People think I’m rich from a rich family… but I’m not!

[rambutann]

I have this strange thing where people I meet or even friends have the impression that I come from a wealthy family. I honestly have no airs and graces, and have friends from a wide array of backgrounds. I speak and dress reasonably well. I don’t ski. I didn’t go to boarding school. But I did go to Cambridge.

My parents are lower-middle class, both teachers. One went to Oxford and boarding school, the other the child of factory workers.

But people just assume I’ve had an easy life and my parents are wealthy which is how I live where I live or have the job I do. But it’s far from it.

Does anyone else get judged for coming from a rich family even though they had a run of the mill upbringing?!

Yes, I do. Came from kinda aspirational working class parents. Grandparents were factory workers, parents were painter/ decorator and office work.
I speak well and am articulate. Put myself through Uni in my 30s. Interestingly, one of my 3 kids sounds south London, others talk like me.

You have an RP accent, went to Oxford and have a parent who went to boarding school and Cambridge. You’re fairly posh. You might not be rich but you are a bit posh.

Not all.

I’ve been on many MN class threads over the years and it’s striking that they often feature teachers who don’t appreciate being described as middle-class. I can understand preferring to identify with your family’s background but the simple fact remains that teaching is a graduate profession, and attending university and then entering a profession remains a defining hallmark of the middle class. You can consider yourself to be of a working class background but if you work as a qualified teacher then you have a middle-class career. ‘Middle class’ and ‘professional class’ are often used synonymously for this very reason.

@rambutann it’s the accent, I speak like you but was raised with not much. My Mother had a really lovely speaking and singing voice as had been on stage when young and insisted we spoke correctly. Her Mother spoke beautifully. She was the daughter of wealthy Victorian industrialists but married down by marrying my Sergeant Major Grandfather when pregnant so was disowned.

I am also mixed race to add to peoples confusion :)

You sound posh, it sounds like.
Do you have posh girl hair as well?
The hair makes a difference.

accent, cadence, and vocabulary go a long way towards perception, even if that perception is incorrect.

Medical staff frequently ask me if I am whether I am a doctor or a nurse, because I converse with them at my appointments in a way that makes them assume I must be one of them. I’m not, I just have an excellent vocabulary and have a tendency to speak very precisely due to my highly masked autism.

Why do you care? Honestly, just find your people and ignore the rest,

But I did go to Cambridge.

My parents are lower-middle class, both teachers. One went to Oxford and boarding school

Compared to a lot of people, you’d seem wealthy.

I’m from a ex-mining town up North, one parent a labourer, the other no qualifications and worked in shops. None went to uni. State comprehensive for both parents and me. No one from my school went to Cambridge.

So to some people you’d be viewed as wealthy. But on the other hand I’d assume mega rich and the upper class would see you as an ordinary pleb.

And as you get older people assume less and less, or maybe just because I’m now an “invisible” middle aged woman, no one is interested.

This is so true..🤔

🤔

I'm not sure Oxford and boarding school are lower middle class

Very good point. Unless people are making you miserable about it (and they can), why should you care?

Yes, it is fascinating.

If your father went to boarding school and Oxford he' s not working class unless the boarding school was funded on a scholarship or similar.

Did you go to a state school?

What's your job and where do you live- you say they make you seem 'posh'.

So what class are my DC if they attended boarding school on huge bursaries?
DH and I don't have degrees, but did go to music college.

Those are all relatively well paid careers. I think you were middle class. Two teacher salaries is not bad at all.

How wealthy people think they are is relative. My DH thinks he grew up poor. His parents owned multiple properties, had a private pension, his parents were skilled workers, they both worked, they had two cars. To me, they are wealthy. I grew up with a minimum wage working, renting, unskilled, single income family. We were not well off at all.

No-one with two teacher parents is less than middle class.

It’s accent.
People have made same assumptions about me too-
Especially outside of London.

Why do people obsess with having a poor upbringing? I couldn't possibly have been middle class because XYZ. Why is growing up middle class something to be ashamed of?

Surely it's only an issue if they are tapping you for cash?

If it bothers you, you def aren't posh or upper class.

Very true!
Once one passes a certain age you do become invisible-
It’s very noticeable.
But by no means a disadvantage. 👍👍

its your accent.

i’m from wealthy family, my parents are very wealthy. I got rolex for my 16th birthday. Thats how wealthy my parents is. But here, no one thinks i’m rich. I even feel that people saw me lesser than them. Its because i’m asian. I’m not british, they think i’m immigrant who claim benefits or something. I speak english with my own accent, not RP. So i dont sounds posh. I live in cambridge now, lots of students in Cambridge speak RP. I dont understand why accent can differentiate class here. I got lots of friend who speak RP but broke, on the other hand i got lots of my asian friends who speak broken english but rich and successful.

Children of teachers is quite posh!

Secondary teachers are definitely middle class; primary still have a lower-middle association (unfairly) like nurses.

I have an RP accent and Oxbridge degree, but grew up homeless and then in council estates, in a big single parent family on benefits. People always assume I come from a privileged background and I rarely tell them I went to university, yet alone Oxbridge. So I think it's the accent.

My husband has this. He's from Kent. Born in a council flat to a teen mum. His siblings are proper estuary accent "innit" but he speaks very well. People assume he is posh because he's southern (we live in the midlands) I find it quite funny and like to think his midlands exposure has softened the estuary ;)