Uncle Billy lost his willy

[ThreeLocusts]

Jingle bells, Batman smells/Robin flew away/uncle Billy lost his willy/on the motorway...
(sung to the tune of the Xmas song)

it's one of a handful of rude rhymes my children learned early on in primary school. This was in the Southeast in the 2010s, but a friend who grew up in Manchester in the 1970s said he knew this rhyme too.

I'd just like to get a sense of how widespread and how old it is. Has it been around since the first Batman TV series of the late 50s (I think)? And do you have other examples of disrespectful children's rhymes featuring pop cultural references? Or rude rhymes full stop? I find this one oddly joyful....

My primary school (mid to late 80s south Wales) we seemed to have a lot of hang over WW2 related songs so songs about German bombers in the
e air and the RAF of your school shooting them down,. This was probably the least offensive one -

Hitler has only got one ball,the other is in the Albert hall, his mother, the dirty bugger, cut it off when he was small. She threw it from a coconut tree, it landed at the bottom of the sea. The fishes, the little fishes, they had scallops and bollocks for tea

And for dipping -
Ip dip dog shit
Who stepped in it
Not because you're dirty
Not because you're clean,
My mother says you're a fairy queen
God's word is true
It must not be you

(Starting to think my primary school was particularly foul mouthed 🤣)

This one. Same era, same area!

Yes ! Omg that's brought back memories. Singing it now in my head.

only the first line changed each time.
1st verse He fell from 40 thousand feet without a parachute (x 3)
But his soul goes marching on
then chorus
2nd verse;
They scraped him off the tarmac like a pound of strawberry jam (x3)
3rd verse
they put him in a jam jar and they sent him home to mum. (X3)
not sure if the last line but could be :
she spread him on a slice of toast and she are it for her tea.

Sounds like there are a lot of stories about the poor guy who jumped without his parachute 😆

Kojack lost his lollipop on the M3 motorway
(south east, 80’s, I had no idea who kojack was)

Fatty and Skinny rhymes (I always imagined were about Laurel and Hardy)

Fatty and Skinny
were in the bath
Fatty blew off
And skinny laughed

Fatty and Skinned
were on the loo
Fatty had a wee
And skinny had a poo

Really I thought this thread might be about my friend Billy

My friend Billy’s
Got a ten foot willy
and he showed it to the woman next door
She thought it was a snake
and hit it with a rake
and now it’s only 2 foot 4

Mary had a little lamb
she thought it rather silly
She threw it up into the air
and caught it by it’s…
Willy was a watchdog
lying in the grass
Along came a bumblebee
and stung him up the…
Ask no questions
tell no lies
I saw a deadman
Pulling up his…
Flies and bees
bugs are worse
This is the end
of my little verse

We sang this in the 70’s along with a few other ones. We are from east Anglia.

I remember

Little Miss Muffet
Sat on her tuffet
Her dress was all tattered and torn.
It wasn't a spider
Who sat down bedside her
It was little boy blue and his horn!

That's the one I remember, but his was 6ft in the 1970's !

Slightly similar one (London, 70s)

Up on the mountain
On the green grass
I saw a bald dog
Scratching his
Now don't get excited.
Don't be misled.
I saw a bald dog
Scratching his head.

Up on the mountain
I started to shudder,
I saw a bald cow
Scratching her
Now don't get excited.
Don't be misled.
I saw a bald cow
Scratching her head.

Our version was far more foul mouthed:

Ip dip dog shit
Fucking bastard dirty git
You are not it

As a means for deciding who was 'it' in games.

Jingle bells, jingle bells, snowflakes on the ground,
Uncle Ned peed the bed and we all nearly drowned,
Mrs Flynn couldn't swim granny blew a fart,
It blew the Christmas candle out and left us in the dark

Keech, toaly, bum, fart
All went down to Richmond Park
Keech, toaly couldnae swim
Bum fart blew them in

Thank God for this…I was reading all the jingle bells versions thinking that’s not the one I know! Though in the version I know the willy ends up five foot four, not two!

When Suzy was a teenager
a teenager she was
and she went
“Ooh, ah, I lost my bra
i left my knickers in my boyfriends car”

My mum said she used to say this one:
Ahem,ahem,Kiss my bum
If I have a party you won't come
Bread without butter, tea without sugar
Ahem, ahem, Kiss my bum!

A unique variation, not seen anywhere else - where is this from?

Does anyone remember any last day of term songs? One of ours went (to the tune of "My Old Man's a Dustman"
One more day of pain
One more day of sorrow
One more day in this old dump
We won't be here tomorrow!
😁

I thought about the same thing , the tune was "this old man , he played one"

"We break up, we break down,
We don't care if the school falls down
No more English no more French
No more sitting on the old school bench "

I think there was more...

Yes, that one too! 😂

I remember us singing to the tune of "My Darling Clementine " :
Build a bonfire, build a bonfire,
Put the teachers on the top,
Put the prefects in the middle,

And we'll burn the bloomin' lot!

Ditto in Cardiff

@NotMeNoNo

If the teacher interferes, tie her up and box her ears.
If that doesn't serve her right
Blow her up with dynamite.