I don’t want this baby.

[Nikolite]

So we have 2.5 year old and to be honest and I’m happy with just one. My husband really wants another baby but I just think our life standard would go down significantly with having one more as my job doesn’t pay that well. He just keeps saying we have to do it for our son, so he has company.
We’ve been having sex maybe once every 2 months (with protection) and I just found out yesterday I’m pregnant. I’m not sure how it is possible.
Also my dad has passed away just 8 weeks ago and my husband thinks our baby is a gift from god or from my dad as to have sex just once in 2 months with protection and still get pregnant it’s miracle.
I don’t even know how to feel about all this.
I don’t feel like being pregnant again. And I don’t want to deal with newborn stage again.
I’m thinking of terminating but feeling guilty about it.
This is the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make. At the moment I’m swaying towards not keeping the baby - purely as of my own mental health. I struggled allot after having our son and couldn’t cope with him crying etc. I just can’t go through it again. My husband keep saying that we need to do this for our son, to give him a sibling so I feel so so guilty but I just don’t think I can do this. He thinks I will regret it later in life when our son asks us why he doesn’t have a sibling but I can only think of how I’m feeling now and I’m feeling really sad and depressed since I’ve found out.

That is an absolutely terrible idea. I don't know the answer. Maybe you need to have some counselling

So sorry you are in this position. Whatever route you decide to take, you will be ok at the end.
I think you need to get some pregnancy counselling.. so you can talk it through with someone who isn't your husbsnd.
Wanting a sibling for your son is nice, but you're not guaranteed to have siblings who get on! You could have a baby with additional health/physical needs (anyone can,) so you need to consider if you're prepared for that too.
Your bereavement is bound to be a factor in this too.. 8 weeks after a significant loss, it's going to be incredibly hard to make big decisions like this. It might not be right for you right now. OR.. you might get your head round it and decide it is what you want. Do speak to a pregnancy counsellor or at least a GP, see what support is out there in your area.
Take care

My first thought after reading is he must have sabotaged the condom. You do what you think is for the best for you as you are the one carrying the baby, giving birth and my guess is also taking care of the baby mostly.

your husband sounds lime a controlling bully. Terminate and focus on yourself and your son.

Condoms are extremely thin and are not 100% reliable at all.

My cousin got pregnant after using a condom

It's actually sickening how he's trying to link this to your dear father. One of the worst things I've heard on here, honestly.

You do know that condoms dont 100% prevent a pregnancy right?

.

Our 10yo only child is happy as he is. It’s down to parenting, not how many siblings you have (or not).

It’s absolutely your right to end the pregnancy- it’s terrible timing as when you are grieving you can’t and shouldn’t make big life decisions. But you have no choice.

It’s very possible this will also end your marriage so make sure you get as much support together as you can. There’s no happy ending here.

I’m guessing he’s not a sahd who would be taking on all the extra work?

and given the issues with your first birth he really doesn’t get a say in what you are willing to put your body through

your child doesn’t need a sibling

perhaps someone can suggest a phone line you could call to discuss with someone impartial?

Sadly I think this is probably the case.

You’re absolutely right. When I told him I’m thinking of terminating, he said he won’t be a part of this family anymore. I guess I know what kind of person he is.

Agree

Holes in the condom. Little pinpricks.

Thats what I was thinking, however the likelihood of her getting pregnant at 45 having sex every couple of months whilst using protection are so incredibly slim thay my thoughts are he's sabotaged it in some way.
Op i would arrange a termination, tell "D"H that you've had a miscarried and arrange protection that you are in control of. Its not ideal to lie within a marriage however your mental health comes first and frankly given the pressure he's put on you, it doesn't sound like he deserves your honesty about this.

He will have pierced the condom ends with a pin.

Your husband sounds awful OP - your dad would want you to be happy and healthy.

My DS is 9 and an only - he is a very happy boy with lots of friends. Being an only child is fine - he can make friends.

I also had a traumatic birth as well as a pregnancy marred by HG. I wanted another but it didn't happen, probably for the best as I also had terrible PNA and PND.

Do what is right for you and your son, I lost my dad recently too and you need to take it easy on yourself

How does anyone jump to be must have sabotaged the condom? If this was in reverse would you think the same about her?

I’m sorry OP. But everything you’ve said so far about your DH makes me think that it would be really good news for you if he leaves. His pressure on you to have another baby is abusive, as is his manipulative behaviour now you are pregnant. And it’s too much of a coincidence for me - I think he doctored his condoms. Which makes him massively abusive and controlling.

He does not sound like a good partner at all. Please arrange a termination asap. You can decide at your own pace when /what to tell him.

My dd is an only child and she's a happy, well adjusted child. I had a brother and our relationship was shocking. We didn't say a civil word to each other until we were in our 20s. A sibling does not equal a good relationship.

Your dh us trying to emotionally bully you into doing something you don't want to. Stick your your guns

The fact that he has been putting huge pressure on her to have another, even when she’s been clear she doesn’t want to.

Yes if the situation was reversed I would think it equally suspicious.

Many siblings don't get along; there's no guarantee another child would be company for your son. There are 8 billion other humans he can bond with over a lifetime.

She is 36, he is 45.

I agree.