Uncle Billy lost his willy

[ThreeLocusts]

Jingle bells, Batman smells/Robin flew away/uncle Billy lost his willy/on the motorway...
(sung to the tune of the Xmas song)

it's one of a handful of rude rhymes my children learned early on in primary school. This was in the Southeast in the 2010s, but a friend who grew up in Manchester in the 1970s said he knew this rhyme too.

I'd just like to get a sense of how widespread and how old it is. Has it been around since the first Batman TV series of the late 50s (I think)? And do you have other examples of disrespectful children's rhymes featuring pop cultural references? Or rude rhymes full stop? I find this one oddly joyful....

Sorry, Staines 1980s

We used to sing
"What do you do if you want to go to loo in an English Country Garden
Pull down your pants and paralyse the ants in an English Country Garden
Then get a spade and bury what you made in an ECG."
South London late 70s

Same!!!

Or ‘so he bought a milky way’

Went to school primary and secondary between 1987 and 1998

The only difference was we sang "father Christmas lost his knickers on the M1 motorway"

I'm from Kent

Uncle Billy lost his Willy on the motorway - Merseyside 1970’s

also Willy was a watchdog sitting on the grass, along came a bumblebee and stung Willy’s ask no questions tell no lies I saw a policeman pull down his FLIES are a nuisance bees are worse and that is the end of my silly little verse!

Jingle Bells, Batman smells,
Robin flew away...
He lost his pants in the south of France
And he found them in Bombay!

Leeds, late 80s/early 90s.

Our version ( 1970s East Anglia) was:
My friend Billy had a ten foot willy,
And showed it to the girl next door.
She thought it was a snake,
So she hit it with a rake,
And now it's only six feet four.

My Uncle Billy lost his willy along the motorway in London in the late 90s/early 00s

Very similar but with a few extra lines:

Jingle Bells, Batman smells, Robin flew away
Landed in a football pitch and didn't know how to play - hey!
Jingle Bells, Batman smells, Robin flew away
Uncle Billy lost his willy on the M1 motorway!

Hampshire, early 1990s.

Thanks everyone! Just what I wanted to know.

Kojak... he's a bald, trenchcoat-wearing American TV detective, right? I'm guessing from the 70s. Was the programme big in the UK? Or is it just that the name's good to rhyme with? Questions, questions.

Jingle bells, someone smells
Half a mile away
Did a fart behind a cart
And blew the school away.

80s Belfast. The IRA version @Cluborange666 mentioned was around too, but less common.

And my local regional variation of the 10 foot willy rhyme had the penis in question belonging to (old/good/other single syllable word) King Billy (William of Orange) rather than Uncle Billy. I only heard that from Protestant kids though, so I'm not sure if there was a different Catholic version.

Yes we sang that as well!

Exact same lyrics - west mids 1980s - my DD8 came home singing the same lyrics (as if she and pals had invented it) last year.

that's interestingly complicated, the 'watchdog' rhyme. I had to recite it in my head to make sense of it.

Yes, Kojak was a popular show in the UK. 3 channels and it was so much easier to be successful

Who loves ya, baby?!

Also, 1970s again:
While shepherds watched their flocks by night,
All watching ITV?
The angel of the Lord came down,
And switched to BBC.

Only three TV stations then and many people considered the BBC superior to ITV.
We also sang the alternative version to We Three Kings mentioned upthread.

"Who loves ya baby?!" Yes to American, no to trench coat wearing (that was Columbo), Kojak used to suck a lollypop. IRL he was Jennifer Aniston's godfather!

We three kings of Trafalgar Square
Selling ladies’ underwear
So fantastic
No elastic,
Only 5 Bob a pair
Oh, oh,
Star of wonder,
Star of light,
Fill your pants with dynamite,
Light the fuse and off you go,
Round the world to Mexico,

Same here in Ireland in the 1980's

Jesus Chris, superstar,
Came down from heaven on a Yamaha
Did a skid
Killed a kid
Ripped his balls on a dustbin lid.

Confused me at first as a child because I had a Yamaha keyboard - I didn't know it was also the brand of a motorcycle! 😂

Uncle Billy lost his willy in Lancashire in the 90's too. See also "I believe I can fly, I got shot by the FBI, all I wanted was a bag of chips, I got shot in the dangly bits..." To the Rkelly song "I believe I can fly"

"While shepherds washed their socks by night
All seated round the tub
An angel of the Lord came down
And gave them all a scrub"

Yes, Uncle Billy lost his willy around 1990 as well.

Uncle Billy lost his Willy in the motorway, Hey! South London 1980s.