Would you be happy with a stranger giving your DC a lift?

[friendsofatune]

12 year old, Year 7.

School is on the edge of nearby village. Bus turned up and drove off without stopping, despite him standing there

Woman saw what happened when getting in her car, asked if he was okay (he was crying), and said she would drive him

Journey was 5/6 minutes long. About 50/60 minutes if walking it.

Is this overstepping the mark and scary behaviour that a complete stranger would do this?

I don't think there was any need to tell him it could have been fatal. Totally OTT.

The people saying that they are surprised a 12 year old was crying , why? He is a 12 year old, new to high school and probably worried about being late. It's fine for a 12 year old boy or girl to get a bit overwhelmed and upset when faced with a situation that they haven't been in before.

@friendsofatune you have a very normal, sensible child, he made a good decision, don't go on at him & make him too scared to make decisions!

I think it’s lovely of her. Thank God there are some people left who know it takes a village to raise a child. I’m sorry to see the op’s response

The replies on this thread are really depressing. Why can't a 12 year old boy cry? Would the PPs still respond the same if this post related to a young girl? Or is it just boys who aren't allowed to cry

I think probably go apologise for being OTT, particularly if he is quite fragile/sensitive/emotional at the moment he'll be worrying. Explain your concern, express your gratefulness for his risk assessing and together think up a process for next time

This. Why didn't he ring you?

This has already been explained.

Yes, I wondered that as well.

Oh I think she was being kind. I know its an awful world but it's sad to see her actions as overstepping instead of the actions of a kind fellow mum.

I'm sure you'll have your phone on ring from now on so it won't happen again.

Conflicted. Stranger danger yes but kids who are abused statistically are abused by people who know them and the vast majority of people are kind.

I would have helped but suggested he called mum and left the call ( or even face time call ) open on speaker all the way to destination ( and to track him). I also have work ID I he could send her.

( my sis , me and then 15yr old niece were rescued by strangers when we were stuck in a mega snow dump and the bus stopped 2 miles from home . The first car that stopped could only take 1 - niece was crying by then - she is a wimp- so the lady gave us a photo of her work ID - which was very kind of her and took neice - we were picked up 5 mins later by some other kind strangers )

I think it's absolutely fine for a nice lady to stop and give a crying child a 5 minute lift!
How lovely of her.
I remember my mum stopping to give a stranded teenager a lift home once in the pre-mobile days.

Sounds like your son made a good risk assessment since he couldn't reach you.
I wouldn't get in a strange man's car but I would accept a lift from a mum with a toddler in the back.

The boy made a risk assessment and took a decision. That decision was correct - he got home safely. Also he is correct that women with toddlers are v unlikely to pick up and murder 12yo boys. So his risk assessment was sound. Personally I would congratulate him on his good sense. Then work out a better plan for getting home next time he misses the bus.

I would have given him a lift, although I would probably have left my name for your sake. I would not have had you track me.

Turn it around

My son missed the bus, he was stood in the pouring rain and not a soul offered to help. One lady did hesitate but she said she couldn't take strange children in her car.

Perhaps it is because I'm rural. But I would have happily scooped him up. Said tell mum x from y farm. Stay safe.

Hmm, I'm pretty sure there was a famous serial killer who went out in her car with one of her own babies to look "safe" to children she picked up. Maybe Myra Hindley?

I agree. He couldn’t get hold of you and so weighed up the risks. It was the right decision and probably one most of us here would make as adults if we were stranded.

There is probably a bigger chance of being hit by a car/struck by lightening/trampled by a cow if he tried to walk than being abducted and murdered by a serial killer mum with her toddler in tow if he got in her car.

We live in a fairly safe place and I would offer a lift to any kid on our road or estate who knows me or either of my kids or if I know who their parents are. I would want an unknown kid to check with their parent. I think your kid probably shouldn’t have gotten in a car with a stranger but at least he had a rationale (mum with toddler) even if you don’t agree with it - thankfully it worked out ok and at least you can now agree what should happen in future.

There might have been a 'famous' serial killer 70 or 100 years ago that had a baby in the car...
More children have probably been abducted by aliens or hit by meteorites in that time than murdered by mums with toddlers.

She might have kidnapped the toddler too!

More likely to get hit by a car walking 60 minutes home from the edge of a nearby village than be offered a lift by a woman in the middle of a child-kidnap spree.

Really shocked by a lot of these replies tbh. I think you sound ungrateful and alarmist. I actually offered a lift to a boy aged anywhere between 13-16 this week. He had fallen off his bike in front of me outside my son's primary school. He was crying, saying he thinks he's broken his leg. I picked up his bike, helped pick him up. Offered my phone etc but he said no, I offered to walk his bike home with him or give him a lift if he couldn't walk but he declined all, after he had calmed down a bit he reverted to shrugging/ignoring me, and I assumed he was embarrassed, but now I wonder if he thought I was trying to kidnap him.

I couldn't have said it better myself. I have a 12yo son in Y7 who also gets the bus home. I would absolutely be fine with him making this decision.

My son is 11 and I would totally see that he would cry if he thought he was stuck somewhere.
I'm not convinced that some adults wouldn't cry in similar circumstances either .

Yes I would be happy that this lady put herself out, to ensure your child got home safely. She had no nefarious intentions towards him, and he got home safely because of her. I'd be trying to find her to thank her.

I also teach my children that in emergencies, look for mums with kids. Not that mums need more stresses on their lives, but they're the most likely to be proactive and helpful, and safe. I think your son made the right choice.

I think she was misguided but being kind.

Your phone was turned off, he made a good risk assessment.

What if something did happen.? And that nice woman was the woman who saw the victim crying at the bus stop after missing the bus in a rural area and left him there. People would be outraged.

I crashed my bike once going down a hill when I was 9 and a nice lady drove me home and a truck picked up my bike. I was bleeding everywhere on the side of the road crying Help Me as people drove by. I'll forever be grateful to her.