me that for some people it really does become too much to life with.

If what they're saying about his being abusive to his partners is true then it's obviously horrible but again, we don't know for sure. We don't know him.

Thank you for your beautiful post and I'm so sorry about your brother. Anyone can potentially become an addict and it's so sad that already traumatised people are judged and written off when they succumb to drugs. No one can ever know the mental torment that another individual is facing and how hard it really is to overcome a drug or alcohol addiction. X

exactly. by many accounts, he wasn't such a lovely guy, but he was very young, and his family and child must be devastated, even if he wasn't a very nice person to his partners.
I'm not sad for him, but I do have sympathy for those that will be missing him. as well as compassion for those who may be feeling relief under these circumstances
it's no age. and his parents must be devastated.

@@MouseMinge sorry to hear this. Sometimes it’s so easy to forget it’s someone’s dearly loved sibling/child/partner/friend x

Exactly. Mine is 17 (and would probably love to be famous 🙄) and I just would not allow it at his age and certainly not younger. I’d go with him.

You can usually tell which former child stars had protective parents around them and which did not….

Do you know any people in life? Loads of people do care if the aggressive drug addicted alcoholics in their community die as long as they themselves weren't on the receiving end of any aggression etc.

Even then some people who suffered as a result of them will have mixed emotions and often be very sad. It's probably likely that his ex who was suing him has a lot of sad emotions even though she said he caused her a lot of trauma.

I know several men who died who would have been similar when they were alive and there was a lot of grief and kind words about them afterwards.

Liam’s parents were apparently very protective of him. He mentions in an interview that they were protective to the point of “being annoying”, even as he got much older.

Burnt coke can - you put the crack on this. Foil tube - this is your pipe.Use the tea lights/candle to heat up and smoke.

Does anyone think it's weird that the hotel staff phoned & said he might fall off the balcony? That's a weird assumption unless the balcony was unstable or he was walking on it dangerously I don't know, it just seems an odd thing to say. They said he was behaving erratically & breaking things in the room, it makes me think there was some sort of altercation with staff

@MouseMinge Sorry to hear your story. Those of us who have known and particularly lost addicts understand that they are not just ‘another abuser’ or a waste of anything. It’s the addiction that is bad, not the person it has hold of.

Unfortunately too many people can’t see past this and even as we see Liam’s death unfold people are using the photos of the drug paraphernalia as titillation or condemnation and not using it as a way to understand that addiction can get anyone; even good looking, successful young people who seem to have the world at their feet. And amongst Liam’s peers there will be many more of them who desperately need help and support before they go the same way. But the general public won’t learn, they’ll be on to their next victim by tomorrow without even considering what could be going on behind the scenes.

No, if someone was behaving like this due to drugs and alcohol, I'd be terrified if they were in a 3rd floor room with a balcony.

What are you implying re it being weird?

It has been said that the question isn't "why are you an addict?" the question should be "why the pain?"
Addiction is always informed by trauma, mental health issues, even undiagnosed issues such as ADHD or ASD or ADD. I don't know Liam Payne's story, but it'll be a lot more than how it ended & substance use. There will be a story. A painful one.

Gabor Mate is an amazing resource on addiction. I know some people discount him and his ideas, but his work on addiction is brilliant.

If you can clearly see someone is under the influence of drink or drugs, and behaving erratically it's not that much of a leap (sorry bad phrase) to think their judgement may be impaired , or they would make unwise decisions, around using a balcony.

I did wonder about that a bit, you know. I have no answer, but it did strike me.