Uncle Billy lost his willy

[ThreeLocusts]

Jingle bells, Batman smells/Robin flew away/uncle Billy lost his willy/on the motorway...
(sung to the tune of the Xmas song)

it's one of a handful of rude rhymes my children learned early on in primary school. This was in the Southeast in the 2010s, but a friend who grew up in Manchester in the 1970s said he knew this rhyme too.

I'd just like to get a sense of how widespread and how old it is. Has it been around since the first Batman TV series of the late 50s (I think)? And do you have other examples of disrespectful children's rhymes featuring pop cultural references? Or rude rhymes full stop? I find this one oddly joyful....

Yep we had the same rhyme only ‘we are the Geordie girls ‘ was how it started. And I saw the boy next door, he had a jaguar’ was the line we sang there!! But the rest was the same.

Charlie was a parachute in the RAF song- chorus
glory glory what a hell of a way to die, when you’re hanging by your balls in the middle of the sky. . . .

Wow so pleased to see new verses/versions still arriving!

I never heard the 'we're the [somewhere] girls/we wear our hair in curls' one, luckily perhaps. Pretty in-your-face...

PS sorry about the GIF, I can't get rid of it...?!

This all sounds very familiar!

my daughter sings a slightly distressing song about a bee which has a similar vibe.

im squishing up my baby bumblebee
wont my mummy be so very proud of me
I’m squishing up my baby bumblebee
oh eee
the bees icky

Oh yes, there was a version of that at my kids' school:

happy birthday to you
stick your head down the loo
you look like a monkey
and you smell like one too.

Yes our version just said teenage girls!

PS one of my kids knows this version:

happy birthday to you
stick you head down the loo
if you feel something squishy
it's a present for you

This thread is excellent! I'd forgotten parts of some of these rhymes and have now been reminded.

the rude Teddy bears picnic!

We sang 'glory, glory what a funny way to die, when you're wearing frilly knickers amd you don't know how to fly' at a Beavers camp few weeks ago. I'd never heard of it before.

I also like how the American versions of 'Robin laid an egg' are all very sweet in comparison to the Britsh filth

Dontlletmedownbruce · Today 20:30

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water
Jill forgot to take the pill
And now they have a daughter.

Or:

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a bucket of cheese
Jack came down with a smile on his face
And his trousers round his knees

Ursulla · Today 20:42

Up above the streets and houses Bungle's flying high
Opens up his hairy arse and shits in Zippy's eye

We had:

Up above the streets and houses Bungle's flying high
Someone pulls a shotgun out and blow him out the sky

Mr Silly here.

Ours was an A Team reference - 80s London.

Jingle Bells, Batman smells, Robin flew away.
Face took off his underpants
And threw them at BA.

All the Jack and Jill ones have reminded me of this:

Georgie Porgy pudding and pie
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play
He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.

Did anyone sing Bay city roller song?
B A Y. B A Y
B a y c i t y
With a RO double L E R S
Bay city rollers are the best
1970s East Midlands usually on school bus

Happy birthday to you
Squashed tomatoes and stew
Bread and butter in the gutter
Happy birthday to you

TheFifthTellytubby · Today 22:09

I remember that one! They used to play it on Radio 1.

Latest one I've heard on the playground by 5-7yr olds...

Peppa Pig!!
Tripped on a wire, fell in the fire,
Bacon strips!
(Sung to the tune of Peppa pig... )

Yes 1970s north midlands.

ThisQuirkyPeachHare · Today 22:17

Ah, my 11 year old daughter came out with that the other day.

I’m guessing some of it could be atttributed to kids meeting on holidays in the UK. Also cousins play together and can be spread out. It is wild though

I heard a German version of milk milk lemonade

Early 1980s Liverpool, we sang
Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin flew away
Kojak lost his lollipop and Kermit rules OK!

Happy Birthday to you
Squashed tomatoes and stew
Bread and butter, in the gutter
Happy Birthday to you!

Also,

Happy Birthday to you
You were born in a zoo
You were born with three monkeys
And you look like one too!

Less innocent, to the tune of "Oom pa pa...."

Bum, tit, tit
Bum tit, tit
Play the willy banjo!

Primary school, Merseyside, 1970s.

Some of us sang "bay city rollers are a mess" for the last line.