People think I’m rich from a rich family… but I’m not!

[rambutann]

I have this strange thing where people I meet or even friends have the impression that I come from a wealthy family. I honestly have no airs and graces, and have friends from a wide array of backgrounds. I speak and dress reasonably well. I don’t ski. I didn’t go to boarding school. But I did go to Cambridge.

My parents are lower-middle class, both teachers. One went to Oxford and boarding school, the other the child of factory workers.

But people just assume I’ve had an easy life and my parents are wealthy which is how I live where I live or have the job I do. But it’s far from it.

Does anyone else get judged for coming from a rich family even though they had a run of the mill upbringing?!

How's your accent??

Generic southern/slightly RP

I honestly have no airs and graces,

If you do, you wouldn't necessarily know.

I get that. I'm a Londoner (comprehensive school) settled in Yorkshire. DM was a secretary, DDad was on disability allowance. Grew up in a 4 bed terrace house with 4 kids, but 1 floor let out to a lodger. I've lived in Yorkshire for longer than I lived in London by quite a lot of years. Although my accent is no longer Londony, it's definitely southern! And apparently that makes me "posh", wealthy etc. I'm really not!

Did you go to private school ?

An RP cut glass accent will fool anybody.

There is something you're doing that's giving off an impression to people that you think you're posh. Why do you have an RP accent?

RP accent is from my dad/grandparents and Cambridge!

If your dad went to boarding school I wouldn’t call him lower middle class, boarding school has always been expensive. Unless it was some rare state boarding school. My DHs father went to boarding school and is certainly not lower middle class.

Teachers are middle class not lower middle

I’ve just come back from holiday with a group of friends and whilst away I bought a bag from the beach sellers. I said to the group jokingly not to call me out when they see me with my fake. One woman said that it would never occur to her that I’d have anything but the real thing. I’m overweight, not uni educated, regional accent, but she said it’s what I say and how I hold myself. Who knows

What's an RP accent?

But a parent who went to oxbridge and boarding school already makes you highly different to the majority, or a run of the mill upbringing..
What makes that do hard to understand or accept?

One went to Oxford and boarding school

That’s not “lower middle” nor “run of the mill”.

I take your point - but we still weren’t rich growing up. I had good friends whose parents were police officers and nurses who had as much money as we did.

I think my colleagues have assumed I'm from a "posher" background than I am In the past. I think mainly my accent which sounds similar to yours.

If one of your parents went to boarding school and Oxford they are highly unlikely to be lower middle class.

you speak RP and went to Cambridge that screams money - even if everything else about your life now screams faded wealth/poor cashflow.

This. Definitely middle class. Resolutely so. And totally agree with @Toohardtofindaproperusername - you have two educated parents, one of whom went to Oxford. Might be that they were not wealthy as teachers but middle class for sure. Depending on the boarding school and circumstances, possibly upper middle class. You can be not rich and posh!

When I moved to the Midlands from London/SE where I grew up, I found that people thought I was posh because I was well spoken and didn’t have a brummy accent. I’m not remotely posh - working class upbringing but educated and earned my way into the middle classes.

Sure - your dad chose to be a teacher even though his privileged background would have opened up the opportunity for more financially lucrative careers.

But that doesn’t negate the fact that you come from an educated, privileged and financially comfortable family (on your dad’s side).

I’d say you grew up middle class - one of your parents had a degree, both worked in a professional job.

But I take your point. I had a similar thing - my dad had an OU degree and worked in design in a factory, and my mum was forced out of education (illegally) by her my age 14 to work in the family shop and later became a secretary then a stay at home mum. Both my parents were very bright, liked travel, books of all kinds, travel. I picked up a better accent at Oxford.

It’s usually the accent, grammar and a good vocabulary that made people think I “come from money”. Often I would simply say I went to Oxford Brookes to avoid the tedious conversation about the fact no, I didn’t go to private school.

None of the people who count care.

And as you get older people assume less and less, or maybe just because I’m now an “invisible” middle aged woman, no one is interested.

Come on now, boarding school isn't lower middle class.

We were lower middle class. My mum was born in a council house, but we were the "posh" side of the family because she grew up to have a car, a mortgage and we didn't have to put 50ps in the telly.

My mum was a teacher and my dad a hands on industrial engineer. My mum was the higher earner and my friends often did view us as rich. Teaching is a professional job and relatively paid better than today. Two teachers I would think most people would think you were richer. Depending how old you are - I'm 45 - and most if my friends mums worked part time or in a factory.

My friend tells me how her mum as a single parent teacher could afford a 3 bed semi with a garden back in the eighties.

With two teacher parents I would say you did have a fairly affluent upbringing- obviously no super yachts. Not necessarily true for two teacher parents today as housing and childcare might mean they can't afford to buy a home and are totally skint!

I bet you look 'expensive' with lovely flowy hair!

RP and went to Cambridge. I grew up on a Northern council estate. Funny how no one mistakes me for the same...

Dd used to get picked on at school and was called Tory girl.
She spoke very nicely and had a large vocabulary.
Everyone thought she was posh.
Personally I'd put that down to the many hours she spent in front of the tv watching Cbeebies as a toddler.