People think I’m rich from a rich family… but I’m not!

[rambutann]

I have this strange thing where people I meet or even friends have the impression that I come from a wealthy family. I honestly have no airs and graces, and have friends from a wide array of backgrounds. I speak and dress reasonably well. I don’t ski. I didn’t go to boarding school. But I did go to Cambridge.

My parents are lower-middle class, both teachers. One went to Oxford and boarding school, the other the child of factory workers.

But people just assume I’ve had an easy life and my parents are wealthy which is how I live where I live or have the job I do. But it’s far from it.

Does anyone else get judged for coming from a rich family even though they had a run of the mill upbringing?!

Received Pronunciation - basically you sound like a typical BBC news reader.

I think of teachers as middle middle class.

People think I'm from a rich family, but not because of my accent - because they think my parents bankrolled my business. I started it from scratch with no experience but they think because of my age I had handouts.

This is why I never ever tell anyone in real life that I went to Cambridge. It immediately leads to stereotyping. Only when I know someone well and they ask very directly will I tell them. Sadly, bias and stereotypes are real.
State educated, dad is working class manual worker and mum is a teacher. But I have a neutral midlands accent, a working knowledge of country sports (farming family haha), and a Cambridge degree, which apparently makes me fair game to be seen as "posh".

Why. Do. You. Care?

At work I was once "accused" of being posh because I drank Earl Grey tea (with lemon) and used the word conduit in conversation.

So let them be and use it to your advantage to filter out il-logic people like that.

I have the opposite problem, OP. For realz! I can't tells whys.

Teacher here. Working class background. Definitely do not see myself as middle class

People make all sorts of assumptions. But I think if your parent went to boarding school and both parents were teachers , you speak in and RP accent, then it's not surprising they think it means you come from a reasonably well off/educated background. Why is it an issue?

Yes. I have just accepted it. People will think what they want to think.

who are you hanging around with?
literally no one has ever thought I was posh for going to Cambridge…no one cares.
I find it really odd that anyone would think you’re post because you have a degree from Cambridge and say it to your face. I just don’t buy it

I have this.Dad unemployed and lived in a filthy council flat.Before that he brought me up as a single parent in a 2 up 2 down house.Mum left when I was a young teen and was also unemployed.Both my parents were feckess but clever.Dad was self educated from reading , films, culture and I loved books growing up so I did well at school.I have no A levels as I left home at 16.Moved to London at 21 and did well for myself , met DH (poshish).When I get to know people and they hear my background they are really shocked as they assume I'm from a posh family.I got it all through my 20s and 30s. I used to get a real chip on my shoulder about it as I had to drag myself up and I hated the assumptions.I felt like people didn't get me.I don't have an accent but I suppose I'm well spoken.Mum was from London, Dad Scottish.Grew up in the South.

Teachers are lower middle class?!

Exactly same here. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I thought you were about to tell us that your father was a toolmaker.

Me!
I think it's my accent.
Grew up in East Anglia but have a pretty generic home counties accent. Also had a lot of speech therapy as a child which I think means I pronounce everything "properly". And I now live in Yorkshire so am told I sound posh quite a lot.

In actual fact I grew up in a single parent family, mum was a carer so not well paid, housing association home, free school meals for part of my childhood, got the top amount of EMA in sixth form (when that was still thing) and the full means tested grant when I went to uni (also when that was still a thing). So definitely not posh or even MC growing up. Literally just well spoken.

I get this all the time. I honestly don't know why. I am from a really rough council estate, no dad, benefit mum on all sorts of prescribed drugs. With the alcoholic abusive step dad by her side.

I don't let it bother me or think about it tbh.

Received pronunciation.

No one's ever believed I was posher than I am, but someone once asked me why I dyed my roots darker than my hair when I had bleached hair. I tend to think this person was an idiot. Another man asked me if I spoke German at home with my parents. Er, no, my family are all from Ireland. Thinking about it maybe blonde me looks a bit German because a French museum guard asked me if I was German years ago. Confusingly, instead of answering either in the French he'd used or English, I replied in German that I was in fact British. Total brain fart.

One knows exactly one means.

Beaucoup of people say somewhat similar of moi. Just because one's Mother was on a Pound Note (and stamps) they assume that one is loaded. It's not true, the unearned income from Cornwall hardly goes anywhere these days.

I have even had to start knocking out biscuits and tea and that sort of thing in fancy tins to try and keep myself to what one is accustomed.

Agreed. Seems pretty much a boast.

As someone from a working class background- anyone who is middle class or above is well off. Add an accent and Oxbridge education to that and it makes it even more apparent.

It was only in my 30s when I started socialising with people from middle class backgrounds that I realised that they didn’t view themselves as wealthy!! To me their privilege screams out and their upbringing is very different to mine. I find it actually quite insulting that middle class seem to think they have a run of the mill background. Maybe to your social circle it is run of the mill, and yes I realise you won’t have had the wealth of anyone upper class, but it is still very comfortable and well off to many many people.

I have the same. I didn’t go to Cambridge but have been an international student in 4 countries, I also attended a private school for a good few years. My parents didn’t have the money for such expensive education, I was just good at getting scholarships.

I also feel the need to correct people when they assume my family is loaded. I don’t know why I bother, the don’t believe me anyway… 🤷‍♀️

@rambutann you say people think you rich and leaving aside the fact that you don't know what people think because it's er, inside their heads, what do people say or do that lead you to your conclusions?