Long post ahead!
Just a bit of a back story,
When I was 19 I had two kids that were removed from my care and I was in a really abusive relationship. My boyfriend at the time didn’t abuse or touch the kids, I just want to make that clear. He did the bare minimum when it came to being a dad to them, he was more concerned with drugs and whatever girl he could get with.
I put him first, I could not see clearly what was right in front of me, I was very young and stupid and I put him before my kids even when everyone including social services had basically told me to leave him.
We lost the kids after we had went for a walk and the police had stopped us to search us, as he was acting suspicious so they said. The police had said he smelt like weed and referred us to social services, we already had a social worker due to reports of his temper in public places. I left the kids to my mum, which I was advised to do by the social worker and we had gone through all these meetings, which he failed to attend with me, I was a wreck from losing the kids that I still stayed hooked on him. A few weeks later, I found out I was pregnant and my social worker at the time was the one to convince me to keep the baby when I had said I couldn’t do this with my two kids in care. She had hinted to get rid of him but I didn’t still I thought that he would change for us to get the kids back but I finally opened my eyes and asked for help to leave when he beat me 5 months pregnant in front of his friends. One of his friends called my social worker for me, got me out of the house and they had picked me up and put me in supported living which they had already had a flat waiting for me was just waiting for me to want to use it.
I went through depression and anxiety, I isolated myself for 2 months but one day I woke up and I was not going to let this man win. I had finally opened my eyes. I went out and got my unborn babies stuff ready for her, all new clothes, her furniture, everything she absolutely needed I had finally got her a month before I was due to have her. I asked for help to get counselling sorting and I saw my therapist for 2/3 years and it helped me so much.
The problem was, I was now 20 and I had my youngest DD home with me under a CPR and my older two were in foster care and we were in and out of court, I was undergoing assessments after assessments and the social worker didn’t think I’d cope with 3 kids and to be completely honest, which I didn’t admit at the time I was totally scared at the thought of having 3 kids on my own. 3 kids under the age of 4 at the age of 20. I just felt like I needed to fight for my kids, they had pushed for an adoption and I had helped pick a lovely family, we met a few times, on our own and with all the kids. It was then that I finally knew that giving this family my two children was the best choice for everyone. I now see my two kids every half term and regular video calls and letters as well We have such a great relationship with the parents as well. We are always included in absolutely everything they plan. I haven’t had social workers in 4 years now and I’m 7 years older, wiser and stronger. I’m a great mum to my DD who is now 6 and I’ve accepted the whole situation a very long time ago. I’m mentally okay, no more therapist, I’m just living a great life. I still stay in contact with my social worker, I meet her for lunch every so often to catch up, she played such an important part of my life and I couldn’t imagine us never seeing her again. The boyfriend at the time now has 11 kids with 4 different woman mine being the oldest.
Since I was a teenager, I have wanted to work with children in a nursery, it was my first job at 16 and I didn’t finish my apprenticeship due to getting pregnant a year in my placement and not thinking I could do both.
I have not tried to work in a nursery in over 10 years due to dealing with that and then being scared I couldn’t actually work with kids.
I’ve been offered a nursery position now, I’ve completed my police background check, two references and my medical form but now they are going to send it off to social services for vetting and I’m worried this will be what decides I can’t work there. The manager that done my interview and induction is confident that it won’t be a problem. But I can’t help be nervous. Does anyone have any advice or know anyone that’s had something similar?
My social worker that I still meet for lunch also said it shouldn’t be a problem and she was one of my references but I obviously am totally in my head with it
No judgement. I completely own up to my mistakes and I pay for it every single day. The kids are totally happy and thriving and they know who we are and the gists of what happened