Tell me your juiciest workplace gossip!

[ToriMJ]

Something that floored everyone and shook HR to their core.

Saw this as a tiktok and thought mumsnet would have stories galore!

Please

I think all workplaces are pretty much the same affairs, stealing, mental breakdowns, death

Now this is where you are wrong. RTFT (read the full thread).

But do tell us about the stealing!

🤣

And roof shaggers. We all have those too, not even noteworthy really.

I live on my own and have no one to blame. I think I must have thrown away about a dozen, over the years

@MurdoMunro - I have tried to get her to mend her debauched sheepy ways. She told me she was having Tupperware parties. But no plastic was ever involved...

Well if she thinks she’s getting a council house out of it she do one is all I’m saying

As a tax payer I’m not paying for that is all I’m saying

Local council job years ago. Xmas office party .Jane told her husband no partners allowed. But he knew my husband and confronted her when my DH casually mentioned going to the party. Huge argument where she confessed that she didn't want him there as she was having an affair with our manager. Then she was mad at me the next day because I told my DH about the party.

Wish I wasn't retired . I miss the drama.

Intern now appointed as head of workplace morale?

I work in a disco, one of the barmen was shot after he sailed across the bar to assault a customer who was getting too friendly with his girlfriend. The girlfriend still hasn't got over it, and has been an alcoholic for the last 30 years.

Staff nurse Britini slept with Dr Dom who we were all sure was gay! But it turns out he is just very well-groomed and likes loud socks. Anyway, we all watched Britini stand at the front of the church a month later and swear all kinds of bullshit in front of God, her oblivious fiance, their baby daughter, and all their family and friends. Britini dgaf.

Not to worry. Plenty of manger-based accommodation available in a couple of months' time, though may have to house-share with ox, ass and lowing cattle.

Ackshully HollyKnight you’re behind on this one. Dr Dom IS gay and wait until you hear about Britini’s brother. He turned up at the bus shelter, you know the one, where Dr R was found that time with no pants on, and made a right scene shouting up at Dom who was doing an enema in ward 6 at the time. Super quick enema that one, very impressed.

Update: 13.16pm

How am I the bad guy? Jennifer just spoke to me about ‘unnecessary escalation of sensitive situations’ (which can’t possibly be a real HR term) and Dave gave me a death glare on hisway to the kitchen.
Rebecca, the office gossip, has gone to “check if Dave is okay,” which can be translated as, “I’m going to tell Dave everything Ellie said so you might all want to put on safety goggles.”...

You need to borrow Dwight’s pepper spray. Just in case it escalates.

They're all a bunch of heathens! I can't be dealing with them.

Does Dr R’s sir name start with an S by any chance? If so after the incident at the bus shelter I remember people calling him Dr Arse. Only behind his back of course. But his wife knew.

MY SANDWICH?!

This is from quite a few years ago. Colleague comes into work one day and within half an hour or so collapses on the floor. People help revive her and ambulances are mentioned. She immediately says 'oh no, it's okay - I'm pregnant so it happens all the time.' Senior first aider colleague takes charge and says we are definitely calling an ambulance then and won't listen to anything else she says as she is clearly not well at all. Paramedics turn up quite quickly and ascertain she isn't pregnant, just very very drunk...

You can’t say ‘heathens’ @HollyKnight there’s a poster about it in the changing room. You have to say ‘valued community that lives just outside of town on the poor grazing land’. Its cos of that other thing that kicked off at the bus stop when Dr Arse’s wife turned up to give @flyingeffs a slap for talking shit about him and @REP22 ’s strumpet sheep.

This guy in a very senior position (let's call him Matt) was caught on security camera snogging and groping a woman in his office (we'll call her Gina). HUGE scandal ensued as Matt was a married man. He got demoted. Matt later left his wife and got together with Gina. He's tried to build his reputation with some other high profile projects, but people know what a rule breaking slimeball he is.

@flyingeffs Dwight has a couple ninja stars velcroed under the staff kitchen table if they work better

A colleague of mine saw people steal, but the thieves reported him for the theft claiming they saw him do it, along with a sexual harassment claim (including saying he had sexually harassed me which definitely didn't happen!) and various other issues. They've both been dismissed over it...

🤣 Put a mask on it Matt. Nobody wanted to see that.