Ever met someone you later learned had done something really bad? **Content warning: thread contains mentions of child abuse**

[user2848502016]

Just asking because a few months ago someone I worked with suddenly stopped coming to work... then we found out he had been found guilty of possessing child porn 😬
He hadn't been working with us for long so didn't know him that well but he just seemed like a nice, slightly boring middle aged man! I know you can't ever tell by looking at someone but it just made me think anyone I know could be doing anything behind closed doors.....

Thread titled edited by MNHQ to add a content warning

I often work with offenders but a few people I know from school have been prosecuted for cse. One shocked me the most as he was the last person I would expect.

I think we all know by now that children being abused are not consenting. And that "child pornography" should not be used but that posters who say "child porn" are not actually saying that children consent to it. Not a single person on this thread has said this but still it goes on and on ...

If we could accept that porn in and of itself is a problem and most likely non-consensual then maybe we could worry less about the use of "child porn" from women who wish nothing but the best for children and everyone exploited by the porn industry. When does a child abuse picture become a porn picture - when the victim is 12? 13? 14? 15? 16? - oh 16 over the age of consent probably just porn.

I wish porn was illegal.

For myself well I grew up playing with a guy who had a child with his partner, they split, after a visit he disappeared with his child and was gone for 3 plus years - mother had no idea where her child was - distraught. Finally a tip came in. The police went to the house and he killed his child and himself.

I've also been in a very very very wealthy area of Florida and a guy from Enron who served time was there at the same wine shop, living his best life, spending all his ill-gotten gains.

Thank you so much.
My husband knows about the ex friend.
In my adult life I've never told another soul.

Yes I'm hopeful that help is available nowadays for children affected by any serious crime.

I'd like to think there is.

Gary Glitter and Jimmy Savile - Oh my goodness!

I've met 2 murderers

I met someone whilst I was visiting my auntie in the US, I used to stay for 3 months at a time as she lived there so was seeing him pretty regularly for about a year or so until it just fizzled out naturally. Never any red flags/warning signs etc, we just didn’t work out, both young & wanting to start building our careers etc. About 5 years later I found out through mutual friends that he got indicted on suspicion of manslaughter over the death of his girlfriend’s toddler about 2 years before we met. He ended up pleading guilty to 2nd degree murder, by this time I had a little boy myself (not to him) similar age to the little girl he killed. I’m so grateful I never ended up having children with him as that could have been my little boy. My son is now 23 & I still think about that little girl all the time, my heart breaks for her mama 💔

His brother was a wonderful person, I always thought the world of him so was devastated to find out his daughter was recently murdered by her husband & he now has custody of his granddaughter who he absolutely worships. It’s crazy how two brothers turned out so differently.

Not sure this counts, but whhen I was 16 my dad went to a conference for work. He took me and my mum as it was a little holiday for us. He was a paeditrician so there were obviously lots of paediatric doctors there. One, with whom my dad was somewhat friendly, got a bit silly and blushy around me before dinner one night. He reminded me of a particularly annoying boy my own age more than a man. At the table I randomly said: "I've realised some adults never really grow up," and all the paediatricians around the table were baffled, I didn't even really know what i meant. I'm pleased to say he kept his distance, however. A few years later he got arrested for having images of child abuse and I realised what I had come face to face with. He worked with older children too - still sends a chill up my spine. We had his family round for lunch, a dismal occasion, and I felt so sorry for them.

Whoah. What's that like?

He doesn't even drink alcohol doubt he's doing anything stronger.

The people that keep saying it's not true won't even know what a university admission process involves never mind anything else.
Too lazy to Google.

One of my team at work was jailed for sharing terrorist videos on the internet....

I've met a number of men who've committed vile crimes including rape child sexual abuse, attempted murder and arson. All but one came across as a pleasant, very ordinary person. Unfortunately abusers don't have neon signs above their heads.

No one thought Friends was real 🙄
The internet was available too!

"Child porn" certainly doesn't imply consent. Children can't legally give consent.

I like to hear that people pick up on it. It's chilling when you read about pepole who are married to paedophiles and say they saw no signs. If that's really true. then any of us could be married to paedophiles.

I have also encountered other men from time to time who I was instantly sure were pedophiles or rapists. I just don't have evidence that they really were.
I did have a feeling of general malevolence from a guy I parked next to one time. We locked eyes and I have a feeling he knew I knew because I probably looked a bit uneasy. When I got out of the shop I found my tires were slashed.
As regards being married to one, I would think the radar probably doesn't work on somebody you're close to.

It's not the advertising world, it's the governments that allow it that are morally bankrupt.
Advertising alcohol, gambling - shameful.
Fizzy drinks that affect fertility.
Caffeine that affects iron levels.
Junk food causing addiction and obesity.
Sugar causing diabetes.
Sugar, caffeine addiction.
However, you wouldn't have a first world country to live in if they banned it.
UK is built on consumerism.
People need to start using their own brains.

XChrome That is so sinister. The feeling you had and then something actually happens. You can never know for sure and that's maddening. But it was more than just a feeling.

I think some people do develop suspicions about people they're close to. Some people can face that. But yes, it's harder. I'm very paranoid, and I do scan for signs in my husband. There are no obvious signs, or I wouldn't be married to him! But I look for the subtle ones. He's got zero interest in kids or young people, other than his own children - his obsession is proving himself amongst men (this can be a PITA, but it's in the realms of normal). Check. There's no creeping around or unexplained lost time, I always know where he is and what he's doing. Check. I have access to all his email addresses and passcodes to all his devices, have done since I can remember. Check.

But I'm no detective - these may not be proof of anything.

And how do you REALLY know?

The first guy had never been arrested before but the second-the police have been known to come in over something else and stand chatting to him
They certainly don't tell him to leave
We have no powers to get him out
I've seen him hanging around the park,local shops,schools etc
I agree they are not meant to,but nobody enforces it

Havingaswimmoose
there's a blast zone around incidents like this. You are definitely in it and have every right to identify as someone who 'matters' even if the families were worst affected. People have different constitutions - not everyone reacts in the same way. Just because other people put it behind them, that might not be right for you. You could be sensitive and that's a valuable trait Trauma comes through from your post, but it seems totally appropriate for that to be so. I don't know the details but just wanted to say that xxx Hugs and I really feel for you.

Agree. And I just love that some posters think advertising is worse than crime connected to illegal drugs. The fact that apparently these criminals are also ‘philanthropists’ should somehow make us feel all warm and fuzzy towards them, regardless of how they wreck people’s lives in so many ways.

Wow

I hope they paid for lunch 😂

1. I didn’t have Internet access in work until 1998. And that was in work. Friends started in 1995.
2. About the show - what I meant is me and my friends all got our own flats and met up and had coffee. I didn’t actually mean we thought it was real. Monica’s apartment was enormous and she didn’t earn much. I was just using a turn of phrase.
3. This MN is bloody hard work. I was just trying to paint a picture and create a bit of context for the time. Saw a thread on here about why people don’t have dinner parties these days.

Particularly as at the time of the murders he worked as a grave digger and subsequently a lorry driver.